Mr. Bob Dole Appreciation Day

[FAX]

Well, it's that time of year again, Planeteers ... Mr. Bob Dole Appreciation Day.

Please post all the things that you appreciate about Mr. Bob Dole on this thread. If you can't think of anything you appreciate about Mr. Bob Dole, feel free to make something up. If it's good, it's probably true, because today is Mr. Bob Dole Appreciation Day.

For all the N00bs (sp?) who know little or nothing about Mr. Bob Dole, imagine that he is Santa Claus, Timothy Leary, Geeta Dutt's vocal coach, and God's best fishing buddy all wrapped up in one and post accordingly.

Happy Mr. Bob Dole Appreciation Day, Mr. Bob Dole.

FAX

Disclaimers: Sorry if repost.

[Bob Dole]

Damn.

Bob Dole wishes someone had sent a reminder memo or something, so Bob Dole could have supplied stickers and buttons and other really nice swag.

[ROYC75]

Originally Posted by crazycoffey

Bob dole invinted the internet, right?


well, even if he didn't, he makes it better by being here.

Man, haven't you ever heard of Dole Pineapple ? He became so famous his pineapple was the talk of the ED world.

[ROYC75]

Bob Dole says Ross Perot has nothing on him........

[Gonzo]

Bob Dole has hired three of the worlds scariest groups of people to assist his plight of world domination.

Retired Ninjas

Vengeful Clowns

and of course: Old Porn Stars



Fight the power Bob Dole!

[Wile_E_Coyote]

Over 24,000 post with only one hand. Unless him can type with that ink pen

[FAX]

Mr. Bob Dole once taught english to an entire tribe of cannibals allowing them, for the first time, to read microwave instructions and his personal copy of the recipe book, "400 Enticing Pork And Bean Ideas" which resulted in saving countless lives of unsuspecting travellers, missionaries, and jungle explorers.

We appreciate that, Mr. Bob Dole.

FAX

[Bob Dole]

Originally Posted by FAX

Mr. Bob Dole once taught english to an entire tribe of cannibals allowing them, for the first time, to read microwave instructions and his personal copy of the recipe book, "400 Enticing Pork And Bean Ideas" which resulted in saving countless lives of unsuspecting travellers, missionaries, and jungle explorers.

We appreciate that, Mr. Bob Dole.

FAX

Don't forget that it also empowered them to read the instructions on the ball point pen packaging, which finally enabled them to extend the ink-filled tip and doodle in the margins.

[Gonzo]

Originally Posted by FAX

Mr. Bob Dole once taught english to an entire tribe of cannibals allowing them, for the first time, to read microwave instructions and his personal copy of the recipe book, "400 Enticing Pork And Bean Ideas" which resulted in saving countless lives of unsuspecting travellers, missionaries, and jungle explorers.

We appreciate that, Mr. Bob Dole.

FAX

It's A COOKBOOK!!!!!!

[Frazod]

Bob Dole once used his eyebrow to rescue an orphan from the bottom of a well.

[RJ]

RJ enjoys Bob Dole's unique style of posting.

RJ also appreciates Bob Dole's somewhat caustic wit.

What RJ doesn't understand is why Bob Dole ever thought to post in the third person, much less to make it a trademark.

RJ hopes that Bob Dole might explain that. RJ is thinking that alcohol may have been involved, though RJ has never met Bob Dole and therefore has no real basis for his opinion.

Also, RJ is amused by the fact that Bob Dole seems to use his mod powers primarily for evil purposes.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by crazycoffey

Bob dole invinted the internet, right?


well, even if he didn't, he makes it better by being here.

Actually, he invented the Externet. It was kind of the Beta to the Internet's VHS. It's still used in a lot of developing countries, though.

[crazycoffey]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Actually, he invented the Externet. It was kind of the Beta to the Internet's VHS. It's still used in a lot of developing countries, though.

BTW -
anyone know of anyone still using Beta? That came and went quick, didn't it?

[FAX]

Originally Posted by crazycoffey

BTW -
anyone know of anyone still using Beta? That came and went quick, didn't it?

Mr. Bob Dole collected and utilized a lot of the discarded BetaMax parts to constuct an interstellar transport device in his garage, Mr. crazycoffey, which he uses to locate and capture puppies abandoned on worlds outside our own galaxy. He then nurses these unfortunate animals back to health and finds them new homes with loving caregivers mainly in Alabama.

A lot of very strange looking puppies really appreciate that.

FAX

[crazycoffey]

Originally Posted by FAX

Mr. Bob Dole collected and utilized a lot of the discarded BetaMax parts to constuct an interstellar transport device in his garage, Mr. crazycoffey, which he uses to locate and capture puppies abandoned on worlds outside our own galaxy. He then nurses these unfortunate animals back to health and finds them new homes with loving caregivers mainly in Alabama.

A lot of very strange looking puppies really appreciate that.

FAX

you never cease to amaze.......

[Sully]

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with Bob Dole.


Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to Bob Dole.


When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.


He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.


He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.


This really bothered him and he
questioned Bob Dole about it:


"Bob Dole, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."

Bob Dole replied:


"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you. Now go get me a beer. I'm tired from carrying your fat ass. And don't be a lazy bitch. Get the good beer."