Does anybobdy know where my penis is?

[LaChapelle]

'Missing' penis sparks mob lynching

You’ve got to love Africa.

At least the parts of Africa that are backwards. There is no other place on the earth like here.

Where else in the world do you have so many people that unquestionably believe in the power of magic, and likewise, where else can you find people so eager to riot over it?

I’m talking about the pointless application of magic here.

Only in Africa will someone cast a spell on someone and to make their victim’s penis disappear.

And what exactly is the point of that one?

And only in Africa would an angry mob believe that there is a wizard casting these kind of spells in the village and that he would be in town posing as a visiting evangelist.

But people get burned alive for shit like that over there over things just like this.

Just recently in south Nigeria, police patrols had to be stepped up as at least 12 people had been burned alive for being accused of making men’s penises disappear into thin air.

"I’m guessing that when Sauron was learning how to become a dark lord, making genitalia disappear was not a spell that he spent much time on to beef up his repertoire."

"While the sect members were on a house-to-house preaching mission, someone raised an alarm that his penis had disappeared. An angry mob descended on the visiting evangelists and burnt eight of them to death." ... "The lucky ones include a woman who was rescued after a mob put a tyre around her neck and was about to set her ablaze."
Two buses and a car were also burned.

What I want to know, is before these people just pick up and start mobbing, turning over cars and buses and burning people alive, does anyone actually confirm that a penis is gone or do they just take the guys word for it?
The Osun state police commissioner Ganiu Dawodu, claims that these mob killings started two weeks ago and has swept though six main towns in the Nigeria including the university town of Ife and the state capital of Osogbo.
Only going to show that having education and money does not make you immune to having a witch burning mob show up outside your door, at least not in Africa.

The Osun state police commissioner said that they arrested the man who claimed that his dick had vanished and he still had his dick at the time of his arrest.

The situation had gotten so serious that the police and the state governor had to go on local television and radio appealing to the public not to take the law into their own hands in the event of someone’s penis turning up missing.
”If someone’s dick disappears to report it to the local authorities and let them take care of it.”

I’m guessing that when Sauron was learning how to become a dark lord, making genitalia disappear was not a spell that he spent much time on to beef up his repertoire. Something tells me that Sith Lords practice tossing lighting bolts from their fingertips a hell of a lot more often than they do making people’s balls crawl back up into their stomachs.

In short, even if someone is casting penis disappearing spells on people in Nigeria, which, for those of you that this means something to, I could not find said spell in the Gary Gygax Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Player’s Handbook, which makes me question if this spell even exist, having a wall of fire spell or a mass charm spell under their sleeve to deal with the angry mob wouldn’t be such a bad idea to have just in case the guy who’s penis you banished to some other dimension gets some of his friends together and they come looking for you.

Just a suggestion.
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