Dogma - Page 2

'Hamas' Jenkins · 03-24-2008, 10:44 PM

The wife and I were driving back from KC last night when we got on the topic of the poor career choices of Ben Affleck. Well that moved us to Dogma, one of his few watchable films. So when we got home, I popped it in--goddammit this movie is fucking hilarious. It's such a well done satire, kudos to Smith for the scorched earth policy surrounding the subject matter.

Deberg_1990 · 03-25-2008, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demonpenz

anything that allanis morrisate is in sucks sorry

She had a re-occuring role on the show "Nip/Tuck" a year or two ago. She played the lesbian lover of the doctors nurse.

She was actually pretty decent and she looked good.

Demonpenz · 03-25-2008, 11:34 AM

alanis morisette looks like anthony kedis

**Bowser** · 03-25-2008, 11:48 AM

Loki: The last four days on Earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do that next best thing.

Bartleby: What's that?

Loki: Let's kill people. [Lady next to Loki spits out her coffee]

Loki: [to lady] Oh, not you.

**Bowser** · 03-25-2008, 11:49 AM

I could go on all day on this movie.

Gun Salesman: We call this piece the Fecalator. One look at it and the target shits him or herself. Try it on.

Loki: Well, it's a lot more compact than the flaming sword, but it's not nearly as impressive. Just doesn't have that Wrath-of-the-Almighty edge to it. I mean, come on, how am I supposed to strike fear into the hearts of the wicked with this thing? Look at this...

Bartleby: Well, then, you know, don't use a gun. Just lay the place to waste, like.

Loki: Easy for you to say. You get off light in razing. You got to stand there and read at Sodom and Gomorrah, I had to do all the work.

Bartleby: What work did you do? You lit a few fires.

Loki: I rained down sulphur, man, there's a subtle difference.

Bartleby: Oh, yeah, I'm sure.

Loki: Hey, you know, **** you, man. Any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire. Raining down sulphur is like an endurance trial man. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, outside of soccer.

'Hamas' Jenkins · 03-25-2008, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

Loki: The last four days on Earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do that next best thing.

Bartleby: What's that?

Loki: Let's kill people. [Lady next to Loki spits out her coffee]

Loki: [to lady] Oh, not you.

A man after my own heart.

I also love "fuck you man, I rained sulfur. Any moron with a pack of matches can start a few fires, raining down sulfur is like an endurance test. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can partake in, next to soccer."

**Bowser** · 03-25-2008, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins

A man after my own heart.

I also love "fuck you man, I rained sulfur. Any moron with a pack of matches can start a few fires, raining down sulfur is like an endurance test. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can partake in, next to soccer."

Well played, sir.

**Bowser** · 03-25-2008, 12:13 PM

Speaking of Ben Affleck and his sputtering career, whatever happened to him playing Jack Ryan in Clancy's novel/movies? I thought Sum of All Fears was enjoyable, at the least. I'm suprised they never made the next one int he series.

bango · 03-25-2008, 04:31 PM

A great casting job, and even better acting, and one hell of a writing job. All around Dogma remains one of Kevin Smith's best movies.

Brock · 03-25-2008, 04:38 PM

Aflleck is always less annoying when he's paired with Damon or at least Jason Lee.

acesn8s · 03-25-2008, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

Speaking of Ben Affleck and his sputtering career, whatever happened to him playing Jack Ryan in Clancy's novel/movies? I thought Sum of All Fears was enjoyable, at the least. I'm suprised they never made the next one int he series.

He sucked ass compared to Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford.

**Fire Me Boy!** · 03-25-2008, 04:48 PM

I've seen every movie Kevin Smith has made, and Dogma is the only one I really like. Absolutely love Dogma.

**Fire Me Boy!** · 03-25-2008, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by acesn8s

He sucked ass compared to Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford.

