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Cynical Misanthrope
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Alaska
Casino cash: $-1720000
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Monkey Belonging to Texas Special Team's Coach Stripper Girlfriend Bites Child
This has to be the headline of the year:
Monkey belonging to Texas Special Team's Coach Stripper Girlfriend bites child on Halloween. https://www.foxnews.com/sports/monke...d-on-halloween I saw this on Twitter and started looking. Only Fox mentions that the girlfriend is a stripper in the headline, which I personally thought was an important fact. In fact, her stage name is 'Pole Assassin'. She appeared at one point on the Jerry Springer Show. But this incident raises several questions about what we should learn from this incident: 1. Is this a danger of having a stripper girlfriend? 2. Is this a danger of having a girlfriend who has an emotional support animal? 3. is this a danger of having a girlfriend who has a monkey? 4. Is this a danger of giving away Halloween candy? 5. Why would you have a monkey as an emotional support animal? 6. Why would you date a woman whose professional name is 'Pole Assassin'? That's almost as bad as dating a woman whose professional name is 'felony' (the stage name of a stripper I represented at one point. Fortunately, she was charged with only a misdemeanor). I, for one, cannot get enough of this hard-hitting journalism that focuses upon real stories and real people. |
Posts: 4,339
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#2 |
It's Five O'Clock Somewhere
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Billings, Montana
Casino cash: $2135853647
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What are the odds?
![]() Oh and "Pole Assassin" ![]()
__________________
Adventure is dangerous....but monotony can kill you. |
Posts: 70,494
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#3 |
Supporter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Missouri
Casino cash: $-1070458
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That stripper needs to spank the monkey.
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Posts: 5,262
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#4 |
MVP
Join Date: Nov 2020
Casino cash: $-1259600
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This should become a "Fire Dave Toub" thread.
A suitable replacement has been found. |
Posts: 9,184
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#5 |
Supporter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Who knows?
Casino cash: $-954116
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Q
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Posts: 88,587
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#6 |
MVP
Join Date: Aug 2017
Casino cash: $2780400
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Monkey see, monkey don't
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Posts: 15,972
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#7 |
...
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Kansas City, MO
Casino cash: $-1677705
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Posts: 30,865
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#8 |
Cheat Death
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Land of Drincoln
Casino cash: $-1601756
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Who can Vartch trade for that monkey?
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Posts: 36,996
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#9 |
Busy in a Kohl's restroom
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Milk/Honey/Gazland
Casino cash: $1747293
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I feel dirty. And I like it.
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You seem nice! |
Posts: 22,376
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#10 |
Dazed and Confused
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Somewhere Out There
Casino cash: $-1849500
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Texas special teams coach Jeff Banks needs to stop monkeying around and get down.... (to basics).
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Posts: 20,103
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#11 |
Ain't no relax!
Join Date: Sep 2005
Casino cash: $-1421081
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Stripper monkeys are the worst...
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Posts: 48,861
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#12 |
Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home in KC
Casino cash: $10074930
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Depending on the cap hit, bring him in for a look?
__________________
There’s a gleam! |
Posts: 4,217
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#13 |
MVP
Join Date: Mar 2021
Casino cash: $-819600
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It(the child) shouldn't have dropped a candy wrapper on the porch
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Posts: 10,489
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#14 |
Cynical Misanthrope
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Alaska
Casino cash: $-1720000
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I've been thinking a bit about this and I'm thinking about the lawsuit. Say the kid sues the coach for keeping a dangerous animal and the coach is saying that the monkey bite is unforeseeable. I can just see the judge say, "Sir, your girlfriend's name is Pole Assassin. She has a monkey. Those 2 facts right there pretty much anything foreseeable."
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Posts: 4,339
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#15 |
pie is never free
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: the drivers seat
Casino cash: $-162225
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Posts: 98,474
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