Misc Does the "no contact" rule work? - Page 3

God of Thunder · 11:39 AM

We've all had those breakups! The ones you didn't see coming, or the ones you did and didn't do anything about it! For whatever reason though, your friends, family, and everyone else always seem to say...

"Do NOT contact them, and in time, they'll come running and begging back"

This always seems strange, however, I think it generally holds true. Once you're gone, you start to mean more to that person. Once you know longer think about it, they tend to come flying back.

Do you all find this to be true or not?

FAX · 02-08-2012, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

There's a lot the relationship that was bad. She started lying constantly about petty shit. The conversation in my original post happened on Sunday night, and I have not spoke to her since then. I dropped her stuff off Monday to her mother who tried to pry about the situation. I don't want her back.....I couldn't take her back. She even made a comment that said "yes, I went on a date with him, and I kissed him" and she made another comment....."I wish you'd just go sleep with someone else to get over me"......very hateful

What I want most, is that revenge. I want her to see she ****ed up, try to get me back, and I just smile and say "no"

The part about lying is bad, man. Real bad. Never, ever stay with a girl who lies to you ... it will always end badly.

The part about revenge is bad, too. No offense, but that's kind of immature for a God of Thunder. Stop thinking about revenge and start thinking about improving your own life.

FAX

**The Bad Guy** · 02-08-2012, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by htismaqe

In that case, I'd say you have a 50/50 shot, maybe better, of getting the chance.

Odds are that the new guy isn't all the great so she'll eventually call.

The novelty will wear off with the new guy and she'll seek familiar territory. But what I think the OP will do is take her back.

I don't think he has it in him right now to tell her no.

stonedstooge · 02-08-2012, 11:03 AM

Take the high road. Let it Be

**Iowanian** · 02-08-2012, 11:05 AM

Don't waste your time with that shit.....just move on.

I wasted a few months of my life being butt hurt, angry and crazy. None of it helped.

What did help was getting back with my buddies and spending my summer on a rebound tour.

Just let that little bird fly and call the buddies you haven't spent much time with the last year. In the big picture, 1.5yrs is a blip on the radar of your life and 10 years from now you'll not think twice about this broad.

Maybe you'll luck out and the new guy will have a Mike N Ike for a pecker.

The best revenge you can have is to just move on and be happy.

Chiefnj2 · 02-08-2012, 11:06 AM

Let it be.

She's going to come back. When she does, you must stay strong. Don't waiver. Your first response is, "I'll consider taking you back, but it's gotta be a threesome."

When the threesome is over tell her you think you like her girlfriend better because "she's not you."

winning.

Dr. Johnny Fever · 02-08-2012, 11:07 AM

I'm actually kind of going through this same scenario right now but in my case we may be getting to the "she comes back" stage. My gf from 2 years ago and I broke up mostly because she needed to focus on fixing some things in her life through counseling and such and really wasn't good at having a relationship when we were together. So on she went to get the help she needed... we've both dated since and now are both single again. She's still in counseling and maybe always will be but she has made significant progress in 2 years.

Now it's just kind of happened that we're talking a lot again lately and she's calling me the old nicknames that she did when we were together. Neither of us has even mentioned giving it another try but the undercurrent of that seems to exist and I'm honestly not sure how I feel about that. Maybe it will be nothing but maybe it will be something. I don't think either of us feels the need to put a definition on it or any added pressure at this point, which is fine. I'm not sure if I want her back or if I'm just mesmerized by the redheaded, freckles thing lol.

There, that was my luv overshare for the week.

My advice to you GOT is to move on and assume she's not coming back. Don't count on it, don't plan on it, don't even think about it if you can help it. If it happens naturally that you and her get back together then fine, but in the meantime you still only get one life so don't waste time wanting something that's gone and may never come back. You might just miss something better in the process.

htismaqe · 02-08-2012, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chiefnj2

Let it be.

She's going to come back. When she does, you must stay strong. Don't waiver. Your first response is, "I'll consider taking you back, but it's gotta be a threesome."

When the threesome is over tell her you think you like her girlfriend better because "she's not you."

winning.

**Iowanian** · 02-08-2012, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. noonanbeermefever

I'm actually kind of going through this same scenario right now but in my case we may be getting to the "she comes back" stage. My gf from 2 years ago and I broke up mostly because she needed to focus on fixing some things in her life through counseling and such and really wasn't good at having a relationship when we were together. So on she went to get the help she needed... we've both dated since and now are both single again. She's still in counseling and maybe always will be but she has made significant progress in 2 years.

Now it's just kind of happened that we're talking a lot again lately and she's calling me the old nicknames that she did when we were together. Neither of us has even mentioned giving it another try but the undercurrent of that seems to exist and I'm honestly not sure how I feel about that. Maybe it will be nothing but maybe it will be something. I don't think either of us feels the need to put a definition on it or any added pressure at this point, which is fine. I'm not sure if I want her back or if I'm just mesmerized by the redheaded, freckles thing lol.

There, that was my luv overshare for the week.

