Life If slavery was legal... - Page 2

**Rain Man** · 09-01-2009, 08:15 PM

Hypothetical situation here, and I'll start by apologizing in advance to every African American person on the board if you want me to.

Background:

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE.

In order to help pay for a new stimulus package that provides big-screen TVs, unlimited 7-11 Big Gulps, and liposuction for every American, Obama's wacky science advisor re-establishes slavery in the United States. Every American draws a random number and 30 percent (those drawing a number ending in a 2, 4 or 7 if you're interested) will become slaves. So the slave population will contain people of all education levels, ages, genders, and yes, all races. Those slaves are then placed for sale by the government in a controlled auction environment.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY.

You and all of your friends and relatives and friendly coworkers draw safe numbers, so you don't have to worry about anyone you know.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE.

All laws are rewritten so that owning slaves is legal, generally along the lines of the year 1850. There is no social stigma to being a slaveowner, as it is condoned by nearly all daytime TV talk shows as well as Comedy Central, FOX News, and National Public Radio (though NPR suggests donating them to NPR in your will). The Constitution is amended to allow it, so it's not going anywhere in your lifetime.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT.

Based on about five minutes of research, it appears that the price for a slave in 1850, if inflated to today's dollars, would range from about $15,000 for someone with flaws (advanced age, health, etc.), to about $50,000 for an average slave, to about $95,000 for a top-notch, good-looking, prime-of-life slave.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING.

Recall that you would be responsible for all of this person's expenses and upkeep, including housing, health care, food, etc. However, in return you get...well...the person. Free labor for the remainder of the person's natural life, and no saying no to anything.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. NO RACE TALK.

Much like a car, an interested buyer can shop around and buy a person who seems like the best value according to their own criteria.

Be honest. Would you buy one?

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. NO RACE TALK. NONE.

And I'll finish by apologizing to any African Americans on the board if you want me to.

boogblaster · 09-01-2009, 08:34 PM

If Id lived bak then and needed help for my business Id prolly bought however many slaves needed to run my business .. that said, they would of been cared for like family ...

GoHuge · 09-01-2009, 08:36 PM

Posted via Mobile Device

**bevischief** · 09-01-2009, 09:04 PM

What if the slaves where robots, would that change anyone's mind?

**Rain Man** · 09-01-2009, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chevy369

What if the slaves where robots, would that change anyone's mind?

Can a robot be a slave if it doesn't have free will?

JohnnyV13 · 09-01-2009, 09:11 PM

How much would Megan Fox cost?

LaChapelle · 09-01-2009, 09:11 PM

They're called kids. Work 'em

**Rain Man** · 09-01-2009, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyV13

How much would Megan Fox cost?

My suspicion is that she'd probably beat the $95,000 top end by a significant margin. Supply and demand.

Frazod · 09-01-2009, 09:17 PM

Hmm, this might lead to us burning Lawrence to the ground again. I'm in.

wild1 · 09-01-2009, 09:17 PM

I'd buy a house with a great balcony, so I could come out on it in the morning and gesture over all of the slaves, and pretend I was Caesar.

RJ · 09-01-2009, 09:17 PM

I don't have a big screen tv or one of those phones that makes you breakfast or a laptop or that thing that records shows without commercials and I've never been to a Chiefs game and my car is a 1997 Honda so I'm certainly not investing in a slave.

I might consider hiring one temporarily. I need the back yard landscaped.

**Buehler445** · 09-01-2009, 09:17 PM

Prolly not. Prohibitively expensive. It would be cheaper just to hire an employee.

**TrebMaxx** · 09-01-2009, 09:20 PM

To what I would think is the majority of us working class folks. Are we not slaves to some degree already?

wild1 · 09-01-2009, 09:20 PM

I'd also build a giant chessboard out of those landscaping tiles. But I'd need 32 slaves. Kind of spendish.

Pioli Zombie · 09-01-2009, 09:24 PM

Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh....I'm gonna git me a shotgun and kill all the whiteys I seeee. I'm gonna git me a shotgun so they won't bother meeee....
Posted via Mobile Device

**kysirsoze** · 09-01-2009, 09:25 PM

There sure are a bunch of entertaining threads today.

View Poll Results: See Rules Below. Would you buy one?
Part 1. Would you buy one or more?	3	4.35%
Yes	20	28.99%
No	37	53.62%
Unsure.	3	4.35%
Part 2. If yes, why? Select the ONE main reason.	3	4.35%
It seems like a good economic investment.	9	13.04%
I could use the help.	12	17.39%
I would relish the absolute power.	4	5.80%
Other reason. See my explanation below.	1	1.45%
Part 3. If no, why not? Select the ONE main reason.	2	2.90%
I couldn't afford one.	8	11.59%
I don't need one.	8	11.59%
Slavery is wrong! WRONG! What kind of demented poll is this?	30	43.48%
Other reason. See my explanation below.	5	7.25%
Part 4. If unsure, why are you unsure? Select the ONE main reason.	2	2.90%
It seems wrong, but wow, it'd be soooo handy.	6	8.70%
I'd really like to know more about the shopping process.	2	2.90%
I'm not sure how history would judge me.	0	0%
I'm afraid of what I would do with absolute power, but I relish it.	1	1.45%
I'm not sure it's really a good deal, what with all this health care reform stuff and taxes.	1	1.45%
I'm unsure why I'm unsure.	0	0%
Other reason. See my explanation below.	3	4.35%
Part 5. Required apologies	3	4.35%
I'm checking this box as an apology for even thinking about this.	25	36.23%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 69. You may not vote on this poll

