Does anybobdy know where my penis is?

Psyko Tek · 05-05-2005, 06:10 PM

somebody had to do it

And I am that kind of somebody

siberian khatru · 05-05-2005, 06:26 PM

ArrowheadWolf could probably help you find it.

**Skip Towne** · 05-05-2005, 06:31 PM

Have you looked in Gochiefs mouth?

**Bwana** · 05-05-2005, 06:39 PM

I think the camera shot of you may explain where to start looking. You must of had one hell of a night!

Calcountry · 05-05-2005, 06:44 PM

How does that song go?

Bring back, bring back, O please bring back my ***** to me ee E , Bring back, bring back, Oh please bring back my .....

Psyko Tek · 05-05-2005, 07:06 PM

jebus that was uncalled for

chiefs4me · 05-05-2005, 07:53 PM

Boozer · 05-05-2005, 08:13 PM

**Bowser** · 05-05-2005, 08:23 PM

Is that you in the picture?

Ultra Peanut · 05-05-2005, 08:40 PM

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

keg in kc · 05-05-2005, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psicosis

Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

I think that line speaks for itself.

**ShortRoundChief** · 05-06-2005, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by keg in kc

I think that line speaks for itself.

This is so incredibly funny, yet so damn wrong.

LaChapelle · 06-25-2009, 09:37 PM

'Missing' penis sparks mob lynching

You’ve got to love Africa.

At least the parts of Africa that are backwards. There is no other place on the earth like here.

Where else in the world do you have so many people that unquestionably believe in the power of magic, and likewise, where else can you find people so eager to riot over it?

I’m talking about the pointless application of magic here.

Only in Africa will someone cast a spell on someone and to make their victim’s penis disappear.

And what exactly is the point of that one?

And only in Africa would an angry mob believe that there is a wizard casting these kind of spells in the village and that he would be in town posing as a visiting evangelist.

But people get burned alive for shit like that over there over things just like this.

Just recently in south Nigeria, police patrols had to be stepped up as at least 12 people had been burned alive for being accused of making men’s penises disappear into thin air.

"I’m guessing that when Sauron was learning how to become a dark lord, making genitalia disappear was not a spell that he spent much time on to beef up his repertoire."

"While the sect members were on a house-to-house preaching mission, someone raised an alarm that his penis had disappeared. An angry mob descended on the visiting evangelists and burnt eight of them to death." ... "The lucky ones include a woman who was rescued after a mob put a tyre around her neck and was about to set her ablaze."
Two buses and a car were also burned.

What I want to know, is before these people just pick up and start mobbing, turning over cars and buses and burning people alive, does anyone actually confirm that a penis is gone or do they just take the guys word for it?
The Osun state police commissioner Ganiu Dawodu, claims that these mob killings started two weeks ago and has swept though six main towns in the Nigeria including the university town of Ife and the state capital of Osogbo.
Only going to show that having education and money does not make you immune to having a witch burning mob show up outside your door, at least not in Africa.

The Osun state police commissioner said that they arrested the man who claimed that his dick had vanished and he still had his dick at the time of his arrest.

The situation had gotten so serious that the police and the state governor had to go on local television and radio appealing to the public not to take the law into their own hands in the event of someone’s penis turning up missing.
”If someone’s dick disappears to report it to the local authorities and let them take care of it.”

I’m guessing that when Sauron was learning how to become a dark lord, making genitalia disappear was not a spell that he spent much time on to beef up his repertoire. Something tells me that Sith Lords practice tossing lighting bolts from their fingertips a hell of a lot more often than they do making people’s balls crawl back up into their stomachs.

In short, even if someone is casting penis disappearing spells on people in Nigeria, which, for those of you that this means something to, I could not find said spell in the Gary Gygax Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Player’s Handbook, which makes me question if this spell even exist, having a wall of fire spell or a mass charm spell under their sleeve to deal with the angry mob wouldn’t be such a bad idea to have just in case the guy who’s penis you banished to some other dimension gets some of his friends together and they come looking for you.

Just a suggestion.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ultra Peanut · 06-25-2009, 09:39 PM

ahahahahaha

oh god damn

that ****ing song

JD10367 · 06-25-2009, 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaChapelle

Only in Africa will someone cast a spell on someone and to make their victim’s penis disappear.

Not true. Rosie O'Donnell makes my penis disappear whenever I see her on television.