My advice to you GOT is to move on and assume she's not coming back. Don't count on it, don't plan on it, don't even think about it if you can help it. If it happens naturally that you and her get back together then fine, but in the meantime you still only get one life so don't waste time wanting something that's gone and may never come back. You might just miss something better in the process.

I'll wager I'm not the only one seeing this throughout your entire post bm

Dr. Johnny Fever · 02-08-2012, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I'll wager I'm not the only one seeing this throughout your entire post bm

Most of my friends would agree. Like I said I don't even actively want her back but I won't lie and say I'm totally uninterested in the idea either. I do care about her whether we're a couple or not. I don't know. I'd like to think I'm smarter than I used to be but maybe I'd just like to think that.

Frazod · 02-08-2012, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

There's a lot the relationship that was bad. She started lying constantly about petty shit. The conversation in my original post happened on Sunday night, and I have not spoke to her since then. I dropped her stuff off Monday to her mother who tried to pry about the situation. I don't want her back.....I couldn't take her back. She even made a comment that said "yes, I went on a date with him, and I kissed him" and she made another comment....."I wish you'd just go sleep with someone else to get over me"......very hateful

What I want most, is that revenge. I want her to see she ****ed up, try to get me back, and I just smile and say "no"

Strong emotions show that you care, whether they are positive or negative.

I know you want to make the bitch pay (been there, done that, we've all been kicked to the curb before), but NOTHING GOOD WILL COME FROM IT. It's over - move on. Be glad you'll never be paying the bitch alimony or child support.

However, this is all easier said than done. And I fully expect you'll ignore all the good advice you receive in this thread, because that's just the way it works. The best life lessons are the painful ones, and pain that hurt me doesn't hurt you. So when you **** up and sink even lower, just remember that we'll all be here to say I TOLD YOU SO.

**Predarat** · 02-08-2012, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by el borracho

Does the "no contact" rule work?

No, nothing works. People are selfish a-holes, incapable of honoring long-term commitments. Get together, get disappointed, break up. Then do it all again with someone else.

Hope that clears it up for you.

This is true. Even if it does work its just temporary and it will happen again and the cycle will continue. The desire for one to leave is for a reason.

God of Thunder · 02-08-2012, 11:27 AM

I am doing my best at moving on. Monday night I went and played bar poker, tuesday I went to my buddies and played ping pong. Tonight i'm chilling at home, Tomorrow I will be at a bar.

I am trying to move on like i'll never speak to her again. It's hard that she ended it the way she did, and then admitted to dating someone else....that's whats making this hard. The revenge part may be childish, but I feel like she deserves it.

And FAX, it wasn't just lying. It was lying about stupid shit.

She'd claim "I am going to Houlihans with my work friends" and i'd say "okay!" and I was in the area, and drove by there to see if she was there (I had suspicions she was seeing someone else at this time) and she WAS NOT THERE!! when I confronted her about it later, she said "fine.....we actually went to a movie, and I was scared to tell you because you always invite me to movies and I say no"

Then, couple days later, she said she was having "ladies" night at Whiskey tango. Well, I went with some of my friends, and on teh way home from the Casino, they stopped by there. Needless to say, SHE WAS NOT THERE. I had a stamp on my hand showing I paid cover, when I met up with her later that night, I asked to see her hands like I was going to say something important.........I asked her what she did at WT, and she said "we just watched people dance!" and then I sprung it on her! NO STAMP ON THE HAND. She then admitted they actually went to power and light..............so trust me, there was A LOT of red flags,and I just kept allowing it.

**Predarat** · 02-08-2012, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

It's hard to move on......especially since I did and DIDN'T see it coming. The signs were there, and I knew it.......I just assumed we were in a rut.

On Friday, she claimed she wanted a "break, not a breakup" so she could clear her head for awhile and determine what she wanted. I told her a break was another word for breakup. Sunday came (sunday night) and I called her and was mad. Told her after 1-1/2 years she should know what she wants. She then claimed she went on a date Friday and liked it, and wanted more time. I said "how could you go on a date when we're together?" and she said "you said it was a breakup!" She then gave me this BS about how she's hasnt' felt our connection for awhile, and thought that she didn't love me like she used to.

She said "how about when you get back from Florida, we consider going on a date to see how things go?".....now keep in mind, i leave for Florida this monday, and return next friday.

I was already against this and said "are you going to keep dating this guy in the meantime?" and she said "yes, I like him......he's not you"

So i'm rather hurt. I'm confused.

Don't be confused, shes gone, tell her to go to hell.

BigCatDaddy · 02-08-2012, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by htismaqe

In that case, I'd say you have a 50/50 shot, maybe better, of getting the chance.

Odds are that the new guy isn't all the great so she'll eventually call.

I'd say better then 20/20 chance.

**Iowanian** · 02-08-2012, 11:30 AM

She's been shagging that other dude for a while.

It's easier to say than do, but just move on.

Go do something cool that YOU have always wanted to do. I skydived as part of my list and it was everything I thought it would be. Going to the bar is fine, just don't move into a bottle.