09-01-2009, 08:15 PM
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-682449 VARSITY	If slavery was legal... Hypothetical situation here, and I'll start by apologizing in advance to every African American person on the board if you want me to. Background: NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. In order to help pay for a new stimulus package that provides big-screen TVs, unlimited 7-11 Big Gulps, and liposuction for every American, Obama's wacky science advisor re-establishes slavery in the United States. Every American draws a random number and 30 percent (those drawing a number ending in a 2, 4 or 7 if you're interested) will become slaves. So the slave population will contain people of all education levels, ages, genders, and yes, all races. Those slaves are then placed for sale by the government in a controlled auction environment. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. You and all of your friends and relatives and friendly coworkers draw safe numbers, so you don't have to worry about anyone you know. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. All laws are rewritten so that owning slaves is legal, generally along the lines of the year 1850. There is no social stigma to being a slaveowner, as it is condoned by nearly all daytime TV talk shows as well as Comedy Central, FOX News, and National Public Radio (though NPR suggests donating them to NPR in your will). The Constitution is amended to allow it, so it's not going anywhere in your lifetime. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. Based on about five minutes of research, it appears that the price for a slave in 1850, if inflated to today's dollars, would range from about $15,000 for someone with flaws (advanced age, health, etc.), to about $50,000 for an average slave, to about $95,000 for a top-notch, good-looking, prime-of-life slave. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. Recall that you would be responsible for all of this person's expenses and upkeep, including housing, health care, food, etc. However, in return you get...well...the person. Free labor for the remainder of the person's natural life, and no saying no to anything. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. NO RACE TALK. Much like a car, an interested buyer can shop around and buy a person who seems like the best value according to their own criteria. Be honest. Would you buy one? NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. NO RACE TALK. NONE. And I'll finish by apologizing to any African Americans on the board if you want me to.
Posts: 145,512

09-01-2009, 08:34 PM	#16
boogblaster MVP Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Verdigris Valley Campsite Casino cash: $10004900	If Id lived bak then and needed help for my business Id prolly bought however many slaves needed to run my business .. that said, they would of been cared for like family ... __________________ WR or S please
Posts: 10,305

09-01-2009, 08:36 PM	#17
GoHuge The Truth Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Overland Park Casino cash: $10006072	Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 3,991

09-01-2009, 09:04 PM	#18
bevischief .... Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Somewhere Kansas Casino cash: $7729352 VARSITY	What if the slaves where robots, would that change anyone's mind?
Posts: 27,771

09-01-2009, 09:11 PM	#20
JohnnyV13 Veteran Join Date: May 2003 Location: Tucson AZ Casino cash: $5385200	How much would Megan Fox cost?
Posts: 4,222

09-01-2009, 09:11 PM	#21
LaChapelle Banned Join Date: Mar 2009 Casino cash: $10004900	They're called kids. Work 'em
Posts: 8,588

09-01-2009, 09:17 PM	#23
Frazod Did you hear what I said? Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $-786615	Hmm, this might lead to us burning Lawrence to the ground again. I'm in.
Posts: 121,774

09-01-2009, 09:17 PM	#24
wild1 MVP Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: 31040 Casino cash: $10004900	I'd buy a house with a great balcony, so I could come out on it in the morning and gesture over all of the slaves, and pretend I was Caesar.
Posts: 6,935

09-01-2009, 09:17 PM	#25
RJ Supporter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: In a shotgun shack Casino cash: $9895202	I don't have a big screen tv or one of those phones that makes you breakfast or a laptop or that thing that records shows without commercials and I've never been to a Chiefs game and my car is a 1997 Honda so I'm certainly not investing in a slave. I might consider hiring one temporarily. I need the back yard landscaped.
Posts: 14,940

09-01-2009, 09:17 PM	#26
Buehler445 Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Scott City KS Casino cash: $-1595266	Prolly not. Prohibitively expensive. It would be cheaper just to hire an employee.
Posts: 60,021

09-01-2009, 09:20 PM	#27
TrebMaxx Supporter Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Peoples Republic of CoMo Casino cash: $-2422748	To what I would think is the majority of us working class folks. Are we not slaves to some degree already?
Posts: 4,460

09-01-2009, 09:24 PM	#29
Pioli Zombie Banned Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: olathe,kansas Casino cash: $10004900	Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh....I'm gonna git me a shotgun and kill all the whiteys I seeee. I'm gonna git me a shotgun so they won't bother meeee.... Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 11,077

09-01-2009, 09:25 PM	#30
kysirsoze SNAP THE ****ING BALL!!! Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: KCMO Casino cash: $66946	There sure are a bunch of entertaining threads today.
Posts: 11,972

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