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View Poll Results: Did you seek father's permission/blessing? | |||
Yes, it is a tradition I wanted to keep | 42 | 27.10% | |
Yes, it is a tradition I knew spouse's family wanted to keep | 19 | 12.26% | |
No | 78 | 50.32% | |
I've never proposed | 16 | 10.32% | |
Voters: 155. You may not vote on this poll |
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01-16-2013, 11:32 AM | #46 |
Supporter
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What if the father is a chief fan and thinks we should go OT with the first pick and give Castle another shot under a new coach?
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01-16-2013, 11:32 AM | #47 |
oxymoron
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Pretty sure I didn't.
Wouldn't now, either. Being nearly 40 myself. Course I haven't dated anybody for 10 years. Not likely to be something I gotta worry about. |
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01-16-2013, 11:34 AM | #48 |
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I did not. However, my first wife's father was estranged. I was with my current wife for 5 years before we were married so her father essentially told me it was time to marry her so we skipped right past the permission portion.
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01-16-2013, 11:36 AM | #49 |
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Most women get married when they are adults, why would an adult have to ask the wife's parent's for permission??
On that note marriage is a dying tradition in itself |
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01-16-2013, 11:36 AM | #50 | |
fides quaerens intellectum
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Quote:
I don't anticipate ever telling my daughter that the person she wants to marry should get my permission or blessing first. |
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01-16-2013, 11:37 AM | #51 |
fides quaerens intellectum
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01-16-2013, 11:38 AM | #52 |
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if you have a daughter do you expect your future son in law to ask you?
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01-16-2013, 11:40 AM | #53 | |
fides quaerens intellectum
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Quote:
Now it's morphed into a show of respect, but it doesn't seem that genuinely respectful or necessary to me. |
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01-16-2013, 11:41 AM | #54 | |
In Search of a Life
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Quote:
Much of the regret is because her brothers and mother have since given me shit for not asking his permission, specifically her mother. Since he's now dead, I have some regret that I didn't just ask him, especially because he and I were very close and got even closer after I married his daughter. It just would have been a "nice" thing to have done, I guess.
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01-16-2013, 11:42 AM | #55 |
fides quaerens intellectum
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I don't have a daughter right now, so my answer is a bit premature, but no, I wouldn't. I would expect my daughter to have the right goals and values in her life to make her own decision that would align with her happiness. And that's what I would be concerned about.
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01-16-2013, 11:47 AM | #56 |
Would an idiot do that?
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Seems like an outdated formality to me... like others have said, it's not the father's call, and what happens if he says no or if they aren't on good terms? I guess if everyone was on good terms and I knew the father fairly well, I might tell her parents and hope they're okay with it, but I don't see how it's disrespectful if someone doesn't ask first. Seeking their blessing at least seems reasonable... asking permission just sounds silly.
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01-16-2013, 11:49 AM | #57 |
fides quaerens intellectum
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"I'm seeking your blessing for the marriage. I'm also seeking $10,000. Weddings aren't free, newdad." That's the order of the course.
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01-16-2013, 11:49 AM | #58 | |
Rockin' yer FACE OFF!
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Quote:
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01-16-2013, 11:49 AM | #59 |
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"Generally it is a nice gesture, assuming your sweetheart is close with her parents and that they are relatively traditional. If they are non-traditional, or you are worried they (or she) might see it as a sexist gesture, simply be careful about the way you phrase it. Rather than asking for their permission, ask for their blessing. Situations where you shouldn't ask include if she is estranged from her parents, if she is an older bride, or if you think her parents will spoil the surprise of your proposal. "
I think we should just club them over the head drag them back to our places and they should be ours again like in the old days... |
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01-16-2013, 11:50 AM | #60 |
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I did because it's the respectable thing to do, and the last thing you want when you are going to spend the rest of your life with a woman, is for her father to think you don't respect him. I expect the same when my daughter is proposed to .
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