Life Who would you rather lose your virginity to? - Page 46

Mecca · 03-07-2009, 01:59 AM

I think he should find a nice girl who cries on speed bumps.

greg63 · 03-07-2009, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mecca

I think he should find a nice girl who cries on speed bumps.

Whatever reduces the risk of carpel tunnel.

**ShortRoundChief** · 03-07-2009, 02:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mecca

You know I put my picture in a celeb look alike thing and it said I looked like Johnny Depp as captain Jack Sparrow.

Did you pay for this? Get your money back tonight.

Valiant · 03-07-2009, 04:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claythan

It's not like it's a done deal....i might not like them in person, they might not like me who knows?

Hey first rationally correct thought you posted so far in this thread..

When you get smart enough to quit coming to the forums for advice on sex stuff then you will be learning and finally closer to becoming a normal man..

**Rausch** · 03-07-2009, 04:25 AM

Life is like a buffet: try and get a little taste of everything before you push back from the table and walk away...

Pioli Zombie · 03-07-2009, 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claythan

OK, so I leave to go meet my mexi-milf at, IRONICALLY, a mexican restaurant. She wants a margarita. Whatever. I want her tits.

So I'm driving out there and pissing around at the grocery store next door waiting for her. I get a text and she's getting cold feet. Tells me this feels out-of-character for her.

I offer to just swing by her house for a drink if she feels more comfortable with that. She was like LOL no I am not letting some stranger from the internet in my house. Whatever. I ask her if she wants to call it off today and she says yes.

So, when the going gets tough, the nerds go to the movies. I went to go see Watchmen, alone LOL, and it was, like I said, AWESOME! Lots of cool stuff, lots of glowing blue penis shots, and hey, I even got to see some tits and ass, so it was almost like getting laid.

Of course, in a rather amusing turn of events, right before the movie started, she complained that she was all alone in a text. WTF? YOU JUST STOOD ME UP! WHAT ARE YOU WHINING ABOUT, WOMAN? Then she sent me a picture of her cleavage. Woohoo, thankyou. What are you trying to do, give me blueballs?

Then I'm driving home from the movie, checking my messages, and she sent me one saying she was there at 3:07 (note that the movie started at 3:30 and she exchanged a text message with me right BEFORE the movie) and it was "my loss."

WTF? She went ANYWAY? WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME EARLIER?

So basically, WOMEN. WTF MATE?

But yeah, the movie was AWESOME!

This one is a classic. She'll play with your head because it gives her the feeling of control but she'll never give out. Tell her to screw herself.
Posted via Mobile Device

Katipan · 03-07-2009, 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by keg in kc

They all look like Heidi Klum in the dark.

I've tried moaning in an Austrian accent. Sounds like a cat.

Quote:

Originally Posted by keg in kc

Play your cards right, luv, and you too could kneel towards mecca 5 times a day.

haahahahahahah

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts

Katipan is the best option, but he's already said he's racist against asians. They're dim sum is slanted or some such.

Thats a benefit. I bet its the round faces and no eyelids.

Quote:

Originally Posted by keg in kc

Mer would be counter-production. He'd end up ****ed all the way into a monastery high in the himalayas, curled into a tight fetal ball, sobbing uncontrollably.

He'd be one disciplined sore happy man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mecca

You know I put my picture in a celeb look alike thing and it said I looked like Johnny Depp as captain Jack Sparrow.

hmmm. "Welcome to the Caribbean" "Savvy, love?" Makes me wiggle in my seat every time I watch it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeezNutz

Women don't have a "type." That's how you see that ****ing supermodel married to Seal. Yeah, that's her type. Sure...

My guess is that he unfolds a 10 inch cock, and *that's* her type.

She says she saw him walk across the room wearing nothing but bicycle shorts and fell in love... I'm sure she's found many reasons to stay with him. They look like a Will / Jada Smith kind of couple. But I bet it was the 10 lb summer sausage hiding in his shorts that got her.

whoman69 · 03-07-2009, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claythan

It's not like it's a done deal....i might not like them in person, they might not like me who knows?

You sound like the fatasses at work who whine about how they can't go to the gym. You are the sexual equivelent of a fatass.

