Does the "no contact" rule work?

[The Bad Guy]

Sounds like she was looking for a way out, but didn't want to tell you because of the reaction. She tried using words like break to give herself an out but your reaction wasn't a great one on your part either. Telling someone they should know what they want after 1.5 years is a crock.

Cut bait and move on.

[Demonpenz]

Next that woman and get another one. If she coes back it is on your conditions, but personally I just give them the one strike rule and they are OUT.

[Iowanian]

The question you need to be asking is where you are going with your pals this weekend and who will be your first slump buster....

Don't waste any more time on that gal. It's not even worth being angry or sad. Just move on and learn.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

I'm actually kind of going through this same scenario right now but in my case we may be getting to the "she comes back" stage. My gf from 2 years ago and I broke up mostly because she needed to focus on fixing some things in her life through counseling and such and really wasn't good at having a relationship when we were together. So on she went to get the help she needed... we've both dated since and now are both single again. She's still in counseling and maybe always will be but she has made significant progress in 2 years.

Now it's just kind of happened that we're talking a lot again lately and she's calling me the old nicknames that she did when we were together. Neither of us has even mentioned giving it another try but the undercurrent of that seems to exist and I'm honestly not sure how I feel about that. Maybe it will be nothing but maybe it will be something. I don't think either of us feels the need to put a definition on it or any added pressure at this point, which is fine. I'm not sure if I want her back or if I'm just mesmerized by the redheaded, freckles thing lol.

There, that was my luv overshare for the week.



My advice to you GOT is to move on and assume she's not coming back. Don't count on it, don't plan on it, don't even think about it if you can help it. If it happens naturally that you and her get back together then fine, but in the meantime you still only get one life so don't waste time wanting something that's gone and may never come back. You might just miss something better in the process.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by Dr. noonanbeermefever

I'm actually kind of going through this same scenario right now but in my case we may be getting to the "she comes back" stage. My gf from 2 years ago and I broke up mostly because she needed to focus on fixing some things in her life through counseling and such and really wasn't good at having a relationship when we were together. So on she went to get the help she needed... we've both dated since and now are both single again. She's still in counseling and maybe always will be but she has made significant progress in 2 years.

Now it's just kind of happened that we're talking a lot again lately and she's calling me the old nicknames that she did when we were together. Neither of us has even mentioned giving it another try but the undercurrent of that seems to exist and I'm honestly not sure how I feel about that. Maybe it will be nothing but maybe it will be something. I don't think either of us feels the need to put a definition on it or any added pressure at this point, which is fine. I'm not sure if I want her back or if I'm just mesmerized by the redheaded, freckles thing lol.

There, that was my luv overshare for the week.



My advice to you GOT is to move on and assume she's not coming back. Don't count on it, don't plan on it, don't even think about it if you can help it. If it happens naturally that you and her get back together then fine, but in the meantime you still only get one life so don't waste time wanting something that's gone and may never come back. You might just miss something better in the process.

I'll wager I'm not the only one seeing this throughout your entire post bm

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I'll wager I'm not the only one seeing this throughout your entire post bm

Most of my friends would agree. Like I said I don't even actively want her back but I won't lie and say I'm totally uninterested in the idea either. I do care about her whether we're a couple or not. I don't know. I'd like to think I'm smarter than I used to be but maybe I'd just like to think that.

[Iowanian]

She went on a date, if you ever kiss her again, you're probably catching some 2nd hand pecker.


If I had a hot tub time machine, I'd go back to 1995 and slap myself and do what I'm telling you to do instead of what I did.

[God of Thunder]

There's a lot the relationship that was bad. She started lying constantly about petty shit. The conversation in my original post happened on Sunday night, and I have not spoke to her since then. I dropped her stuff off Monday to her mother who tried to pry about the situation. I don't want her back.....I couldn't take her back. She even made a comment that said "yes, I went on a date with him, and I kissed him" and she made another comment....."I wish you'd just go sleep with someone else to get over me"......very hateful

What I want most, is that revenge. I want her to see she ****ed up, try to get me back, and I just smile and say "no"

[htismaqe]

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

There's a lot the relationship that was bad. She started lying constantly about petty shit. The conversation in my original post happened on Sunday night, and I have not spoke to her since then. I dropped her stuff off Monday to her mother who tried to pry about the situation. I don't want her back.....I couldn't take her back. She even made a comment that said "yes, I went on a date with him, and I kissed him" and she made another comment....."I wish you'd just go sleep with someone else to get over me"......very hateful

What I want most, is that revenge. I want her to see she ****ed up, try to get me back, and I just smile and say "no"

In that case, I'd say you have a 50/50 shot, maybe better, of getting the chance.

