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Topic Starter |
Cynical Misanthrope
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Alaska
Casino cash: $-1740000
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Legal Crackdown on Sexual Expression Continues
So, turns out that you cannot catch a seagull, restrain it, and then rub one out while watching porn on your phone. I was unaware that this was against the law but as Fletch said, "There have been a lot of changes in the law." Remember this when you are making plans for this weekend. Also, I know that seagulls are quite rare in KC and the Midwest so many CPers might think this doesn't apply. The case does originate in the UK but I get the feeling that a court might not think it's a defense if you were planning on using a different bird.
No need to thank me for stopping anybody before they found out too late that this was against the law. I'm just trying to help. Link is SFW but admittedly bizarre. https://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/ne...tured-seagull/ |
Posts: 4,339
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#2 |
Most Valuable Villain
Join Date: Dec 2006
Casino cash: $2065047
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I hate the offseason.
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Posts: 92,316
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#3 |
Woman should only make babies
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Apartment "G UNIT!"
Casino cash: $-403864
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As long as I can masterbate to loose a rouge uterus
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Posts: 54,957
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#4 |
Sprinkle in some Mahomes
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Butte Montana
Casino cash: $7658507
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What happens in Alaska stays on CP.
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Posts: 8,271
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#5 |
MVP
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: nemo
Casino cash: $-410100
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It’s not like it was a chicken or anything.
sec
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"Mr. seclark. Wrong for gravy, wrong for jelly, wrong for biscuits." -rj "If every Planeteer who was disliked by another Planeteer stopped being a Planeteer we wouldn't have any Planeteers." -rj |
Posts: 13,447
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#6 |
Banned
Join Date: Apr 2019
Casino cash: $5920400
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He assaulted a seagull with his peehole.
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Posts: 1
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#7 |
Seize life. Be an ermine.
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: My house
Casino cash: $-682449
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[Article quote]
Gulls on the roof of South Tyneside Magistrates’ Court on Tuesday (April 25) could be heard calling out as the bench watched CCTV of the “bizarre” incident, which happened in a back street of Gladstone Street, Sunderland. [/Quote] This reporting is clearly biased against the defendant.
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Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history. |
Posts: 145,512
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#8 |
SuperChiefs
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Florida
Casino cash: $-1450178
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As part of Florida's stand your ground law, it's totally legal in Florida as long as you can prove that it shit on you or your car
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Posts: 21,943
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#9 |
Ain't no relax!
Join Date: Sep 2005
Casino cash: $-1441081
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Slut was practically asking for it though.
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Posts: 48,873
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#10 |
Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Ohio
Casino cash: $-1779600
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You can’t even masturbate on a plane anymore. Thanks, Bin Laden.
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Posts: 1,896
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#11 |
Court Jester
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Orlando
Casino cash: $-827600
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Posts: 20,698
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#12 |
Suupraa Geniuuusss
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: North Phoenix, AZ
Casino cash: $-1959600
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What if the seagull consents? Asking for a seagull friend . . .
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“Some ideas are so stupid only intellectuals believe them.”- George Orwell Steven "Spags" Spagnuolo is my Adopt-A-Chief!!! ![]() Last edited by Megatron96; 04-25-2023 at 04:59 PM.. |
Posts: 35,040
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#13 |
Fish are scared of me
Join Date: Nov 2001
Casino cash: $-1539523
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Holy Shit! Timing perfect for the heads up. Thank You Mr Frozenchief!
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Posts: 40,649
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#15 |
Busy in a Kohl's restroom
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Milk/Honey/Gazland
Casino cash: $1747293
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Call me a bigot, but I prefer pelicans.
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You seem nice! |
Posts: 22,376
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