**Skip Towne** · 03-07-2009, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Delano

Yeah. She is gorgeous. I'm not sure how she hooked up with the fat douchebag of a husband though.

Is she pure Mexican? I think she has freckles and that seems un-Mexican.

I can't find any good pics of Veronica either but if anyone wants to see her she is on A&E in about 20 minutes (10 AM)

The Buddha · 03-07-2009, 11:56 AM

Don't feel bad Claythan. The girl at my work who's been messing with me (or trying to), told me last night she she wants to make out with me really bad, and that I make her panties wet. And yet, she has a new bf... :?

Stay away from trying to figure out women. I've just been doing this for about a week now, but I'm stopping trying. LIke when she said she wanted to make out with me, I just said, "I know." fuck all this playing along and games and stuff.

When she pulls all that drama crap, just do what you did. Tell her its no big deal, and that you just made other plans. Stop chasing, and just enjoy life.

88TG88 · 03-07-2009, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy

Did you pay for this? Get your money back tonight.

Hammock Parties · 03-07-2009, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pioli Zombie

This one is a classic. She'll play with your head because it gives her the feeling of control but she'll never give out. Tell her to screw herself.
Posted via Mobile Device

I'm not playing her game. If she wants the dick, she knows how to get in touch.

easymobee · 03-07-2009, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claythan

I'm not playing her game. If she wants the dick, she knows how to get in touch.

If you listen real closely, you can hear another layer of dust settling down and adding to an already hefty 28 yr accumilation on a certain chronically unused and neglected appendage.

You've found a couple of craigslist style girls from the no strings attached section online, and you are still having a harder time closing than most guys would with a situation that didn't include the ever present green light.

Pay for it already, and then don't post about it.

Ps make sure the escort you choose gives you the full hour, not just until you are done. Otherwise she'll/he'll be making something like 9000 per hour if the math is done right.

Posted via Mobile Device

Hammock Parties · 03-07-2009, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by easymobee

You've found a couple of craigslist style girls from the no strings attached section online

That's not where they came from.

Also, I've only even tried with one of them.

easymobee · 03-07-2009, 04:21 PM

Also, I think he is subconsciously sabotaging himself. First sign of trouble (or sign that an extra effort on your part might be required) and you give her an easy out and then go to the 1st available movie? I think he was relieved when she showed the hesitation. That's natural and understandable, but you can't expect these girls to chase you down and rape you, its not a porn movie.
Posted via Mobile Device

View Poll Results: Who would you rather lose your virginity to?
The white woman	90	65.69%
The Hispanic woman	47	34.31%
Voters: 137. You may not vote on this poll

03-05-2009, 06:22 PM
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $800478	blargh test Last edited by Hammock Parties; 07-19-2009 at 09:05 AM..
Posts: 297,438

03-07-2009, 01:59 AM	#676
Mecca Hockey Town Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Kansas City, Missouri Casino cash: $-712950	I think he should find a nice girl who cries on speed bumps.
Posts: 115,380

03-07-2009, 04:25 AM	#680
Rausch Mindful Taoist German Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $6501662	Life is like a buffet: try and get a little taste of everything before you push back from the table and walk away...
Posts: 78,111

03-07-2009, 11:56 AM	#685
The Buddha This is not an exit... Join Date: Feb 2009 Casino cash: $10004900	Don't feel bad Claythan. The girl at my work who's been messing with me (or trying to), told me last night she she wants to make out with me really bad, and that I make her panties wet. And yet, she has a new bf... :? Stay away from trying to figure out women. I've just been doing this for about a week now, but I'm stopping trying. LIke when she said she wanted to make out with me, I just said, "I know." fuck all this playing along and games and stuff. When she pulls all that drama crap, just do what you did. Tell her its no big deal, and that you just made other plans. Stop chasing, and just enjoy life.
Posts: 820

03-07-2009, 04:21 PM	#690
easymobee _\|_ (^_^) _\|_ Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Playoffs Casino cash: $10005075	Also, I think he is subconsciously sabotaging himself. First sign of trouble (or sign that an extra effort on your part might be required) and you give her an easy out and then go to the 1st available movie? I think he was relieved when she showed the hesitation. That's natural and understandable, but you can't expect these girls to chase you down and rape you, its not a porn movie. Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 607