|
10-06-2012, 10:33 PM | #151 |
Ith Fuhtbawl Time
Join Date: Apr 2010
Casino cash: $9999900
|
The time I helped my dad buy a suit for my wedding. He looked at the price, and the salesman:
"My butthole ain't lined in gold!" I could share about the time I was 12 and my dad told me his current wife's (his third) pussy smelled like a rotten toilet. Or the time he told me I could have any one of a million dads but only one mom. My mom found great offense in this, my dad failed to see what he'd really said. Or my youngest brother being about 10 and complaining about his teacher. "Is she feeding you? Is she ****ing you? Then she don't matter...." "Buy you books and send you to school and all you think about is ****ing the teacher..." My dad told me when I was in 5th grade. I can go all day... |
Posts: 10,085
|
10-06-2012, 10:35 PM | #152 |
**** the Raiders
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: A Webb of chaos
Casino cash: $742021
|
My grand dad used to mess with us by saying, "I'll knock the fart outta you".
__________________
"Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, and disregard of all the rules." -- George Orwell, Shooting an Elephant |
Posts: 28,864
|
10-06-2012, 10:36 PM | #153 |
Learn it. Know it. Live it.
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: St. Petersburg, FL
Casino cash: $10004900
|
Son, you have illusions of grandeur.
__________________
- * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - Four blessings upon my fellow planeteers: Older whiskey, younger women, faster horses, and more money. |
Posts: 10,840
|
10-06-2012, 10:37 PM | #154 |
**** the Raiders
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: A Webb of chaos
Casino cash: $742021
|
"Who hit him in the ass with a sour apple this morning?"
__________________
"Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, and disregard of all the rules." -- George Orwell, Shooting an Elephant |
Posts: 28,864
|
10-06-2012, 10:54 PM | #155 |
pie is never free
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: the drivers seat
Casino cash: $2237775
|
What do you want, egg in your beer?
|
Posts: 94,055
|
10-07-2012, 01:20 AM | #156 |
New and shiny.
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: KC KS
Casino cash: $9270260
|
My mom would say this "Now who's ass is the blackest?" when pointing out she was right and the other person was wrong.
My dad would say "That's the gubment ****ing you in the ass with the big green weenie" Dad: 'Son ****ing your mom was like ****ing a wet sponge'. |
Posts: 10,198
|
10-07-2012, 06:44 AM | #157 |
Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: lobation
Casino cash: $272480
|
You want fair?
Go to Sedalia in August. |
Posts: 957
|
10-07-2012, 07:27 AM | #158 |
Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: West Des Moines, Iowa
Casino cash: $10005205
|
"Son, I've done square danced twice in towns you ain't even heard of before!"
|
Posts: 364
|
10-07-2012, 07:31 AM | #159 |
Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wichita
Casino cash: $4142833
|
Gramps-
You're ****ing this cat I'm just holding the tail.. The only way you could be dumber is to be bigger I'm fuller than a junk yard goat (after a large meal)
__________________
|
Posts: 1,640
|
10-07-2012, 07:33 AM | #160 |
Resident Glue Sniffer
Join Date: Nov 2003
Casino cash: $3869358
|
Oh, when my dad will sneeze really loudly a few times in a row, he'll yell "shit fire"! At the end of the last sneeze.
.....now I do that shit. |
Posts: 37,394
|
10-07-2012, 08:28 AM | #161 |
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Pond> Me <Barn
Casino cash: $11298284
|
'Want' in one hand, shit in the other. See which one fills up faster.
__________________
BrainCase |
Posts: 15,429
|
10-07-2012, 08:46 AM | #162 |
Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2005
Casino cash: $9192156
|
My grandpa used to say "that's like feeding strawberries to a jackass." for example, after Roseanne sang the star spangled banner, he said that watching her was like feeding strawberries to a jackass.
He also said "cripe Pete" a lot. I say that now. |
Posts: 4,704
|
10-07-2012, 09:01 AM | #163 |
I’m a Mahomo!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Mid-Missouri
Casino cash: $6771021
|
Dad to me: You don't know shit from Shinola.
__________________
|
Posts: 54,038
|
10-07-2012, 09:04 AM | #164 |
Resident Glue Sniffer
Join Date: Nov 2003
Casino cash: $3869358
|
When trying to juggle too many things/priorities my dad would say "it's like stuffing 5 pounds of shit in a 3 pound bucket"
Or "up to your ass in alligators" |
Posts: 37,394
|
|
|