Poop CP's Roast of.....Hootie presented by rico - Page 8

patteeu · 06-10-2013, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico

Came home to this........?!?!?!

It's cool having a roast of Hootie and all, but does my damn name have to be in the thread title? Surrously.

I literally didn't feel any pressure until reading a few entries explaining why I should feel pressure and well....yeah, I'm a bit intimidated.

You are going to have to give me a little while. I just got home and promised the wife, "cuddle time." Not an excuse...I literally did promise her that. So possibly when she goes to bed.

I will generate something though. And I wish more people would participate. My name in the thread title sux teh pennnnis.

Quote:

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama

I'd like to address this thread:

A) Who wouldn't want to try a viagra? I heard they are amazing. Also, I wanted that site for ampicillin but they charged too much so I said **** it.

Speaking of viagra, rico seems to have some kind of poster's erectile dysfunction.

Simply Red · 06-10-2013, 10:04 PM

embrace yourself for inbound Phobia 'hootie roast'

rico · 06-10-2013, 08:46 PM

Oh stfu, you assholes. I wanted this to go down without being the only "singled out" freaking roaster...this whole thread = why.

And I have no reason to lie to you people. I promised cuddle time, man.

Hootie · 06-10-2013, 08:46 PM

feel free to link me to any story you believe I made up and I'll get it verified by one of my friends via Facebook

you guys keep saying you have all these great stories and all of these great roasts

yet I'm the only one roasting (WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT), and I'm the only one with entertaining stories

so ****ing do it and stop saying you can do it

it's not my fault that I'm creative/engaging/entertaining/****ed up in the head

**LoneWolf** · 06-10-2013, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama

feel free to link me to any story you believe I made up and I'll get it verified by one of my friends via Facebook

you guys keep saying you have all these great stories and all of these great roasts

yet I'm the only one roasting (WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT), and I'm the only one with entertaining stories

so ****ing do it and stop saying you can do it

it's not my fault that I'm creative/engaging/entertaining/****ed up in the head

I won't take the time to find the posts, but I don't believe you were with a girl who pissed in your bed "5 times a week" and I also don't believe any story where you've grabbed another guys junk to avoid getting beaten up.

Don't get me wrong, I hope these stories are true and my feelings aren't rooted in jealousy. I don't mean to call you an outright liar, but something in my gut tells me you're full of shit. Like I said earlier, I've been wrong before and if I'm wrong this time I will apologize for questioning your integrity.

Hootie · 06-10-2013, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoneWolf

I won't take the time to find the posts, but I don't believe you were with a girl who pissed in your bed "5 times a week" and I also don't believe any story where you've grabbed another guys junk to avoid getting beaten up.

Don't get me wrong, I hope these stories are true and my feelings aren't rooted in jealousy. I don't mean to call you an outright liar, but something in my gut tells me you're full of shit. Like I said earlier, I've been wrong before and if I'm wrong this time I will apologize for questioning your integrity.

this girl used to piss the bed when she was blacked out drunk every single time

one night, when our relationship was FIRST starting, I talked her into meeting me at the bar where my roommate was bartending...she did...he got us ****ED up...and she had to work at Panera at 6 AM

so her alarm went off at 5:15 AM...she had pissed the bed, of course...and I was like "god damnit" and I woke up...and I kept trying to wake her up...and finally I ****ing picked her up out of bed...and took her to the bathroom so she could get ready for work...

she was so out of it...she looked in the mirror for a second (I think she was still asleep, I'm not sure)...and then went right back to bed (I had to flip the mattress, of course!)...and I was like "wtf?" So I just gave up (it was 5:15) and went back to bed (this was her 2nd job at the time so I figured if she didn't care I didn't care)...

she woke up around 9 AM and was like "wtf why didn't you wake me up?!" and I was like...you've got to be ****ing kidding me

and she was fired

**LoneWolf** · 06-10-2013, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama

this girl used to piss the bed when she was blacked out drunk every single time

one night, when our relationship was FIRST starting, I talked her into meeting me at the bar where my roommate was bartending...she did...he got us ****ED up...and she had to work at Panera at 6 AM

so her alarm went off at 5:15 AM...she had pissed the bed, of course...and I was like "god damnit" and I woke up...and I kept trying to wake her up...and finally I ****ing picked her up out of bed...and took her to the bathroom so she could get ready for work...

she was so out of it...she looked in the mirror for a second (I think she was still asleep, I'm not sure)...and then went right back to bed (I had to flip the mattress, of course!)...and I was like "wtf?" So I just gave up (it was 5:15) and went back to bed (this was her 2nd job at the time so I figured if she didn't care I didn't care)...

she woke up around 9 AM and was like "wtf why didn't you wake me up?!" and I was like...you've got to be ****ing kidding me

and she was fired

Cool story. I love fiction.

Consistent1 · 06-10-2013, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoneWolf

Cool story. I love fiction.

That is easily believable though, come on. Most people that drink a ton have done at least a couple times usually. Admitting it is another story. Others just blackout and do it over and over.

06-10-2013, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama

(I had to flip the mattress, of course!)

I believe this part. That probably is your idea of cleaning it.

Hootie · 06-10-2013, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

I believe this part. That probably is your idea of cleaning it.

pretty much

besides drunk pee is like water anyways

and these are furnished apartments...so it's not like we bought/kept/cared about said mattress

Titty Meat · 06-10-2013, 08:51 PM

Hootie is 35?

Hootie · 06-10-2013, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bo's Pelini

Hootie is 35?

38

Titty Meat · 06-10-2013, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama

38

Forreal?

rico · 06-10-2013, 08:55 PM

Am I the ONLY one who remembers Hootie's rant on the Chiefsplanet facebook page last year?

There's no way he's 38.

And btw, if it weren't for the facebook rant, I'd be a bit more panicked right now.

**Donger** · 06-10-2013, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico

Am I the ONLY one who remembers Hootie's rant on the Chiefsplanet facebook page last year?

There's no way he's 38.

And btw, if it weren't for the facebook rant, I'd be a bit more panicked right now.

He's 28, which is moderately pathetic.

06-10-2013, 10:04 PM	#2
Simply Red You Sweetie! Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $2021206219 VARSITY	embrace yourself for inbound Phobia 'hootie roast'
Posts: 71,691

06-10-2013, 08:46 PM	#3
rico ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH! Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Da SEI Casino cash: $4384809	Oh stfu, you assholes. I wanted this to go down without being the only "singled out" freaking roaster...this whole thread = why. And I have no reason to lie to you people. I promised cuddle time, man.
Posts: 13,258

06-10-2013, 08:46 PM	#4
Hootie Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas, Texas Casino cash: $10004900	feel free to link me to any story you believe I made up and I'll get it verified by one of my friends via Facebook you guys keep saying you have all these great stories and all of these great roasts yet I'm the only one roasting (WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT), and I'm the only one with entertaining stories so **ing do it and stop saying you can do it it's not my fault that I'm creative/engaging/entertaining/**ed up in the head
Posts: 56,356

06-10-2013, 08:51 PM	#11
Titty Meat Inmem 2.0 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: My house Casino cash: $1777558	Hootie is 35?
Posts: 75,609

06-10-2013, 08:55 PM	#14
rico ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH! Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Da SEI Casino cash: $4384809	Am I the ONLY one who remembers Hootie's rant on the Chiefsplanet facebook page last year? There's no way he's 38. And btw, if it weren't for the facebook rant, I'd be a bit more panicked right now.
Posts: 13,258