Odds are that the new guy isn't all the great so she'll eventually call.

[The Bad Guy]

Originally Posted by htismaqe

In that case, I'd say you have a 50/50 shot, maybe better, of getting the chance.

Odds are that the new guy isn't all the great so she'll eventually call.

The novelty will wear off with the new guy and she'll seek familiar territory. But what I think the OP will do is take her back.

I don't think he has it in him right now to tell her no.

[BigCatDaddy]

Originally Posted by htismaqe

In that case, I'd say you have a 50/50 shot, maybe better, of getting the chance.

Odds are that the new guy isn't all the great so she'll eventually call.

I'd say better then 20/20 chance.

[The Bad Guy]

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

There's a lot the relationship that was bad. She started lying constantly about petty shit. The conversation in my original post happened on Sunday night, and I have not spoke to her since then. I dropped her stuff off Monday to her mother who tried to pry about the situation. I don't want her back.....I couldn't take her back. She even made a comment that said "yes, I went on a date with him, and I kissed him" and she made another comment....."I wish you'd just go sleep with someone else to get over me"......very hateful

What I want most, is that revenge. I want her to see she ****ed up, try to get me back, and I just smile and say "no"

None of that will work. Everyone privately wants that after a breakup, but it never really ever turns out that way.

What you should want is to go out with buddies and have the time of your life and realize these are the prime years.

[rtmike]

She wanted the break to keep you on a leash in case things don't work out the way she wants.

I've been there. With a couple chicks the one thing they couldn't stand to see was me with someone else. They didn't want me but they didn't want anyone else to have me either.

If she really cares, she'd be calling the next day after seeing you with someone. At that time you can make your next move.

Good luck. It's prolly an effed up time in your life right now but time heals all wounds.

As my Mom always told me, "Keep your chin up!".

[FAX]

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

There's a lot the relationship that was bad. She started lying constantly about petty shit. The conversation in my original post happened on Sunday night, and I have not spoke to her since then. I dropped her stuff off Monday to her mother who tried to pry about the situation. I don't want her back.....I couldn't take her back. She even made a comment that said "yes, I went on a date with him, and I kissed him" and she made another comment....."I wish you'd just go sleep with someone else to get over me"......very hateful

What I want most, is that revenge. I want her to see she ****ed up, try to get me back, and I just smile and say "no"

The part about lying is bad, man. Real bad. Never, ever stay with a girl who lies to you ... it will always end badly.

The part about revenge is bad, too. No offense, but that's kind of immature for a God of Thunder. Stop thinking about revenge and start thinking about improving your own life.

FAX

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

There's a lot the relationship that was bad. She started lying constantly about petty shit. The conversation in my original post happened on Sunday night, and I have not spoke to her since then. I dropped her stuff off Monday to her mother who tried to pry about the situation. I don't want her back.....I couldn't take her back. She even made a comment that said "yes, I went on a date with him, and I kissed him" and she made another comment....."I wish you'd just go sleep with someone else to get over me"......very hateful

What I want most, is that revenge. I want her to see she ****ed up, try to get me back, and I just smile and say "no"

Strong emotions show that you care, whether they are positive or negative.

I know you want to make the bitch pay (been there, done that, we've all been kicked to the curb before), but NOTHING GOOD WILL COME FROM IT. It's over - move on. Be glad you'll never be paying the bitch alimony or child support.

However, this is all easier said than done. And I fully expect you'll ignore all the good advice you receive in this thread, because that's just the way it works. The best life lessons are the painful ones, and pain that hurt me doesn't hurt you. So when you **** up and sink even lower, just remember that we'll all be here to say I TOLD YOU SO.