Ever Sell an Engagement Ring?

[Buehler445]

Originally Posted by Bearcat

I've been rolling this around in my head a bit and IMO this doesn't accurately depict the skin in the game.

If you have Elvis marry you in Vegas drive through chapel the night you meet someone, you obviously don't have any skin in the game and chances are probably higher that it'll end poorly.

OTOH, if you date someone for a year or two, give up your personal space to live together, spend money on dates and gifts and so forth... and the get engaged, that's quite a bit of skin in the game already, no? Does paying 3 month's salary on top of that really change anything?

Or to turn that around.... if you met someone at a bar tonight, bought a $10k ring for her and got engaged.... you wouldn't expect throwing $10k into a 6 hour relationship is going to help anything, right? And if it did, probably not for good reasons.

I think there is sometimes a psychological component to it, like Buehler mentioned... dress for success or for the occasion. Granted, my wardrobe was pretty casual before working from home all the time, so can't exactly say I abide by it.

Yeah, there is gradient and nuance in everything.

I really think there is something to the "treat important things respectfully" business. I think my wife would have taken a similar position to DaFace's if I'd bought something super extravagant at the time.

But if it's the same every day it doesn't click something in your head to treat it differently.

Wardrobe is a bad example in my line of work, but it does matter. If I'm going to meet a landlord, I damn sure try not to be dirty and for ****s sake clean my pickup or office or whereever we are meeting, because damn it those interactions are important. And if I entered the conversation with my landlord in a similar headspace as my employee that might not go well for Buehler445.

And also, marriage, like it or not, presents a step (at least legally) that has barriers to exit. So by definition it is important on some level. Regardless of your feelings on the institution itself.

But it's not hard and fast. My **** sister made a GIANT deal about everything regarding her wedding because it was OH SO IMPORTANT. 2 years later he was out of there with prejudice.

I certainly am not, and I doubt DJ is either, saying your marriage is ****ed if you didn't put some cash down on a ring, but there is value in taking the important shit in life seriously.