Life Making it right.....The final chapter

Over-Head · 08:24 PM

Part 1

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=198054

Part 2
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?p=5282682#post5282682

Well, just got back about an hour ago.
The long and short of it, my folks loved meeting my wife, son, and mother in law.
Have things changed?
Sort of.
Dad’s position is "when are ya coming back son?"
I finally made my dad proud of me. Something I’ve tried to do for 41 years.
My last night there saw me re-contact my best friend from highschool after 18 years, and have a hell of a night walking down memory lane, with m y wife, both mom’s, and dad laughing their fool heads off.
I never saw it, but apparently when I was showing my Custom plaster work portfolio to my friend, my mother jabbed my wife in the ribs to look at my dad face.
"He was glowing with pride" my wife told me on the ride home.
I wish I had sen it, but just knowing makes me feel like I did finally make something out of my life my old man was proud of after all.
He adores my son, and I have a million pic’s of them
So if we both decide to brush every thing under the carpet, so be it.
He’s in pain, but the last MRI on his prostate cancer looked "good"

Mom is down to what I would term "her last birthday",
Cancer is in BOTH lungs, and most likely her bones as well.
they cancelled surgery next week to remove half her left lung, and suggested "she rely on her family while they try alternate methods"
but still clinging to her "borg brainwashing" although she tries to tell me different, her actions, and body language tell a different story. (Hell my better half and her mom even noticed it) the first day saw me ready to leave that night. I bit my tung and stuck it out.

Just after re-uniting with my buddy, I wanted to write a bit in my on line journal.
Man I should have just gone to bed.
Mom started, and I finished it.
I held back quite a bit, but I said what had to be said, not only so I could get it of my chest, but for her to understand that turning her back on me very nearly cost her any chance of meeting her grandson.
I was accused of not caring
I replied that I was siting in her living room AFTER my brother had taken a knife to my throat, been told by my old man "not to ever come back to the house", and her telling me "I was the family’s biggest disappointment and insult".
That pretty much ended it

She wanted to know why no one gave a damn
I said "simple, you’re a hypochondriac who has been dying for 25 years, everyone’s sick of hearing it. And those who aren’t you’ve pushed away because 12 men in NYC tell you, you have to."
I was told I was dead wrong .
But then again talk to any Jehovahs Witness and they’ll tell you their the only right ones anyway.

Even if 99.999% of the ****ers are the most hypocritical assholes who ever walked the face of the planet. (IMO)

My brother did show his cowered face, when the house was packed with company.
He tried his hard rock schtick, and just by chance my 35lb 2 year old son was acting up a bit.
So i reached down, grabbed him by the back of his Oshkosh coveralls, lifted him straight armed into my brothers face and didn’t let him go for a few mins. (6 according to my wife)
until my son gave him a kiss and hug the prick wouldn’t even respond to.

He mumbled something , gave a nsty look to my boy and said "kids hate me" then looked at me with a scowl on his face.

, I said with a voice of contempt on the verg of screaming "Don’t mind that fool son, his bark has always been worse than his bite, too bad he’s the only one who thinks he’s a tough guy."

I guess my "war face" must have worked , it was the first time he ever backed down from me, he started to say something,
I lowered my son to the floor,
he stopped,
turned his back,
lowered his head,
and walked away without saying another word to anyone and left.

I made a promise to my self.
He’s safe as long as BOTH my parents are still breathing. But as soon as they’re gone, I’m gonna beat that rotten prick to half an inch of his life.

All in all I give my "prodical son reunion a" 6 out of 10.
Give time my hatred of the Jehovah’s Witnesses changed to disgust.
After this week it’s turned to pitty

So many of them Have, Are, or Will die utterly alone with very few giving a ratts ass about them when it really matteres most.

To the others like my self on this board who come from families torn apart by that ****ing cult, I’m not recommending you eat crow and try to re-establish contact. No matter what they did or said to you.
I’m not saying not to either.
That’s for you to descide.

You know all to well EXACTLY WHY they did what they did it if YOU were the one who walked away.
If you’ve lost a family member "stolen away" by one of them, for christ sakes keep in touch and try to let them not fall prey to things they won’t understand until it’s to late.

I did what I thought was right for 2 people dying of cancer who needed something positive in their lives.

