Life Married members: Did you seek permission/blessing? - Page 5

DonkyPuncher · 01-16-2013, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Literature

That's a good point. The tradition legally stems from the Tort of Seduction. A father could sue in civil court the person who married/took away the daughter, because the daughter (and wife and minor-sons) were basically property.

Now it's morphed into a show of respect, but it doesn't seem that genuinely respectful or necessary to me.

interesting, I did not know that first part

Jenson71 · 01-16-2013, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DonkyPuncher

interesting, I did not know that first part

I didn't either, until yesterday. I'd never even heard of the Tort of Seduction until then. It wasn't until 1874 that a state (Iowa) allowed a woman to sue her master on her own behalf. Her master (employer) had molested or raped her.

okoye35chiefs · 01-16-2013, 11:38 AM

if you have a daughter do you expect your future son in law to ask you?

Jenson71 · 01-16-2013, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by okoye35chiefs

if you have a daughter do you expect your future son in law to ask you?

I don't have a daughter right now, so my answer is a bit premature, but no, I wouldn't. I would expect my daughter to have the right goals and values in her life to make her own decision that would align with her happiness. And that's what I would be concerned about.

InChiefsHeaven · 01-16-2013, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Literature

I don't have a daughter right now, so my answer is a bit premature, but no, I wouldn't. I would expect my daughter to have the right goals and values in her life to make her own decision that would align with her happiness. And that's what I would be concerned about.

You have a long time to have your mind change. Growing up and having kids will do that to you. Never say never.

Jenson71 · 01-16-2013, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InChiefsHell

You have a long time to have your mind change. Growing up and having kids will do that to you. Never say never.

You have time to change your mind about it, too.

**The Franchise** · 01-16-2013, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by okoye35chiefs

if you have a daughter do you expect your future son in law to ask you?

I have three daughters and I haven't decided yet.

okoye35chiefs · 01-16-2013, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pestilence

I have three daughters and I haven't decided yet.

I have two and I guess it depends on the situation. Right now I would say I expect them to ask me for my blessing not for my permission

Dayze · 01-16-2013, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by okoye35chiefs

I have two and I guess it depends on the situation. Right now I would say I expect them to ask me for my blessing not for my permission

that.

Jenson71 · 01-16-2013, 11:49 AM

"I'm seeking your blessing for the marriage. I'm also seeking $10,000. Weddings aren't free, newdad." That's the order of the course.

okoye35chiefs · 01-16-2013, 11:49 AM

"Generally it is a nice gesture, assuming your sweetheart is close with her parents and that they are relatively traditional. If they are non-traditional, or you are worried they (or she) might see it as a sexist gesture, simply be careful about the way you phrase it. Rather than asking for their permission, ask for their blessing. Situations where you shouldn't ask include if she is estranged from her parents, if she is an older bride, or if you think her parents will spoil the surprise of your proposal. "

I think we should just club them over the head drag them back to our places and they should be ours again like in the old days...

tooge · 01-16-2013, 11:50 AM

I did because it's the respectable thing to do, and the last thing you want when you are going to spend the rest of your life with a woman, is for her father to think you don't respect him. I expect the same when my daughter is proposed to .

phisherman · 01-16-2013, 11:51 AM

I didn't, and I don't regret it at all. It didn't feel appropriate at the time. We had been together for 5+ years and I think that us getting married was a bit of a foregone conclusion.

Hydrae · 01-16-2013, 11:57 AM

Dad was already dead and mom loved me so, no worries on the permission front.

Dayze · 01-16-2013, 11:58 AM

I think it's a sign of respect that you love his daughter, and wnt to spend your life together with her. and in some ways, it's also asking/implying that you want to be a part of their family as well. At least, that's the way I read the Italian way.

I've since learned that her family is WAY big on family/respect. There are just some things that are pretty much a slap in the face if they were not done. They'll do anything for anyone in their family at a drop of a hat - immediate family, cousins, aunts etc.

I was married when I was 26 and she was 27. I asked both her mom and step-dad, as well as her dad.

View Poll Results: Did you seek father's permission/blessing?
Yes, it is a tradition I wanted to keep	42	27.10%
Yes, it is a tradition I knew spouse's family wanted to keep	19	12.26%
No	78	50.32%
I've never proposed	16	10.32%
Voters: 155. You may not vote on this poll

01-16-2013, 11:38 AM	#3
okoye35chiefs Starter Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Death Valley Casino cash: $10004900	if you have a daughter do you expect your future son in law to ask you?
Posts: 674

01-16-2013, 11:49 AM	#10
Jenson71 fides quaerens intellectum Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: United States Casino cash: $8330900	"I'm seeking your blessing for the marriage. I'm also seeking $10,000. Weddings aren't free, newdad." That's the order of the course.
Posts: 15,986

01-16-2013, 11:49 AM	#11
okoye35chiefs Starter Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Death Valley Casino cash: $10004900	"Generally it is a nice gesture, assuming your sweetheart is close with her parents and that they are relatively traditional. If they are non-traditional, or you are worried they (or she) might see it as a sexist gesture, simply be careful about the way you phrase it. Rather than asking for their permission, ask for their blessing. Situations where you shouldn't ask include if she is estranged from her parents, if she is an older bride, or if you think her parents will spoil the surprise of your proposal. " I think we should just club them over the head drag them back to our places and they should be ours again like in the old days...
Posts: 674

01-16-2013, 11:50 AM	#12
tooge MVP Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Liberty, MO Casino cash: $3744112	I did because it's the respectable thing to do, and the last thing you want when you are going to spend the rest of your life with a woman, is for her father to think you don't respect him. I expect the same when my daughter is proposed to .
Posts: 15,130

01-16-2013, 11:51 AM	#13
phisherman King Sandbagger Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: The Summit, MO Casino cash: $1355484	I didn't, and I don't regret it at all. It didn't feel appropriate at the time. We had been together for 5+ years and I think that us getting married was a bit of a foregone conclusion.
Posts: 3,825

01-16-2013, 11:57 AM	#14
Hydrae Sandbox: Leander Lasercats Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Austin, Tx Casino cash: $2067000	Dad was already dead and mom loved me so, no worries on the permission front.
Posts: 14,695

01-16-2013, 11:58 AM	#15
Dayze Resident Glue Sniffer Join Date: Nov 2003 Casino cash: $4959358	I think it's a sign of respect that you love his daughter, and wnt to spend your life together with her. and in some ways, it's also asking/implying that you want to be a part of their family as well. At least, that's the way I read the Italian way. I've since learned that her family is WAY big on family/respect. There are just some things that are pretty much a slap in the face if they were not done. They'll do anything for anyone in their family at a drop of a hat - immediate family, cousins, aunts etc. I was married when I was 26 and she was 27. I asked both her mom and step-dad, as well as her dad. __________________ Life is 99% inspiration, 1% Perspiration, and 1% Attention to Detial. RIP & Godspeed: Saccoppo Lonewolf Ed Fire Me Boy
Posts: 37,375