Oddly, while I like Harrison Ford much more as an actor, I like Alec Baldwin as Jack Ryan better.

acesn8s · 03-25-2008, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock

Aflleck is always less annoying when he's paired with Damon or at least Jason Lee.

Mall Rats is pretty funny too.

**OnTheWarpath15** · 03-25-2008, 05:02 PM

The movie I watch when I need a laugh. One of my favorite lines, other than the "rainin sulfur" line that's been posted already:

Loki: The major sins never change. Besides, you know, I can spot a commandment-breaker from, like, a mile away. So, bet on it.

Bartleby: This from the guy who still owes me 10 bucks over that bet about what was gonna be the bigger movie - "E. T. " or "Krush Groove"?

Loki: You know, **** you, man, 'cause time's gonna tell on that one.

Or the scene in the Mooby Conference Room:

Bartleby: You are responsible for raising an icon which draws worship from the Lord. You have broken the first commandment. Not only that, I'm afraid not a one of you passes for a decent human being. Your continued existence is a mockery of morality. Like you, Mr. Burton. Last year cheated on your wife of 17 years 8 times. You even had sex with her best friend while you were supposed to be home watching the kids.

Loki: In the bed that you and your wife share, no less.

Bartleby: Mr. Newman - you got your girlfriend drunk at last year's Christmas party and then paid a kid from the mail room to have sex with her while she was passed out, just so you could break up with her guilt-free when she sobbingly confessed in the morning. She killed herself two months later. Mr. Brace disowned his gay son. Very compassionate, Mr. Brace. Mr. Ray put his mother in a third-rate nursing home and then used the profits from the sale of her home to buy an oriental rug for himself. Heavens. Mr. Barker flew to Thailand on the company account to have sex with an eleven year old boy.

Mr. Holtzman okayed the production of Mooby Dolls from materials he knew to be toxic and unsafe, because it was - survey says? - less costly.
[sees the female board member]

Bartleby: You, on the other hand, are an innocent. You lead a good life. Good for you. But you, Mr. Whitland, you have more skeletons in your closet than the rest of this assembled party. I cannot even mention them aloud.
[whispers something in Whitland's ear]

Loki: You're his father, you sick ****.

And the girl after:

[to the female board member]

Loki: You're a pure soul... but you didn't say "God bless you" when I sneezed.

[raises his gun to the female board member's head]

Bartleby: Loki!

Loki: [angrily] You're getting off light.

[as he leaves the board room]

Loki: You're so lucky.

03-24-2008, 10:44 PM
'Hamas' Jenkins Now you've pissed me off! Join Date: Jan 2006 Casino cash: $7149572	Dogma The wife and I were driving back from KC last night when we got on the topic of the poor career choices of Ben Affleck. Well that moved us to Dogma, one of his few watchable films. So when we got home, I popped it in--goddammit this movie is fucking hilarious. It's such a well done satire, kudos to Smith for the scorched earth policy surrounding the subject matter.
Posts: 75,083

03-25-2008, 11:34 AM	#17
Demonpenz Woman should only make babies Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $-373864	alanis morisette looks like anthony kedis __________________
Posts: 54,956

03-25-2008, 11:48 AM	#18
Bowser sorta mod-ish Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: KC North Casino cash: $-178384	Loki: The last four days on Earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do that next best thing. Bartleby: What's that? Loki: Let's kill people. [Lady next to Loki spits out her coffee] Loki: [to lady] Oh, not you.
Posts: 106,811

