FAX And The Crazy Data Center Man

[FAX]

I know it's unusual for me to start a wacky thread. But two wacky threads in one week? Unthinkable.

But, you know, it's been a strange week chock full of strange occurrences including the one I am about to relate. Plus, this sad tale concludes with a serious question, so there really is an actual point to this. Okay ... let's see ... okay ... here we go ...

I own a business that requires a simple, small web server which I have had hosted at a locally-owned data center for the last couple of years. The monthly fee is $350 for pipe, services, etc. which I pay via credit card. I have provided the owner with an authorization form and he merely charges the card each month like clockwork.

Well, Monday the server went down. I became aware of this immediately because we subscribe to a service that monitors our site. So, I call the hosting company and speak with the cute, blond receptionist person. She informs me that the credit card had expired so I give her the new expiration date and thank her in advance for her assistance in getting the site back up.

(I don't know about you guys, but I don't monitor the expiration dates on my cards. Actually, I only know about it when I receive a replacement card from the bank. Perhaps I should be more attentive. Anyhow ...)

Now, had it been me facing a situation like this, I (them) would merely have called the customer (me), informed the customer (me) about the card, and requested either an updated expiration date or new card number. Simple. Instead, they (them) shut us (us) down without so much as a howdy do or a kiss my ass. But that's not all ... oh, no ...

Approximately 30 minutes later, I receive a call from the owner of the data center. He is literally shouting, ranting, raving, and (no doubt) drooling over the phone. He says stuff like; "I have to pay my bills on time." and "It's up to you to take care of these payments." and "I'm not responsible for your credit card." and "You need to send over a new authorization form." and things of that nature. I calmly and quietly suggest that he's exhibiting a 5 pound response to a 2 ounce problem since all he needs is the new expiration date. He says, "No. I need a new authorization form and I'm not turning you back on until I have it." So, he emails a new form, I fill it out, and fax it back to him. Strange deal, but maybe he's having a bad day. I move on.

But, later that evening, the cute, blond receptionist person calls me from her apartment. She apologizes for her boss's behavior and says she's leaving the company because he's so abusive and unpredictable. I express concern for her well-being and offer to give her a reference or two. At that point she tells me that her boss has gone bankrupt three (count 'em, 3) times and is currently being sued by numerous creditors. She also explains that a previous down time was caused because the leasing company that "owns" their router had barged unannounced into their office to pick it up one day and he had hidden the router from them causing the interruption in service. Apparently, in his last bankruptcy petition, he had failed to list all his assets (I didn't know you could do that).

"Oh my God in Heaven", says I. I then thank her most sincerely for the information, compliment her on her clothes, and phone the owner the following morning. I tell him that I wish to pay him a pro-rated amount for services to date and pick up my server. He tells me that they "don't pro-rate" and that I have to give him 30 days notice on top of that. I then suggest that he can screw himself with his wife's lover's brand new ratchet set over the 30 days notice and that I would present myself at his office at 2:00 pm to pick up the server.

So, at 2:00, I arrive at his office with an associate who happens to be able to bench press 400 pounds. I ring the bell and he comes out to the hallway to inform us that we can't go inside because he's hosting "Homeland Security" and that I need to come back at 4:00 because they're real damn busy right now.

I call the cops and show back up at 4:00 with my burly associate and a uniformed Nashville Police Officer. The officer rings the bell and requests to see the owner via the intercom. Over the intercom, the owner asks, "Do you have a warrant?" The officer says, "No" and the owner replies, "Then you can't come in. Homeland Security won't allow it." I then take my turn speaking with the owner via his fabulous intercom thing and inform him that I have come with cash and need to leave with my server. He says, "Put the money through the mail slot and I'll get your server." I stuff $350 bucks cash through the mail slot and, a few minutes later, a young tech opens the door to present me with my server and a receipt.

As we're leaving, the officer says, "Where did you find that guy? I'm sure we'll be back here at some point but, by the way, if you're working with Homeland Security, you can't tell people you're working with Homeland Security."

So, my question to you guys is this ... is that true? I can't imagine this dumbass whack job working for Homeland Security in the first place as I'm sure he couldn't pass the vetting process. But is it true that, if you're working with Homeland Security, you aren't allowed to tell people that you are?

FAX

Disclaimers: Sorry if repost.