05-05-2005, 06:10 PM
Psyko Tek special teams Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Mesa AZ Casino cash: $10015665	Does anybobdy know where Jason White signed? somebody had to do it And I am that kind of somebody
Posts: 12,018

05-05-2005, 06:26 PM	#2
siberian khatru 21st Century Schizoid Fan Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Gates of Delirium Casino cash: $-1355050	ArrowheadWolf could probably help you find it.
Posts: 71,917

05-05-2005, 06:31 PM	#3
Skip Towne Supporter Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: T-Town Casino cash: $10004900	Have you looked in Gochiefs mouth?
Posts: 69,689

05-05-2005, 06:44 PM	#5
Calcountry Shoot the tube Join Date: Oct 2003 Casino cash: $7527870	How does that song go? Bring back, bring back, O please bring back my ***** to me ee E , Bring back, bring back, Oh please bring back my .....
Posts: 29,488

05-05-2005, 07:06 PM	#6
Psyko Tek special teams Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Mesa AZ Casino cash: $10015665	jebus that was uncalled for __________________ Psyko Tek The keyboard has been drinking,
Posts: 12,018

05-05-2005, 07:53 PM	#7
chiefs4me Whatever.. Join Date: Sep 2004 Casino cash: $10004900
Posts: 9,512

05-05-2005, 08:13 PM	#8
Boozer Pain Cake Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Lawrence, KS Casino cash: $10004900	__________________
Posts: 10,170

05-05-2005, 08:23 PM	#9
Bowser sorta mod-ish Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: KC North Casino cash: $-198384	Is that you in the picture? Attached Thumbnails
Posts: 106,856

05-05-2005, 08:40 PM	#10
Ultra Peanut v^V^v^V^v^V^ Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Holland* Casino cash: $10005177	I woke up this morning with a bad hangover And my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out, when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it. So I called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes But not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast. Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to buy it off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis. __________________
Posts: 39,518

06-25-2009, 09:37 PM	#13
LaChapelle Banned Join Date: Mar 2009 Casino cash: $10004900	'Missing' penis sparks mob lynching You’ve got to love Africa. At least the parts of Africa that are backwards. There is no other place on the earth like here. Where else in the world do you have so many people that unquestionably believe in the power of magic, and likewise, where else can you find people so eager to riot over it? I’m talking about the pointless application of magic here. Only in Africa will someone cast a spell on someone and to make their victim’s penis disappear. And what exactly is the point of that one? And only in Africa would an angry mob believe that there is a wizard casting these kind of spells in the village and that he would be in town posing as a visiting evangelist. But people get burned alive for shit like that over there over things just like this. Just recently in south Nigeria, police patrols had to be stepped up as at least 12 people had been burned alive for being accused of making men’s penises disappear into thin air. "I’m guessing that when Sauron was learning how to become a dark lord, making genitalia disappear was not a spell that he spent much time on to beef up his repertoire." "While the sect members were on a house-to-house preaching mission, someone raised an alarm that his penis had disappeared. An angry mob descended on the visiting evangelists and burnt eight of them to death." ... "The lucky ones include a woman who was rescued after a mob put a tyre around her neck and was about to set her ablaze." Two buses and a car were also burned. What I want to know, is before these people just pick up and start mobbing, turning over cars and buses and burning people alive, does anyone actually confirm that a penis is gone or do they just take the guys word for it? The Osun state police commissioner Ganiu Dawodu, claims that these mob killings started two weeks ago and has swept though six main towns in the Nigeria including the university town of Ife and the state capital of Osogbo. Only going to show that having education and money does not make you immune to having a witch burning mob show up outside your door, at least not in Africa. The Osun state police commissioner said that they arrested the man who claimed that his dick had vanished and he still had his dick at the time of his arrest. The situation had gotten so serious that the police and the state governor had to go on local television and radio appealing to the public not to take the law into their own hands in the event of someone’s penis turning up missing. ”If someone’s dick disappears to report it to the local authorities and let them take care of it.” I’m guessing that when Sauron was learning how to become a dark lord, making genitalia disappear was not a spell that he spent much time on to beef up his repertoire. Something tells me that Sith Lords practice tossing lighting bolts from their fingertips a hell of a lot more often than they do making people’s balls crawl back up into their stomachs. In short, even if someone is casting penis disappearing spells on people in Nigeria, which, for those of you that this means something to, I could not find said spell in the Gary Gygax Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Player’s Handbook, which makes me question if this spell even exist, having a wall of fire spell or a mass charm spell under their sleeve to deal with the angry mob wouldn’t be such a bad idea to have just in case the guy who’s penis you banished to some other dimension gets some of his friends together and they come looking for you. Just a suggestion. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posts: 8,588

06-25-2009, 09:39 PM	#14
Ultra Peanut v^V^v^V^v^V^ Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Holland* Casino cash: $10005177	ahahahahaha oh god damn that ****ing song __________________
Posts: 39,518