Seeing my 2 year old son for what could be a first and only time for one of them did just so.
The fact they re my parents was icing on the cake.

It’ll take a few more years to "forget" what they did to me. I freely admit that.
And no matter how many times my mother told me she regretted it, or that she loved me, the hurt I felt for 9 years is probably never going to go away.
That’s something no one but me can deal with.

But 2 day’s later I’m finding it eaiser to feel pitty for them over losing so much time with their son, and grandson, then to keep hating them, making myself bitter.
Bottom line, I ain’t my mountain size pile of shit sandwiches for 3 days so I could see my dad again.
We laughed, had a beer, watched 4 seasons of "Hogans Hero’s" his all time favorite show.
And I made him proud of me.
I’ll sleep good tonight knowing I did the right thing for me.

The End.

01-11-2009, 08:24 PM

Cool. That's all.

**DaFace** · 01-11-2009, 08:24 PM

Good to hear things went as well as could be expected man. I admire your courage in getting back in contact with them. Congrats.

kc rush · 01-11-2009, 08:33 PM

Glad you could reconcile a bit. Too bad your bro is still a prick.

You did the right thing.

teedubya · 01-11-2009, 08:36 PM

That is good to reconcile... congrats. No since holding grudges.

BigVE · 01-11-2009, 08:44 PM

Dang, sounds like you made some progress with them and yourself. Your still holding a ton of anger and resentment and that will damage nobody but yourself at this point. Let it go and move on for your sake and for your immediate family's sake. Good luck man, I'm sure that was not easy.

Delano · 01-11-2009, 09:19 PM

You beat your brother, dude. You won.

I'd hate to see you take the unnecessary extra step of kicking his ass and ending up in jail. That would not be fair to your son.

Ebolapox · 01-11-2009, 09:23 PM

damn, man, good stuff aside from your brother being a moron still apparently.

SLAG · 01-11-2009, 09:27 PM

I will pray a Te Deum in thanksgiving

And keep your Family in my prayers

Over-Head · 01-12-2009, 07:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Delano

You beat your brother, dude. You won.

I'd hate to see you take the unnecessary extra step of kicking his ass and ending up in jail. That would not be fair to your son.

Sending me to jail would require him "dealing with cops"
Ain't gonna happen. This I know for FACT, why is unimportant.
As for unessary, sorry dude. For me it IS necessary.

**Rausch** · 01-12-2009, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Over-Head

She wanted to know why no one gave a damn
I said "simple, you’re a hypochondriac who has been dying for 25 years, everyone’s sick of hearing it. And those who aren’t you’ve pushed away because 12 men in NYC tell you, you have to."
I was told I was dead wrong .

You might be.

Probably are.

But at least you were honest. It's always easier to lie or just shut up and not say how you feel.

Considering the situation I think you all deserve that much...

**Rausch** · 01-12-2009, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Over-Head

Sending me to jail would require him "dealing with cops"
Ain't gonna happen. This I know for FACT, why is unimportant.
As for unessary, sorry dude. For me it IS necessary.

You feel he robbed you of your dignity.

Ass-kickings don't get that back. Trust me.

How you act from here on out can though...

InChiefsHeaven · 01-12-2009, 08:22 AM

Man, this was a real compelling story. I can truly say I understand what you went through, and that you are still going through. Especially concerning your brother. I'd really like to suggest setting up some sessions with your priest for some spiritual guidance on this. Consider time with your priest, time in Eucharistic adoration, time with a Rosary. It's really helped me see things a lot more clearly. Maybe you can rid yourself of the resentment for your brother...even if you don't WANT to be rid of it.

Either way, good luck and God Bless.

kepp · 01-12-2009, 08:26 AM

Dude, you have a lot of GUTS. Maybe the best thing that will come out of this, which may not be realized for a while, is the example you set for your son...HUGE. Hats off to you.

seclark · 01-12-2009, 09:32 AM

oh,
you did what you felt you had to do, and you did it the best way you could.

you can't be responsible for the decisions they have made.

