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#16 |
Inmem 2.0
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: My house
Casino cash: $-1192442
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Did you ever get ****ed in the ass?
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Posts: 78,155
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#17 |
Banned
Join Date: Jan 2013
Casino cash: $9998560
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Are you on the right path now?
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Posts: 53,803
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#18 |
What's up braj?
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Placencia, Belize
Casino cash: $-1806750
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ARE YOU GAY
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Posts: 16,956
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#19 |
Spiraling down the Drain
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dante's Ninth Circle
Casino cash: $-10000
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Did you participate in receptive anal intercourse?
Did you pitch or catch?
__________________
"We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87 |
Posts: 33,364
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#20 |
World's Best Boss
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bronco Country
Casino cash: $3584654
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Did any new invention in the outside world cause you to say “woah, wtf” when you made it out?
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Posts: 19,383
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#21 |
In Search of a Life
Join Date: Mar 2006
Casino cash: $3159900
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How many cartons of cigarettes could you fit into your ass at once
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Posts: 22,637
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#22 |
Life is changing..
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: NW Missouri
Casino cash: $-2600000
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Did you bust any cheeks?
Split any wigs? |
Posts: 43,118
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#23 |
legend
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Independence, MO
Casino cash: $-3347903
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I wasn't gone quite that long. Definitely the self order machines at fast food place like McDonald's. Getting used to the Paseo not being the Paseo it's definitely something.
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Posts: 28,546
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#24 |
World's Best Boss
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bronco Country
Casino cash: $3584654
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Posts: 19,383
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#25 |
Busy in a Kohl's restroom
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Milk/Honey/Gazland
Casino cash: $1747293
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Such a turgid thread. You boys are making me horny! Kisses!
__________________
You seem nice! |
Posts: 22,376
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#26 | |
legend
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Independence, MO
Casino cash: $-3347903
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Quote:
I think it three important variables should be taken into consideration. A) How much time did you do? B) Do you want something better for yourself? C) How stable is your support system? The first time I went to prison I did less than a year. I got out with a girlfriend that I have had for a long time and two young kids, one being born while I was gone. My mom was still locked up and my closest friends that I still considered family we're all users and some of them were active criminals. My girlfriend's mom let me move in and was very supportive. I did treatment and I wanted to make a better life for myself knowing I was only 20 years old and had my whole life ahead of me. But I quickly found out I wasn't ready to give up the lifestyle that I enjoyed so much. I spent three years Teeter tottering back and forth in between being a good person and loving father and being an abuser to the people that I loved. I quit doing drugs all together I started drinking because I never had a drinking problem, I had a drug problem. Then the drinking got out of hand my new wife wanted a divorce and I quickly spiraled out of control and found myself back in prison. Time in: 10 months Time Out: 3 1/2 years My second incarceration I spent most of my time talking to a girl I had recently met before getting locked up. She validated the notion that I was still worth something to someone. I also spent time building a relationship with my mother who was a couple years into sobriety. It is well documented on here in the dating megathread what I went through upon my release with this chick. I thought I wanted to be a productive member of society but never took the time to really grasp what that meant. My entire mental state of being was founded on trying to make this girl I "Could not live without" stay with me. I moved in with her even after finding out she had a new boyfriend three weeks prior to my release. I was in a bar the night of getting out drunk. I ran from the cops the next night, but left my prison fleece jacket in the car with my name on it, so even though I got away, they called my PO. I was wanted almost immediately. I was high on Meth almost daily within two months. I had built a foundation built on broken promises and plenty of lies to my loved ones. I had good support, especially from (suprisingly at the time) my mom, but noone knew the extent of how bad I was trying to self sabotage my life. I also had a detailed mental health plan based on past successes, and I quit taking my meds a month(the whole supply DOC gave me) after getting out because I couldn't be bothered to go see a shrink on the streets. I was self medicating anyways. Time In : 2 years Time Out : Almost four months. In August 2015 I was sitting in the Jackson County jail a shell of who