Wanna see a picture of an idiot? - Page 3

**Rain Man** · 11:43 PM

So...I'm on a plane tonght, and it's on United Airlines, which is a horrible, horrible mistake to start with. In my defense, I only flew on United because they gave me a $100 certificate in exchange for the last time they royally screwed up. Other than one more flight that I've already bought, never again on United Airlines. Never again.

I decide that I'd like to do a little work on the plane. It's practically impossible to do that in Economy since it's basically an Iron Maiden torture device, and if the person in front of you leans back, you can't open your laptop all the way. So I paid an extra $29 each to get United's "Economy Plus", which would be a good deal if United wasn't the most incompetent piece of feces that ever lost a suitcase.

Long story short, when the Sky Waitresses weren't looking, three people got up from Economy Class and came up to Economy Plus and sat down. An obese, slack-jawed, sissified low-achiever who, it is rumored, wet the bed until he was 20 and dresses like a woman on his days off (though I can't confirm that) made a big production out of picking a seat, and moved all of his stuff up from Economy. He picked the seat across the aisle from me.

I'm an easygoing guy. I really am. But stuff like this ticks me off. I just paid to upgrade, and these people cheated when the Sky Waitresses weren't looking. So I politely told the guy, "Just FYI, these seats cost more money. I don't think you can move up here."

He made a stupid comment back, of the sort that I don't absorb very well. So I narced him to the Sky Waitress when she came by. I told her that three people moved up from Economy, and would she please ask them to move back since I just paid extra to move up.

And you know what? YOU KNOW WHAT? The Sky Waitress said - in front of the guy, "We have a hard time policing that, so we don't enforce it." So in other words, United Airlines stole my money.

Well, she leaves and the guy starts jawing at me, and then says, "I'll be finding you outside the baggage area."

What the - ? Is this high school? Are we meeting after class for a fight? Is the potbellied guy with the 70s porn moustache going to beat me up after school? I mean, this dude is probably 45 years old, and I doubt he's ever been on a date, unless you count taking his mother to the prom (though that's a rumor - I can't confirm that). I haven't been physically threatened since...well, since that homeless guy with the soup, but before that it's probably been 30 years.

I figured y'all would want a picture of him, so I took a couple at the baggage claim where he was supposed to beat me up. (See the first couple of posts.) As I suspected, he just stood there with his eyes down like a complete wimp. I got my bag, left, and as I got on the escalator to the ground transport, I looked back. The guy is running over. He had waited until I was halfway down the escalator, and then he ran over and made a bunch of obscene gestures at me.

Honestly, I'm not so annoyed at the guy because I understand that some people simply aren't smart enough to understand how proper society works. I'm really more annoyed at United Airlines, which once again proved that they are the biggest group of mouth-breathers on the face of the planet. I guess I deserve what I get for giving them money.

Deberg_1990 · 03-16-2008, 08:28 AM

Did you get his permission to post his pic on the internet??

When you departed the plane, did you seek a United Supervisor out and tell them your story about what one of their stewardess's said??

People will always try and scam the system. (Its just human nature) I guess if United isnt going to enforce their own policies, i cant blame these people for doing it??

Frankie · 03-16-2008, 08:51 AM

Meh Rain Man. We got a couple of them guys right here on this bb. Don't fret dude.

keg in kc · 03-16-2008, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

More and more, this world needs a plague that only affects people who can't function in society.

I'm not ready to die yet.

Sure-Oz · 03-16-2008, 09:23 AM

What a fat pos, and United does blow ass. I feel sufficated when im in economy as well.

You should've beat his ass and gotten your $29 or whatever from him

burt · 03-16-2008, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frankie

Meh Rain Man. We got a couple of them guys right here on this bb. Don't fret dude.

Leave me alone!

blueballs · 03-16-2008, 10:36 AM

I think that's Bob Gretz

**Rain Man** · 03-16-2008, 10:46 AM

I'm debating my plan for the return trip. I'm considering the following options for the people who will doubtless do the same thing then.

1. If United won't enforce their own rules, I'll tell each of the people that I "represent United Airlines" and that if they would like to buy an instant upgrade I'd be glad to sell them one. If they pay me $29 each, fine, and apparently the stewardess won't intervene.