03-25-2008, 11:49 AM	#19
Bowser sorta mod-ish Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: KC North Casino cash: $-178384	I could go on all day on this movie. Gun Salesman: We call this piece the Fecalator. One look at it and the target shits him or herself. Try it on. Loki: Well, it's a lot more compact than the flaming sword, but it's not nearly as impressive. Just doesn't have that Wrath-of-the-Almighty edge to it. I mean, come on, how am I supposed to strike fear into the hearts of the wicked with this thing? Look at this... Bartleby: Well, then, you know, don't use a gun. Just lay the place to waste, like. Loki: Easy for you to say. You get off light in razing. You got to stand there and read at Sodom and Gomorrah, I had to do all the work. Bartleby: What work did you do? You lit a few fires. Loki: I rained down sulphur, man, there's a subtle difference. Bartleby: Oh, yeah, I'm sure. Loki: Hey, you know, **** you, man. Any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire. Raining down sulphur is like an endurance trial man. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, outside of soccer.
Posts: 106,811

03-25-2008, 12:13 PM	#22
Bowser sorta mod-ish Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: KC North Casino cash: $-178384	Speaking of Ben Affleck and his sputtering career, whatever happened to him playing Jack Ryan in Clancy's novel/movies? I thought Sum of All Fears was enjoyable, at the least. I'm suprised they never made the next one int he series.
Posts: 106,811

03-25-2008, 04:31 PM	#23
bango Spacecop Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: WCC Casino cash: $10004900	A great casting job, and even better acting, and one hell of a writing job. All around Dogma remains one of Kevin Smith's best movies. __________________ Would the Bigfoot be considered an endangered species?
Posts: 1,421

03-25-2008, 04:38 PM	#24
Brock Say hello to my little friend Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Larryville Casino cash: $9598422	Aflleck is always less annoying when he's paired with Damon or at least Jason Lee.
Posts: 47,314

03-25-2008, 04:48 PM	#26
Fire Me Boy! Cast Iron Jedi Join Date: Nov 2004 Casino cash: $9999900 VARSITY	I've seen every movie Kevin Smith has made, and Dogma is the only one I really like. Absolutely love Dogma.
Posts: 35,253

03-25-2008, 05:02 PM	#29
OnTheWarpath15 MVP Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $2061115	The movie I watch when I need a laugh. One of my favorite lines, other than the "rainin sulfur" line that's been posted already: Loki: The major sins never change. Besides, you know, I can spot a commandment-breaker from, like, a mile away. So, bet on it. Bartleby: This from the guy who still owes me 10 bucks over that bet about what was gonna be the bigger movie - "E. T. " or "Krush Groove"? Loki: You know, ** you, man, 'cause time's gonna tell on that one. Or the scene in the Mooby Conference Room: Bartleby: You are responsible for raising an icon which draws worship from the Lord. You have broken the first commandment. Not only that, I'm afraid not a one of you passes for a decent human being. Your continued existence is a mockery of morality. Like you, Mr. Burton. Last year cheated on your wife of 17 years 8 times. You even had sex with her best friend while you were supposed to be home watching the kids. Loki: In the bed that you and your wife share, no less. Bartleby: Mr. Newman - you got your girlfriend drunk at last year's Christmas party and then paid a kid from the mail room to have sex with her while she was passed out, just so you could break up with her guilt-free when she sobbingly confessed in the morning. She killed herself two months later. Mr. Brace disowned his gay son. Very compassionate, Mr. Brace. Mr. Ray put his mother in a third-rate nursing home and then used the profits from the sale of her home to buy an oriental rug for himself. Heavens. Mr. Barker flew to Thailand on the company account to have sex with an eleven year old boy. Mr. Holtzman okayed the production of Mooby Dolls from materials he knew to be toxic and unsafe, because it was - survey says? - less costly. [sees the female board member] Bartleby: You, on the other hand, are an innocent. You lead a good life. Good for you. But you, Mr. Whitland, you have more skeletons in your closet than the rest of this assembled party. I cannot even mention them aloud. [whispers something in Whitland's ear] Loki: You're his father, you sick **. And the girl after: [to the female board member] Loki: You're a pure soul... but you didn't say "God bless you" when I sneezed. [raises his gun to the female board member's head] Bartleby: Loki! Loki: [angrily] You're getting off light. [as he leaves the board room] Loki: You're so lucky.
Posts: 60,758