A household mystery.

**Rain Man** · 01-28-2005, 10:17 AM

As some of you may know, my wife was out of town most of this week. This created all sorts of unusual situations for me, such as picking out my own clothes, driving myself to work, and cooking my own Jiffy muffins.

I made a very odd and disturbing discovery when I was cooking my first batch of Jiffy muffins. I whipped up the mix, turned the oven on, and started to put the muffins in, when I saw something at the bottom of the stove.

In my initial investigation, I learned two things:

1. The heating element of an oven gets really, really hot very, very quickly.

2. The item in the bottom of the stove was a small bell, kind of like what you see on beanie babies or cat collars or something.

Now, before you jump to conclusions, both of our cats are fine and healthy, so I don't think my wife has been doing the old Chinese restaurant switcheroo. We also don't have any beanie babies, so unless she hunted and cooked one, I don't think she was making beanie baby casserole.

Where the heck did that little bell come from?

**CosmicPal** · 01-28-2005, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I whipped up the mix, turned the oven on, and started to put the muffins in, when I saw something at the bottom of the stove.

You should have stopped right there!

Geez, Kevin- you're supposed to turn the oven on first, before you do anything else.

I think you should hire some help next time your wife leaves town. Particularly one who knows how to use a feather duster.

**Skip Towne** · 01-28-2005, 10:26 AM

Man, you really did have a tough time while she was gone. I'm surprised you remembered to breathe.

**Rain Man** · 01-28-2005, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CosmicPal

You should have stopped right there!

Geez, Kevin- you're supposed to turn the oven on first, before you do anything else.

Preheating is for sissies.

**CosmicPal** · 01-28-2005, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Preheating is for sissies.

Not when you're baking in high altitudes. You need a lot of heat. For example, when I bake my pizza at home- I jack the thing up 500 degrees and preheat that oven for a half hour at the very least- the best baking results for a pizza crust is sincerely the highest baking temperature you can score.

The same holds true for just about anything you bake at home, particularly in Colorado. And if you want those muffins to come out fluffy and moist- I suggest preheating that oven for a long time.

Or like I said, hire some cute gal who's good with a feather duster. Not that it has anything to do with baking, but I'm sure she'll get more than just your temperature going.

**Rain Man** · 01-28-2005, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CosmicPal

Not when you're baking in high altitudes. You need a lot of heat. For example, when I bake my pizza at home- I jack the thing up 500 degrees and preheat that oven for a half hour at the very least- the best baking results for a pizza crust is sincerely the highest baking temperature you can score.

The same holds true for just about anything you bake at home, particularly in Colorado. And if you want those muffins to come out fluffy and moist- I suggest preheating that oven for a long time.

Or like I said, hire some cute gal who's good with a feather duster. Not that it has anything to do with baking, but I'm sure she'll get more than just your temperature going.

I'm starting to think that you know more about this bell than you're letting on...

**Baby Lee** · 01-28-2005, 10:24 AM

Any frilly decorated potholders?

My guess would be there was a holiday decorative potholder or washrag that had a bell sewn on, somebody used it to pull something out of the oven, and in the course of so doing lost one of the bells off it.

**morphius** · 01-28-2005, 10:33 AM

Its the bike thieves calling card, its just very subtle.

ROYC75 · 01-28-2005, 10:37 AM

3 BLIND MICE..........

JazzzLovr · 01-28-2005, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

2. The item in the bottom of the stove was a small bell, kind of like what you see on beanie babies or cat collars or something.

Where the heck did that little bell come from?

It's probably a part from the timer that somehow fell out. Without the bell, I'm not sure how you will know when the fwies are done.

**Baby Lee** · 01-28-2005, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JazzzLovr

It's probably a part from the timer that somehow fell out. Without the bell, I'm not sure how you will know when the fwies are done.

Don't most stoves either have a buzzer, or, on newer models, a solid state beeper. Can't say I've ever seen a full sized stove with a bell.

JazzzLovr · 01-28-2005, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baby Lee

Don't most stoves either have a buzzer, or, on newer models, a solid state beeper. Can't say I've ever seen a full sized stove with a bell.

That was just an elaborate setup to get to the fwies punchline. It was a stretch, I know. It's Friday. Don't expect too much.

Dr. Johnny Fever · 01-28-2005, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

This created all sorts of unusual situations for me, such as picking out my own clothes, driving myself to work

That IS a joke..................... right........?

**ptlyon** · 01-28-2005, 11:42 AM

what's a fwie?

**Baby Lee** · 01-28-2005, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ptlyon

what's a fwie?

Surely you've been around long enough to remember the reerun on fry station at Burger King - Ding! Fwies are done!!

01-28-2005, 10:17 AM	Topic Starter
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-772449 VARSITY	A household mystery. As some of you may know, my wife was out of town most of this week. This created all sorts of unusual situations for me, such as picking out my own clothes, driving myself to work, and cooking my own Jiffy muffins. I made a very odd and disturbing discovery when I was cooking my first batch of Jiffy muffins. I whipped up the mix, turned the oven on, and started to put the muffins in, when I saw something at the bottom of the stove. In my initial investigation, I learned two things: 1. The heating element of an oven gets really, really hot very, very quickly. 2. The item in the bottom of the stove was a small bell, kind of like what you see on beanie babies or cat collars or something. Now, before you jump to conclusions, both of our cats are fine and healthy, so I don't think my wife has been doing the old Chinese restaurant switcheroo. We also don't have any beanie babies, so unless she hunted and cooked one, I don't think she was making beanie baby casserole. Where the heck did that little bell come from?
Posts: 145,601

01-28-2005, 10:26 AM	#3
Skip Towne Supporter Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: T-Town Casino cash: $10004900	Man, you really did have a tough time while she was gone. I'm surprised you remembered to breathe.
Posts: 69,689

01-28-2005, 10:24 AM	#7
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $8028275	Any frilly decorated potholders? My guess would be there was a holiday decorative potholder or washrag that had a bell sewn on, somebody used it to pull something out of the oven, and in the course of so doing lost one of the bells off it.
Posts: 95,642

01-28-2005, 10:33 AM	#8
morphius World's finest morphius Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $5695027	Its the bike thieves calling card, its just very subtle.
Posts: 26,023

01-28-2005, 10:37 AM	#9
ROYC75 Time For Your Wake Up Call !!! Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Barn Yard Casino cash: $2070400	3 BLIND MICE.......... __________________ Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about it. John Lennon
Posts: 37,988

01-28-2005, 11:42 AM	#14
ptlyon Bono & Grbac wasn't enough Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Sioux City, IA Casino cash: $9153829	what's a fwie? __________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Advertise here: $19.99 a month
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