I wanted to be as a kid. I was broken.I was full of self pity and doubt. My friends and family would not come visit me, except for my mom. She said since I never gave up on her during her darkest times, now she wouldn't give up on me. Something in a visit she said that I'll never forget was about the Royals Championship. She said it was beautiful that nobody in KC did anything crazy after the win like setting fires or flipping cars. I said if I was out there I would have flipped a car, and right away she said "And that type of thinking is why you're in here." Such a by the way comment might have saved my life. If you have loved ones getting out of prison wanting to adjust and become better versions of themselves if you have to know they can't do it for you. They can't do it for a girlfriend or their kids. They have to do it because they want it. They'll tell you they want it when they really don't. They'll tell themselves they want it when they really don't. It's making me tear up a little thinking about it. Being okay with hurting people who care about you and making victims out of strangers for selfish reasons is a mindset that is hard to break. So many dudes that have good hearts deep down will never make it out. They'll spend their lives in prison or die in the streets. It's ****ed up. I have no advice for how you get to the point of reallly wanting it. You'll notice certain thought patterns changing and criminal habits breaking up a bitt.. Guilt for wrongdoings will be stronger, annd you will want to feel it, not hide it with drugs. Noone will believe you, you will most likely be past the point of anybody taking your word seriously. You will be okay with proving yourself to the people people every single moment of every day as you're being watched. And although you'll be scared, you'll feel good as the days go on. My mom offered forme to come live in kansas with her and my grandma. She thought she could "fix" me. But I want to earn this. So I decided to come to the Healing House, a transitional living place. It's not cheap and it's not easy but I have a bubble to come back to and I get more and more freedom as I prove I deserve it. I work hard. I do alot of meetings. I tallk to a therapist everyy week. I was easily overwhelmed by riding the bus and going to walmart and being around women when I first got out, but it's getting better. I went to a parent teacher meeting yesterday. I loved it. Time In : 4 years. Tiime Out : 2 months and one day at a time. |
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Posts: 28,546
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#27 |
legend
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Independence, MO
Casino cash: $-3347903
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I've been to all three type of camps that they have in Missouri for some amount of time. Max it's rough because some those dudes are doing life and they don't give a ****. Mediums are off the chain. You have more than one hour like you do at the max camps but still less than at the minimum. There's drugs everywhere and Missouri prisons are usually separated by prison politics. Race is kind of big sometimes. The whites are split up by gangs or by where they are from. So there's just a lot of bull shit going on, overdoses fights stabbings etc. There's also a lot of sports most camps have a softball field and have leagues during the summer. That's fun. They are ran by Recreation officers who also hosts other things like handball tournaments and basketball tournaments Etc. The yard at minimum camps has less bs for the most part but they took out tobacco two years ago and minimum camps always have work release so there's a lot of tobacco and therefore a lot of gang activity and fights. However the one I was at in st.joe did have more tournaments and stuff going on then the medium I was at.
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Posts: 28,546
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#28 |
legend
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Independence, MO
Casino cash: $-3347903
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Yes. I was never allowed to work release but I did have a buddy that was on work release and brought in a lot of tobacco. He left it with me one day and it was about four bullets which one of them is at the size of a fat thumb, and the officers came in to search and I boofed all of it plus a lighter. It was surprisingly easy probably because of past incarcerations when I was on more BS and tobacco was legal and I would go to the hole and take a bunch with me up my butt.
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Posts: 28,546
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#29 |
legend
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Independence, MO
Casino cash: $-3347903
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I'm white so there is a series of gangs I guess I could have joined but I really really ****ing hate those people. Ssg, Orion, family values etc. Most of them created back in the day to bring young white guys in and keep them safe when they first get to prison and teach them the ropes. Now they roll up ten guys deep on white kids when they first get off the bus and press them out of everything. Its messed up
And if you're not in a gang or a baby(gay) it's smart to stick to a regional organization like the Joplin honkies, st joe cats, nasty north northeast(kc) etc. I'm from Independence so mostly I ran with northeast. |
Posts: 28,546
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#30 |
legend
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Independence, MO
Casino cash: $-3347903
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I can't fight. I have and will, I'm not afraid to get beat up. But more often than not I lose. In jackson county I was the only white guy in a 17 man wing, and I got jumped really bad four or five times. They kept trying to make me leave but I wouldn't because that type of thing follows you to every jail and prison you go to, so finally they just said that white boy crazy and let me be.
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Posts: 28,546
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