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Old 04-25-2011, 12:38 PM  
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Man Sent to Jail For Ejaculating In Co-Works Water Bottle
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http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nati..._in_cowor.html


A man convicted of ejaculating in a female co-worker's water bottle was sentenced to six months in jail and must register as a sex offender for life, a judge ruled.

Superior Court Judge Walter Schwarm also put Michael Kevin Lallana, of Fullerton, Calif., on probation for three years, The Orange County Register reported.

On two different occasions, the 32-year-old Lallana secretly ejaculated into the woman's water bottle, cops said.

Lallana and the woman were employees of Northwestern Mutual Financial Network, although they barely spoke to each other in four years of working together, the woman testified.

Asked for his motives, Lallana admitted to defiling his coworker's bottle as a form of sexual gratification.

"It was the closest I could ever get to someone as good looking as that without tampering with my marriage or hurting anyone," he told Orange County investigators.

The victim, a 29-year-old executive assistant identified only as Tiffany G., first began to suspect something was wrong earlier this year when she took a sip from the bottle a noticed a strange taste.

After the same thing happened a few months later, she took the bottle to a private lab, where scientists found semen in the water.

Police began an investigation, and Lallana eventually confessed. A subsequent DNA test confirmed his semen was in the woman's bottle.

During the trial, Lallana's lawyer argued that his client acted out of immaturity and not for sexual purposes. The judge wasn't buying it and and gave Lallana the max.

"I've spent many days crying and not sleeping," the woman testified. "I feel it was a form of rape. I hate seeing him. I hate him seeing me."

With News Wire Services



Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nati...#ixzz1KYshXYcC
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Old 04-25-2011, 02:34 PM   #46
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Old 04-25-2011, 02:36 PM   #47
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She kind of looks like James Earl Jones in Conan the Barbarian, when he begins to transform into the snake. Except whiter and more female-looking.



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Old 04-25-2011, 02:40 PM   #48
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She kind of looks like James Earl Jones in Conan the Barbarian, when he begins to transform into the snake. Except whiter and more female-looking.
He looks like he's related to tattoo.
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Old 04-25-2011, 02:44 PM   #49
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Yes.
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Old 04-25-2011, 03:12 PM   #50
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["I feel it was a form of rape. I hate seeing him. I hate him seeing me."
While what he did was obviously wrong, this statement is a little over the top IMO. Its not like shes the only woman a guy has ever fantasized about.
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Old 04-25-2011, 03:14 PM   #51
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While what he did was obviously wrong, this statement is a little over the top IMO. Its not like shes the only woman a guy has ever fantasized about.
While I agree with you in principle I have to say that the result of most peoples fantasizing isn't a salt shake.
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Old 04-25-2011, 03:46 PM   #52
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"It was the closest I could ever get to someone as good looking as that without tampering with my marriage or hurting anyone," he told Orange County investigators.
When they say "You have the right to remain silent" more people should take that seriously.
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Old 04-25-2011, 03:49 PM   #53
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In a late breaking development it turns out it was only sun tan lotion....
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Old 04-25-2011, 03:51 PM   #54
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In a late breaking development it turns out it was only sun tan lotion....
Heh. Yeah.
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Old 04-25-2011, 04:37 PM   #55
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I got into an argument with one of my brothers about a gal he was dating that wouldn't swallow. He was going to dump her for it. He is one of my stranger brothers, however.
Its criminal, i dont blame him one bit.
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Old 04-25-2011, 06:33 PM   #56
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While I agree with you in principle I have to say that the result of most peoples fantasizing isn't a salt shake.
Please....The only difference is...most guys salt shake occurs in private.
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Old 04-25-2011, 06:36 PM   #57
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Please....The only difference is...most guys salt shake occurs in private.
Okay, that's more accurate. Still, dumping it into her water bottle crosses some sort of line. He could have at least have given her an angry pirate.
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Old 04-25-2011, 10:01 PM   #58
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Okay, that's more accurate. Still, dumping it into her water bottle crosses some sort of line. He could have at least have given her an angry pirate.
Actually, he should have given her a pearl necklace as compensation.
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Old 04-25-2011, 10:49 PM   #59
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In related news

Lazar Greenfield's 'Semengate' Stuns Scientific Community

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Dr. Greenfield noted the therapeutic effects of semen, citing research from the Archives of Sexual Behavior which found that female college students practicing unprotected sex were less likely to suffer from depression than those whose partners used condoms (as well as those who remained abstinent).

Presumably it was the closing line that caused the controversy: "So there's a deeper bond between men and women than St. Valentine would have suspected, and now we know there's a better gift for that day than chocolates."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michae..._b_853164.html
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Old 04-25-2011, 11:04 PM   #60
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First he had to steal the bottle, slip off to the bathroom. I guess he would have to dump out the water? scratch that, I don't even... A whole lot had to happen
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