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Old 07-30-2013, 02:04 PM  
Cave Johnson Cave Johnson is offline
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Paralyzed Man Wakes to Find His Dog Bit Off His Testicle



Fluffy white dogs are a menace & should be eradicated (or, if you're feeling humane, universally sterilized). Finally my innate prejudice against them is justified.

Quote:
An Arkansas man paralyzed from the waist down told police he awoke Monday morning to a "burning pain," only to find his dog chewing on a ball. His ball, that is.

According to the official police report, the 39-year-old Trumann resident regularly sleeps in the raw, and was fully nude when he woke up yesterday around 7:45 AM to discover his dog "had eaten one of his testicles."

The unidentified owner had rescued the "small, white, fluffy" stray just three weeks ago, and had yet to take it in for a checkup.

Sadly, the dog's first visit to a vet was to be euthanized.

The Arkansas Department of Health will test the dog's remains for rabies.

Meanwhile, adding insult to injury, the man was transported to St. Bernards Regional Medical Center to be treated.
http://gawker.com/paralyzed-man-wake...ticl-963044875
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Old 07-30-2013, 07:39 PM   #46
CrazyPhuD CrazyPhuD is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Iron Chief View Post
That guy has a lot of balls to share that story...sec

How the F@ck did this story not happen in Florida??
Those in FL only suck on balls they don't swallow them!
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Old 07-30-2013, 07:50 PM   #47
Ace Gunner Ace Gunner is offline
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Lorena Bobbitt trained this dog well
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Old 07-30-2013, 08:05 PM   #48
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzz_TinBalls View Post
Lorena Bobbitt trained this dog well
The man with tin balls rubs it in.

The odd thing is if the guy is paralyzed from the waste down how did he feel the pain?

Seems the dog cured his paralysis.
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Old 07-30-2013, 08:17 PM   #49
Count Alex's Losses Count Alex's Losses is online now
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That's what happens when you put too much peanut butter on it.
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Old 07-30-2013, 11:01 PM   #50
CrazyPhuD CrazyPhuD is offline
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Because this needs to be here.....



I wonder if the vet named the dog almond joy before he put him down....
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Old 07-31-2013, 12:28 AM   #51
big nasty kcnut big nasty kcnut is online now
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His ball got polished off.
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Old 07-31-2013, 12:44 AM   #52
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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****ing story is nuts.
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Old 07-31-2013, 01:12 AM   #53
Setsuna Setsuna is offline
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Is the guy black?
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Old 07-31-2013, 01:17 AM   #54
CrazyPhuD CrazyPhuD is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clayton Bibsby View Post
Is the guy black?
clearly not or the dog would have choked to death trying to swallow it.
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Old 07-31-2013, 01:29 AM   #55
Setsuna Setsuna is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyPhuD View Post
clearly not or the dog would have choked to death trying to swallow it.
Nice.

Alas the dog going "coo coo for cocoa nuts" won't ever be used. I am disappoint
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Old 07-31-2013, 01:59 AM   #56
DaneMcCloud DaneMcCloud is offline
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Sounds like that dog had a ball
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Old 07-31-2013, 02:21 AM   #57
CrazyPhuD CrazyPhuD is offline
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Why you don't pass out watching stand by me with your new dog....

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