your real family is your wife and son...you're very lucky to have them.
sec

01-11-2009, 08:18 PM
Over-Head Boom, Boom , Crash Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In my shed Casino cash: $9995760	Making it right.....The final chapter Part 1 http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=198054 Part 2 http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?p=5282682#post5282682 Well, just got back about an hour ago. The long and short of it, my folks loved meeting my wife, son, and mother in law. Have things changed? Sort of. Dad’s position is "when are ya coming back son?" I finally made my dad proud of me. Something I’ve tried to do for 41 years. My last night there saw me re-contact my best friend from highschool after 18 years, and have a hell of a night walking down memory lane, with m y wife, both mom’s, and dad laughing their fool heads off. I never saw it, but apparently when I was showing my Custom plaster work portfolio to my friend, my mother jabbed my wife in the ribs to look at my dad face. "He was glowing with pride" my wife told me on the ride home. I wish I had sen it, but just knowing makes me feel like I did finally make something out of my life my old man was proud of after all. He adores my son, and I have a million pic’s of them So if we both decide to brush every thing under the carpet, so be it. He’s in pain, but the last MRI on his prostate cancer looked "good" Mom is down to what I would term "her last birthday", Cancer is in BOTH lungs, and most likely her bones as well. they cancelled surgery next week to remove half her left lung, and suggested "she rely on her family while they try alternate methods" but still clinging to her "borg brainwashing" although she tries to tell me different, her actions, and body language tell a different story. (Hell my better half and her mom even noticed it) the first day saw me ready to leave that night. I bit my tung and stuck it out. Just after re-uniting with my buddy, I wanted to write a bit in my on line journal. Man I should have just gone to bed. Mom started, and I finished it. I held back quite a bit, but I said what had to be said, not only so I could get it of my chest, but for her to understand that turning her back on me very nearly cost her any chance of meeting her grandson. I was accused of not caring I replied that I was siting in her living room AFTER my brother had taken a knife to my throat, been told by my old man "not to ever come back to the house", and her telling me "I was the family’s biggest disappointment and insult". That pretty much ended it She wanted to know why no one gave a damn I said "simple, you’re a hypochondriac who has been dying for 25 years, everyone’s sick of hearing it. And those who aren’t you’ve pushed away because 12 men in NYC tell you, you have to." I was told I was dead wrong . But then again talk to any Jehovahs Witness and they’ll tell you their the only right ones anyway. Even if 99.999% of the **ers are the most hypocritical assholes who ever walked the face of the planet. (IMO) My brother did show his cowered face, when the house was packed with company. He tried his hard rock schtick, and just by chance my 35lb 2 year old son was acting up a bit. So i reached down, grabbed him by the back of his Oshkosh coveralls, lifted him straight armed into my brothers face and didn’t let him go for a few mins. (6 according to my wife) until my son gave him a kiss and hug the prick wouldn’t even respond to. He mumbled something , gave a nsty look to my boy and said "kids hate me" then looked at me with a scowl on his face. , I said with a voice of contempt on the verg of screaming "Don’t mind that fool son, his bark has always been worse than his bite, too bad he’s the only one who thinks he’s a tough guy." I guess my "war face" must have worked , it was the first time he ever backed down from me, he started to say something, I lowered my son to the floor, he stopped, turned his back, lowered his head, and walked away without saying another word to anyone and left. I made a promise to my self. He’s safe as long as BOTH my parents are still breathing. But as soon as they’re gone, I’m gonna beat that rotten prick to half an inch of his life. All in all I give my "prodical son reunion a" 6 out of 10. Give time my hatred of the Jehovah’s Witnesses changed to disgust. After this week it’s turned to pitty So many of them Have, Are, or Will die utterly alone with very few giving a ratts ass about them when it really matteres most. To the others like my self on this board who come from families torn apart by that *ing cult, I’m not recommending you eat crow and try to re-establish contact. No matter what they did or said to you. I’m not saying not to either. That’s for you to descide. You know all to well EXACTLY WHY they did what they did it if YOU were the one who walked away. If you’ve lost a family member "stolen away" by one of them, for christ sakes keep in touch and try to let them not fall prey to things they won’t understand until it’s to late. I did what I thought was right for 2 people dying of cancer who needed something positive in their lives. Seeing my 2 year old son for what could be a first and only time for one of them did just so. The fact they re my parents was icing on the cake. It’ll take a few more years to "forget" what they did to me. I freely admit that. And no matter how many times my mother told me she regretted it, or that she loved me, the hurt I felt for 9 years is probably never going to go away. That’s something no one but me can deal with. But 2 day’s later I’m finding it eaiser to feel pitty for them over losing so much time with their son, and grandson, then to keep hating them, making myself bitter. Bottom line, I ain’t my mountain size pile of shit sandwiches for 3 days so I could see my dad again. We laughed, had a beer, watched 4 seasons of "Hogans Hero’s" his all time favorite show. And I made him proud of me. I’ll sleep good tonight knowing I did the right thing for me. The End. Last edited by Over-Head; 01-11-2009 at 08:24 PM..*
Posts: 12,040