2. I'll go sit in the middle seat right next to them and hum "Oh, Susanna" the entire flight.

3. I'll pick one of them, follow them to their car at a dark spot at DIA, and stab them to death. Then I'll write in blood on their windshield, "Next time, pay the $29."

I kind of like Option 1. It's not like United is going to stop me, right? If I can get payment from 10 people, my trip is free.

blueballs · 03-16-2008, 10:49 AM

Eat lots of red meat and drink plenty of strong beer
then mark your territory

**DaFace** · 03-16-2008, 10:58 AM

I'm surprised you have time to post on the Planet. I mean, how are you going to fit in all of the sights and sounds of Minneapolis in one day? Get out there and see the world!

88TG88 · 03-16-2008, 11:18 AM

Shoulda kicked his ass.

**Rain Man** · 03-16-2008, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaFace

I'm surprised you have time to post on the Planet. I mean, how are you going to fit in all of the sights and sounds of Minneapolis in one day? Get out there and see the world!

MC is out, so I have to finish her proposal.

**DaFace** · 03-16-2008, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

MC is out, so I have to finish her proposal.

Eww. Well, hope it goes quickly at least.

StcChief · 03-16-2008, 11:33 AM

Yeah. wonder why the Airlines are in trouble. at $29/ea. and not enforcing "free upgrade" .... fire a few Stewardess over this and watch what happens

Halfcan · 03-16-2008, 11:33 AM

You should have came up behind him at the baggage deal and kicked him as hard as you could in the nuts and said.....

You know who you fuggin with you you dumb mother fugger????

I am RAINMAN!!!!

And as he is laying on the floor craddleing his tiny nuts-you quietly grab your bag and his his-and then walk out.

**Iowanian** · 03-16-2008, 11:36 AM

Holy Crap...

ladies and Gentlemen....BILL BRASKEY IS IN THE HOUSE!

painting it.

03-15-2008, 11:14 PM
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-732449 VARSITY	Wanna see a picture of an idiot? So...I'm on a plane tonght, and it's on United Airlines, which is a horrible, horrible mistake to start with. In my defense, I only flew on United because they gave me a $100 certificate in exchange for the last time they royally screwed up. Other than one more flight that I've already bought, never again on United Airlines. Never again. I decide that I'd like to do a little work on the plane. It's practically impossible to do that in Economy since it's basically an Iron Maiden torture device, and if the person in front of you leans back, you can't open your laptop all the way. So I paid an extra $29 each to get United's "Economy Plus", which would be a good deal if United wasn't the most incompetent piece of feces that ever lost a suitcase. Long story short, when the Sky Waitresses weren't looking, three people got up from Economy Class and came up to Economy Plus and sat down. An obese, slack-jawed, sissified low-achiever who, it is rumored, wet the bed until he was 20 and dresses like a woman on his days off (though I can't confirm that) made a big production out of picking a seat, and moved all of his stuff up from Economy. He picked the seat across the aisle from me. I'm an easygoing guy. I really am. But stuff like this ticks me off. I just paid to upgrade, and these people cheated when the Sky Waitresses weren't looking. So I politely told the guy, "Just FYI, these seats cost more money. I don't think you can move up here." He made a stupid comment back, of the sort that I don't absorb very well. So I narced him to the Sky Waitress when she came by. I told her that three people moved up from Economy, and would she please ask them to move back since I just paid extra to move up. And you know what? YOU KNOW WHAT? The Sky Waitress said - in front of the guy, "We have a hard time policing that, so we don't enforce it." So in other words, United Airlines stole my money. Well, she leaves and the guy starts jawing at me, and then says, "I'll be finding you outside the baggage area." What the - ? Is this high school? Are we meeting after class for a fight? Is the potbellied guy with the 70s porn moustache going to beat me up after school? I mean, this dude is probably 45 years old, and I doubt he's ever been on a date, unless you count taking his mother to the prom (though that's a rumor - I can't confirm that). I haven't been physically threatened since...well, since that homeless guy with the soup, but before that it's probably been 30 years. I figured y'all would want a picture of him, so I took a couple at the baggage claim where he was supposed to beat me up. (See the first couple of posts.) As I suspected, he just stood there with his eyes down like a complete wimp. I got my bag, left, and as I got on the escalator to the ground transport, I looked back. The guy is running over. He had waited until I was halfway down the escalator, and then he ran over and made a bunch of obscene gestures at me. Honestly, I'm not so annoyed at the guy because I understand that some people simply aren't smart enough to understand how proper society works. I'm really more annoyed at United Airlines, which once again proved that they are the biggest group of mouth-breathers on the face of the planet. I guess I deserve what I get for giving them money. Last edited by Rain Man; 03-15-2008 at 11:43 PM..
Posts: 145,562