View Poll Results: Does the "no contact" rule work?
Yes, it works.	15	37.50%
No, it doesn't work.	25	62.50%
Voters: 40. You may not vote on this poll

02-08-2012, 09:09 AM
God of Thunder Trained to reign as the one. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Casino cash: $8849344	GF and I broke up! Update PG 10. We've all had those breakups! The ones you didn't see coming, or the ones you did and didn't do anything about it! For whatever reason though, your friends, family, and everyone else always seem to say... "Do NOT contact them, and in time, they'll come running and begging back" This always seems strange, however, I think it generally holds true. Once you're gone, you start to mean more to that person. Once you know longer think about it, they tend to come flying back. Do you all find this to be true or not? Last edited by God of Thunder; 02-10-2012 at 11:39 AM..
Posts: 1,489

02-08-2012, 11:03 AM	#33
stonedstooge Arf! Arf! Arf! Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: North Casino cash: $3824173	Take the high road. Let it Be __________________ 2013 ADOPT A CHIEF Eric Kush "Often is a word I seldom use"--JP
Posts: 25,289

02-08-2012, 11:05 AM	#34
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1688454	Don't waste your time with that shit.....just move on. I wasted a few months of my life being butt hurt, angry and crazy. None of it helped. What did help was getting back with my buddies and spending my summer on a rebound tour. Just let that little bird fly and call the buddies you haven't spent much time with the last year. In the big picture, 1.5yrs is a blip on the radar of your life and 10 years from now you'll not think twice about this broad. Maybe you'll luck out and the new guy will have a Mike N Ike for a pecker. The best revenge you can have is to just move on and be happy.
Posts: 62,943

02-08-2012, 11:06 AM	#35
Chiefnj2 In Search of a Life Join Date: Mar 2007 Casino cash: $6654388	Let it be. She's going to come back. When she does, you must stay strong. Don't waiver. Your first response is, "I'll consider taking you back, but it's gotta be a threesome." When the threesome is over tell her you think you like her girlfriend better because "she's not you." winning. __________________ Mismanaging the clock.
Posts: 22,541

02-08-2012, 11:07 AM	#36
Dr. Johnny Fever stax of wax Join Date: Feb 2004 Casino cash: $10004900	I'm actually kind of going through this same scenario right now but in my case we may be getting to the "she comes back" stage. My gf from 2 years ago and I broke up mostly because she needed to focus on fixing some things in her life through counseling and such and really wasn't good at having a relationship when we were together. So on she went to get the help she needed... we've both dated since and now are both single again. She's still in counseling and maybe always will be but she has made significant progress in 2 years. Now it's just kind of happened that we're talking a lot again lately and she's calling me the old nicknames that she did when we were together. Neither of us has even mentioned giving it another try but the undercurrent of that seems to exist and I'm honestly not sure how I feel about that. Maybe it will be nothing but maybe it will be something. I don't think either of us feels the need to put a definition on it or any added pressure at this point, which is fine. I'm not sure if I want her back or if I'm just mesmerized by the redheaded, freckles thing lol. There, that was my luv overshare for the week. My advice to you GOT is to move on and assume she's not coming back. Don't count on it, don't plan on it, don't even think about it if you can help it. If it happens naturally that you and her get back together then fine, but in the meantime you still only get one life so don't waste time wanting something that's gone and may never come back. You might just miss something better in the process. __________________ courtesy of BoneKrusher "Baseball? It's just a game. As simple as a ball and bat, yet as complex as the American spirit it symbolizes. It's a sport, a business and sometimes a religion." Ernie Harwell
Posts: 34,865

02-08-2012, 11:27 AM	#42
God of Thunder Trained to reign as the one. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Casino cash: $8849344	I am doing my best at moving on. Monday night I went and played bar poker, tuesday I went to my buddies and played ping pong. Tonight i'm chilling at home, Tomorrow I will be at a bar. I am trying to move on like i'll never speak to her again. It's hard that she ended it the way she did, and then admitted to dating someone else....that's whats making this hard. The revenge part may be childish, but I feel like she deserves it. And FAX, it wasn't just lying. It was lying about stupid shit. She'd claim "I am going to Houlihans with my work friends" and i'd say "okay!" and I was in the area, and drove by there to see if she was there (I had suspicions she was seeing someone else at this time) and she WAS NOT THERE!! when I confronted her about it later, she said "fine.....we actually went to a movie, and I was scared to tell you because you always invite me to movies and I say no" Then, couple days later, she said she was having "ladies" night at Whiskey tango. Well, I went with some of my friends, and on teh way home from the Casino, they stopped by there. Needless to say, SHE WAS NOT THERE. I had a stamp on my hand showing I paid cover, when I met up with her later that night, I asked to see her hands like I was going to say something important.........I asked her what she did at WT, and she said "we just watched people dance!" and then I sprung it on her! NO STAMP ON THE HAND. She then admitted they actually went to power and light..............so trust me, there was A LOT of red flags,and I just kept allowing it.
Posts: 1,489

02-08-2012, 11:30 AM	#45
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1688454	She's been shagging that other dude for a while. It's easier to say than do, but just move on. Go do something cool that YOU have always wanted to do. I skydived as part of my list and it was everything I thought it would be. Going to the bar is fine, just don't move into a bottle.
Posts: 62,943