01-11-2009, 08:24 PM	#2
Phobia Guest Casino cash: $	Cool. That's all.
Posts: n/a

01-11-2009, 08:24 PM	#3
DaFace Kind of a mod Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Donkey Land Casino cash: $1886899	Good to hear things went as well as could be expected man. I admire your courage in getting back in contact with them. Congrats.
Posts: 51,870

01-11-2009, 08:33 PM	#4
kc rush Blah Blah Blah Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: In front of the computer. Casino cash: $3979559	Glad you could reconcile a bit. Too bad your bro is still a prick. You did the right thing.
Posts: 12,556

01-11-2009, 08:36 PM	#5
teedubya Most Valuable Poster Join Date: Oct 2003 Casino cash: $9480002	That is good to reconcile... congrats. No since holding grudges.
Posts: 36,652

01-11-2009, 08:44 PM	#6
BigVE Veteran Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: centralKs Casino cash: $10005250	Dang, sounds like you made some progress with them and yourself. Your still holding a ton of anger and resentment and that will damage nobody but yourself at this point. Let it go and move on for your sake and for your immediate family's sake. Good luck man, I'm sure that was not easy. __________________ Meh.
Posts: 4,829

01-11-2009, 09:19 PM	#7
Delano [b]Supporter[/b] Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A Hypnagogic Landscape Casino cash: $9095015	You beat your brother, dude. You won. I'd hate to see you take the unnecessary extra step of kicking his ass and ending up in jail. That would not be fair to your son. __________________ A million CPilgrims face Mecca. Think of the power behind that fact. All logging in now. And bending. And praying. ChiefsPlanet is the angle at which realities meet. - Don DeLillo
Posts: 12,216

01-11-2009, 09:23 PM	#8
Ebolapox remember, remember Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: como Casino cash: $1949903	damn, man, good stuff aside from your brother being a moron still apparently.
Posts: 26,432

01-11-2009, 09:27 PM	#9
SLAG Superbowl MVP Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: OOOOOOOOOOOOOLATHE Casino cash: $9910252	I will pray a Te Deum in thanksgiving And keep your Family in my prayers __________________ Ad astra per aspera Last edited by SLAG; 01-11-2009 at 09:29 PM.. Reason: Longer than I thought sorry
Posts: 11,177

01-12-2009, 08:22 AM	#13
InChiefsHeaven Rockin' yer FACE OFF! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Omaha, Nebraska Casino cash: $3754937	Man, this was a real compelling story. I can truly say I understand what you went through, and that you are still going through. Especially concerning your brother. I'd really like to suggest setting up some sessions with your priest for some spiritual guidance on this. Consider time with your priest, time in Eucharistic adoration, time with a Rosary. It's really helped me see things a lot more clearly. Maybe you can rid yourself of the resentment for your brother...even if you don't WANT to be rid of it. Either way, good luck and God Bless. __________________ We have a million reasons for failure, but not one excuse... Die Donks, DIE!! Holy Crap fellas!!! We did it!!! THREE TIMES!!!
Posts: 25,751

01-12-2009, 08:26 AM	#14
kepp MVP Join Date: Aug 2005 Casino cash: $5299212	Dude, you have a lot of GUTS. Maybe the best thing that will come out of this, which may not be realized for a while, is the example you set for your son...HUGE. Hats off to you.
Posts: 14,496

01-12-2009, 09:32 AM	#15
seclark MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: nemo Casino cash: $1549900	oh, you did what you felt you had to do, and you did it the best way you could. you can't be responsible for the decisions they have made. your real family is your wife and son...you're very lucky to have them. sec __________________ "Mr. seclark. Wrong for gravy, wrong for jelly, wrong for biscuits." -rj "If every Planeteer who was disliked by another Planeteer stopped being a Planeteer we wouldn't have any Planeteers." -rj
Posts: 13,402