03-16-2008, 08:28 AM	#31
Deberg_1990 In Search of a Life Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: San Antonio Tx. Casino cash: $54454	Did you get his permission to post his pic on the internet?? When you departed the plane, did you seek a United Supervisor out and tell them your story about what one of their stewardess's said?? People will always try and scam the system. (Its just human nature) I guess if United isnt going to enforce their own policies, i cant blame these people for doing it?? __________________ Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning: Matt once made a very nice play in Seattle where he spun away from a pass rusher and hit Bowe off his back foot for a first down. One of the best plays Matt has ever made.
Posts: 68,715

03-16-2008, 08:51 AM	#32
Frankie Banned Join Date: Jul 2001 Casino cash: $10004900	Meh Rain Man. We got a couple of them guys right here on this bb. Don't fret dude.
Posts: 26,959

03-16-2008, 09:23 AM	#34
Sure-Oz Stay positive, don't give up Join Date: Dec 2001 Casino cash: $1599383	What a fat pos, and United does blow ass. I feel sufficated when im in economy as well. You should've beat his ass and gotten your $29 or whatever from him
Posts: 46,341

03-16-2008, 10:36 AM	#36
blueballs Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Casino cash: $10004900	I think that's Bob Gretz
Posts: 14,233

03-16-2008, 10:46 AM	#37
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-732449 VARSITY	I'm debating my plan for the return trip. I'm considering the following options for the people who will doubtless do the same thing then. 1. If United won't enforce their own rules, I'll tell each of the people that I "represent United Airlines" and that if they would like to buy an instant upgrade I'd be glad to sell them one. If they pay me $29 each, fine, and apparently the stewardess won't intervene. 2. I'll go sit in the middle seat right next to them and hum "Oh, Susanna" the entire flight. 3. I'll pick one of them, follow them to their car at a dark spot at DIA, and stab them to death. Then I'll write in blood on their windshield, "Next time, pay the $29." I kind of like Option 1. It's not like United is going to stop me, right? If I can get payment from 10 people, my trip is free. __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,562

03-16-2008, 10:49 AM	#38
blueballs Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Casino cash: $10004900	Eat lots of red meat and drink plenty of strong beer then mark your territory
Posts: 14,233

03-16-2008, 10:58 AM	#39
DaFace Kind of a mod Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Donkey Land Casino cash: $-1933101	I'm surprised you have time to post on the Planet. I mean, how are you going to fit in all of the sights and sounds of Minneapolis in one day? Get out there and see the world!
Posts: 53,155

03-16-2008, 11:18 AM	#40
88TG88 don't tell me about collage Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Los Angeles Casino cash: $10009184	Shoulda kicked his ass.
Posts: 6,274

03-16-2008, 11:33 AM	#43
StcChief Playing for #1 Draft Pick Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Just West of Lambs land Casino cash: $10004900	Yeah. wonder why the Airlines are in trouble. at $29/ea. and not enforcing "free upgrade" .... fire a few Stewardess over this and watch what happens __________________ sig test for this screwy schema
Posts: 25,901

03-16-2008, 11:33 AM	#44
Halfcan In Search of a Life Join Date: Aug 2005 Casino cash: $7327995	You should have came up behind him at the baggage deal and kicked him as hard as you could in the nuts and said..... You know who you fuggin with you you dumb mother fugger???? I am RAINMAN!!!! And as he is laying on the floor craddleing his tiny nuts-you quietly grab your bag and his his-and then walk out.
Posts: 43,200

03-16-2008, 11:36 AM	#45
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1648454	Holy Crap... ladies and Gentlemen....BILL BRASKEY IS IN THE HOUSE! painting it.
Posts: 62,945