Sixteen years of human-squirrel diplomacy ... gone in an instant.

[Rain Man]

I was in the kitchen today, and saw a squirrel out in our plum tree.

For some reason the squirrels like to gnaw on the plum tree's bark, and my wife asked if the squirrel was gnawing. I wasn't sure, but I was eating crackers and decided to throw one out there so the squirrel would have something else to gnaw.

So I open the door and wing out a cracker. Now, the plum tree is about 25 feet from our back door, so you really have to put some arm into a cracker to have any hope of it making a distance near the tree. I was aided by the fact that it was one of those denser round crackers as opposed to a saltine or club cracker, so I went sidearm and winged it like frisbee.

This thing catches the wind, arcs out and then peels back toward the tree. The plum tree is one of those trees that has a lot of dense branches and twigs and stuff, and this thing stays airborne, zips through the branches ... and nails the squirrel right in the shoulder blade. He never knew what hit him.

What are the odds of that? I try to be a good squirrel neighbor, and then I go and nail one with a cracker from 25 feet away. No one's ever going to believe it was an accident, and now I'm going to be having nuts dropped on me every time I go outside.

[4th and Long]

Originally Posted by Lumpy

This is the look I get from our squirrel, Wally

Does he play well with the Beaver?

[Rausch]

You busy later today man?

'Cause, just say'n, if you'd like to throw a few more "crackers" you'd really be helping me out...

[bench_cassel]

did you buy these squirrels online?

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by bench_cassel

did you buy these squirrels online?

Heh. I'd forgotten about this thread.

Fortunately, these were free public squirrels, so I'm not going to have the USPS coming after me for squirrel fraud.

In an unrelated squirrel incident, at least one of our free public squirrels has developed an odd habit. He comes up onto our 100+ year-old front porch and gnaws on the edges of the floor boards. I have no idea why, but he's taken almost half an inch off of two or three boards. He's not hungry, because there's food all around, and it's not like these 100+ year-old oak boards are tasty twigs. It's quite the mystery.

We have an apple tree in the back yard that practically rains apples, so we've moved several apples to the porch right where Mr. Squirrel does his gnawing. So far it seems to be working. He goes after the apples instead of the porch. But it's still confusing. The back yard is full of apples if he likes them, and I think he knows how to get to the back yard even though his tree is in the front yard.

[Ebolapox]

wait--how did this not hit 100 replies? this place is slipping.

[Fish]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Heh. I'd forgotten about this thread.

Fortunately, these were free public squirrels, so I'm not going to have the USPS coming after me for squirrel fraud.

In an unrelated squirrel incident, at least one of our free public squirrels has developed an odd habit. He comes up onto our 100+ year-old front porch and gnaws on the edges of the floor boards. I have no idea why, but he's taken almost half an inch off of two or three boards. He's not hungry, because there's food all around, and it's not like these 100+ year-old oak boards are tasty twigs. It's quite the mystery.

We have an apple tree in the back yard that practically rains apples, so we've moved several apples to the porch right where Mr. Squirrel does his gnawing. So far it seems to be working. He goes after the apples instead of the porch. But it's still confusing. The back yard is full of apples if he likes them, and I think he knows how to get to the back yard even though his tree is in the front yard.

He's taking care of his teeth. Squirrel teeth grow like 4-5" per year, and they have to constantly chew stuff other than food to trim down their teeth.

[UteChief]

I do not know if I have ever read this thread before but it made my day.

[Gary]

[notorious]

Originally Posted by UteChief

I do not know if I have ever read this thread before but it made my day.

Scott Pioli is about to get an extension.


Enjoy the rest of your day.

[Nickel D]

Just think what you could have done with a pistol...

(picture Rain Man sidearming -- no pun intended -- the gun into the tree)

[T-post Tom]

HOLLAND TOWNSHIP, Mich. -- Authorities say a blaze that displaced dozens of people from a southwest Michigan apartment complex may have been sparked by a resident trying to cook a squirrel with a propane torch.

Fire Chief Jim Kohsel tells MLive.com that the resident apparently planned to eat the animal and was burning off its fur on a third-floor deck at the building in Ottawa County's Holland Township when the fire broke out Wednesday. Flames spread to the roof. Kohsel says eight apartments are destroyed and others damaged.

The resident's name wasn't immediately released.

Kohsel says a firefighter broke a toe. No residents were injured.

Resident Tiffany Camburn told The Holland Sentinel that she and her neighbors had to evacuate their apartments.

The American Red Cross arranged temporary shelter and clothing for displaced residents.

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/2012/10/11...#storylink=cpy

[Flachief58]

Originally Posted by T-post Tom

HOLLAND TOWNSHIP, Mich. -- Authorities say a blaze that displaced dozens of people from a southwest Michigan apartment complex may have been sparked by a resident trying to cook a squirrel with a propane torch.

Fire Chief Jim Kohsel tells MLive.com that the resident apparently planned to eat the animal and was burning off its fur on a third-floor deck at the building in Ottawa County's Holland Township when the fire broke out Wednesday. Flames spread to the roof. Kohsel says eight apartments are destroyed and others damaged.

The resident's name wasn't immediately released.

Kohsel says a firefighter broke a toe. No residents were injured.

Resident Tiffany Camburn told The Holland Sentinel that she and her neighbors had to evacuate their apartments.

The American Red Cross arranged temporary shelter and clothing for displaced residents.

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/2012/10/11...#storylink=cpy

WTF? they're not that hard to skin

[Bump]

that reminds me of the time I was out golfing with 2 buddies. There were a group of turkeys out in the fairway. Pretty far away, it was close to the green on a straight away par 4 and we teed off on a cliff and then you go down onto the fairway.

I said to my friends, $20 says I hit a turkey. Now I suck ass at golf and can't aim a golf ball accurately, I never even considered that I could actually hit them. Sure enough, nailed one. they all ran off and they never gave me any money.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Bump

that reminds me of the time I was out golfing with 2 buddies. There were a group of turkeys out in the fairway. Pretty far away, it was close to the green on a straight away par 4 and we teed off on a cliff and then you go down onto the fairway.

I said to my friends, $20 says I hit a turkey. Now I suck ass at golf and can't aim a golf ball accurately, I never even considered that I could actually hit them. Sure enough, nailed one. they all ran off and they never gave me any money.

Your friends all ran off, or the turkeys all ran off? And which group owed you the $20?

[Bump]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Your friends all ran off, or the turkeys all ran off? And which group owed you the $20?

lol the turkeys ran off, even though my friends said "ok" after I said "$20 says I hit a turkey", they felt it wasn't a real bet and never paid. Bastards.