You've been tasked to train your replacement from India...

Braincase · 02-20-2006, 02:59 PM

... and you are going to sabotage his career. What are you going to teach him?

i.e. You know the company president loves to drive through the raked up leaves, but Sonjay doesn't know that. Teach Sonjay the importance of placing some old railroad tie cutoffs and the blown engine block from a '64 Pontiac under the leaves...

**Rain Man** · 02-20-2006, 03:00 PM

If a person gets fired, it is tradition to throw that person's spouse into a fire.

beavis · 02-20-2006, 03:11 PM

From my own experience in this exact situation... teach them nothing. The rest pretty much takes care of itself.

Hog's Gone Fishin · 02-20-2006, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beavis

From my own experience in this exact situation... teach them nothing. The rest pretty much takes care of itself.

Or better yet teach them to do your job exactly the way you did it.

That way you'll leave knowing they will soon be getting fired also.

Scaga · 02-20-2006, 03:27 PM

Tell them to end each phone conversation with the phrase:

"F_ck you very much"

MOhillbilly · 02-20-2006, 03:31 PM

Mujibar was trying to get into Canada legally through Immigration. The Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed most of the required tests, but there is one more compulsory test. Unless you pass it you cannot enter Canada."
Mujibar said, "I am ready."
The officer said, "Make a sentence using the words
Yellow, Pink and Green."

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister
Officer, I am ready." The Officer said, "Go ahead."

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green,
and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar'."

Mujibar now lives in a neighborhood near you, and works at Microsoft tech support desk.

SBK · 02-20-2006, 03:31 PM

First off, I would never touch this persons left hand.

Calcountry · 02-20-2006, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shortbuskid

First off, I would never touch this persons left hand.

rep

**Saulbadguy** · 02-20-2006, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shortbuskid

First off, I would never touch this persons left hand.

greg63 · 02-20-2006, 03:48 PM

Teach him that the boss shares his wife with all new employees.

**Rain Man** · 02-20-2006, 04:09 PM

Ritual bathing in the company fountain is fine.

02-20-2006, 04:20 PM

how about you sack up and handle it like a man instead of a sissy crybaby?

kcfanXIII · 02-20-2006, 04:25 PM

be really really nice to him. but when he's not looking slather everything he ownes in bacon grease, sneak ham into his food, and use his turbin to soak up the grease off your peporoni, ham, and sausage pizza.

Pitt Gorilla · 02-20-2006, 05:14 PM

The free market is the answer. All your base are belong to us.

kepp · 02-20-2006, 05:28 PM

You know, I actually had a cold-call by a rep from an Indian programming company-

"Heddo sir. I bedieve ju ah da person to talk to aboot moving some of jor company's job offshore...am I cowect?"
"Well, since I'm a programmer, what do you think?"

As for training my replacement...meh, don't think I'd do it. I'd just cut my losses and move on.

02-20-2006, 02:59 PM	Topic Starter
Braincase Banned Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Pond> Me <Barn Casino cash: $11298284	You've been tasked to train your replacement from India... ... and you are going to sabotage his career. What are you going to teach him? i.e. You know the company president loves to drive through the raked up leaves, but Sonjay doesn't know that. Teach Sonjay the importance of placing some old railroad tie cutoffs and the blown engine block from a '64 Pontiac under the leaves...
Posts: 15,429

02-20-2006, 03:00 PM	#2
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-712449 VARSITY	If a person gets fired, it is tradition to throw that person's spouse into a fire. __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,540

02-20-2006, 03:11 PM	#3
beavis Free Born Man of the USA Join Date: May 2003 Casino cash: $9954900	From my own experience in this exact situation... teach them nothing. The rest pretty much takes care of itself.
Posts: 7,588

02-20-2006, 03:27 PM	#5
Scaga Pissed off now Joboo Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: On my wife's $hitlist Casino cash: $1121665	Tell them to end each phone conversation with the phrase: "F_ck you very much" __________________ Bluto: Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the f_cking Peace Corps
Posts: 3,401

02-20-2006, 03:31 PM	#6
MOhillbilly Mama Tried Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Missouri Casino cash: $9949903	Mujibar was trying to get into Canada legally through Immigration. The Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed most of the required tests, but there is one more compulsory test. Unless you pass it you cannot enter Canada." Mujibar said, "I am ready." The officer said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green." Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Officer, I am ready." The Officer said, "Go ahead." Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar'." Mujibar now lives in a neighborhood near you, and works at Microsoft tech support desk. __________________ True Son of Liberty
Posts: 23,371

02-20-2006, 03:31 PM	#7
SBK Curry is the pick??? Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Georgia Casino cash: $10004900	First off, I would never touch this persons left hand.
Posts: 8,153

02-20-2006, 03:48 PM	#10
greg63 Homer go crazy!!! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: SE Kansas Casino cash: $6383990	Teach him that the boss shares his wife with all new employees. __________________
Posts: 19,387

02-20-2006, 04:09 PM	#11
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-712449 VARSITY	Ritual bathing in the company fountain is fine. __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,540

02-20-2006, 04:20 PM	#12
skye22f Guest Casino cash: $	how about you sack up and handle it like a man instead of a sissy crybaby?
Posts: n/a

02-20-2006, 04:25 PM	#13
kcfanXIII Ride on! Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Galaxy far far away Casino cash: $10013172	be really really nice to him. but when he's not looking slather everything he ownes in bacon grease, sneak ham into his food, and use his turbin to soak up the grease off your peporoni, ham, and sausage pizza. __________________ Faster, faster, until the thrill of speed, overcomes the fear of death.
Posts: 5,470

02-20-2006, 05:14 PM	#14
Pitt Gorilla Banned! Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: NOT Columbia, MO 65201 Casino cash: $-149806	The free market is the answer. All your base are belong to us. __________________ Your son is a bench warmer because of your weak genetics not because of the coach Norlin Mommsen is disgusting.
Posts: 47,384

02-20-2006, 05:28 PM	#15
kepp MVP Join Date: Aug 2005 Casino cash: $3459212	You know, I actually had a cold-call by a rep from an Indian programming company- "Heddo sir. I bedieve ju ah da person to talk to aboot moving some of jor company's job offshore...am I cowect?" "Well, since I'm a programmer, what do you think?" As for training my replacement...meh, don't think I'd do it. I'd just cut my losses and move on.
Posts: 14,746