GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!

[gblowfish]

Or I'll kill you.

Man is accused of shooting neighbor over dog's accident

By Steve Schmadeke and Lolly Bowean
CHICAGO TRIBUNE
05/11/2010


CHICAGO -- A retired former Marine who neighbors say obsessed over his lawn is being held on $3 million bond, accused of gunning down a neighbor whose puppy allegedly urinated on the man's well-manicured grass.

Charles J. Clements, 69, of University Park routinely wins the Chicago suburb's beautification and lawn upkeep award but is also known for threatening children or adults who dare set foot in his yard, neighbors said.

On Sunday night, Joshua Funches, a 23-year-old father of two, was walking his fox terrier Gucci when the dog lifted its leg and urinated on Clements' lawn, said Funches' mother, Patricia, 53.

The two men began arguing and at some point, Clements, a retired bus driver, pulled out a pistol and pointed it at Funches, said Will County assistant state's attorney Sondra Denmark.

Witnesses said Funches then said to Clements, "Next time you pull out a pistol, why don't you use it?" Denmark said. At that point, witnesses said they saw orange and white light and heard a loud noise. They saw Funches fall to the ground.

"It was all over a little wooden plaque," said an emotional Patricia Funches, referring to the town's beautification award. "It was a senseless death. How can you take a life for a piece of wood?"

Clements then walked home and changed his clothes. When University Park police arrived, they found the master landscaper in his garage with the door open.

"I knew you were coming for me," he told police, according to Denmark. "That's why I changed my clothes. I knew you were coming for me."

Neighbors were shocked that such deadly violence could have stemmed from a minor fight.

"It hurt me pretty bad, to see a person killed over something so petty," said Joanne Byers, who lives across the street from where Funches died.

Funches had two children, ages 1 and 4, with another due to be born in August, his mother said.

Byers said her own son had a run-in with Clements, once accidentally stepping on the man's grass while walking and chatting on his cell phone.

"Man, he popped out and called, 'Hey watch it _ watch it!' " said Byers.

Judge Marzell Richardson ordered Clements, who has no criminal history, held in lieu of $3 million bond Tuesday on first and second-degree murder charges. He noted that Clements allegedly told his victim he would be found innocent if arrested.

[L.A. Chieffan]

if youre over say 55 and served in the military in any capacity i believe you should have diplomatic immunity.

[CosmicPal]

Originally Posted by Metrolike

See, neither your dog nor you would be getting shot. That was my whole point. Respect your ****ing elders. ESPECIALLY if that elder is a Marine threatening you with a gun.

Dude...first of all, I'm arguing the fact that you would feel so inclined to shoot my dog should I disrespect you as an elder. Just because the kid showed the guy disrespect doesn't mean he should get a face full of lead.

I agree the kid should have shown him a lot more respect- but that doesn't mean he deserves to get shot because he's disrespectful.

[Pants]

Originally Posted by CosmicPal

Dude...first of all, I'm arguing the fact that you would feel so inclined to shoot my dog should I disrespect you as an elder. Just because the kid showed the guy disrespect doesn't mean he should get a face full of lead.

I agree the kid should have shown him a lot more respect- but that doesn't mean he deserves to get shot because he's disrespectful.

No shit. I told you it was insane. I believe the better course of action would have been to shoot the dog after being challenged to use the gun. Then stick the hot barrel into the dudes forehead and tell him he's next. He promptly shits his pants, gets a burn on his forehead and learns a life lesson.

[suds79]

Originally Posted by Metrolike

See, neither your dog nor you would be getting shot. That was my whole point. Respect your ****ing elders. ESPECIALLY if that elder is a Marine threatening you with a gun.

Doesn't have a thing to do with "respecting your elders".

The moral of the story is when a crazy F#@& pulls a gun on you (regardless of age), you do whatever you can to apologize or comply to get out of dangers way. Then call the cops on his @$$ the moment you're free.

[CosmicPal]

Originally Posted by Metrolike

I believe the better course of action would have been to shoot the dog after being challenged to use the gun. Then stick the hot barrel into the dudes forehead and tell him he's next. He promptly shits his pants, gets a burn on his forehead and learns a life lesson.

NOOOO! That is NOT the better course of action! The old man, even after being told by the kid to shoot him in the head next time should have told him to "***** Off!" and walked back into his house!

You don't shoot people or pets because someone threatened you to take THEIR life! The kid didn't threaten the old geezer! He simply disrespected him and told him to shoot him next time it happens. And you advocate that behavior????

[Cannibal]

Originally Posted by CosmicPal

NOOOO! That is NOT the better course of action! The old man, even after being told by the kid to shoot him in the head next time should have told him to "***** Off!" and walked back into his house!

You don't shoot people or pets because someone threatened you to take THEIR life! The kid didn't threaten the old geezer! He simply disrespected him and told him to shoot him next time it happens. And you advocate that behavior????

It's tough guy internet talk is all. He's being a douche.

[suds79]

Originally Posted by Metrolike

I believe the better course of action would have been to shoot the dog ....

You see we can stop right there. Trust me when I say you're wrong. You just are.

Outside of defending yourself or your family in a life threatening situation (ex: a home break in), there's really no situation where you should ever pull a gun. I really hope you get that.

[Pants]

Originally Posted by CosmicPal

NOOOO! That is NOT the better course of action! The old man, even after being told by the kid to shoot him in the head next time should have told him to "***** Off!" and walked back into his house!

You don't shoot people or pets because someone threatened you to take THEIR life! The kid didn't threaten the old geezer! He simply disrespected him and told him to shoot him next time it happens. And you advocate that behavior????

No, I advocate shooting a dog over a human being if you're going to shoot something to prove your point. I think it would have been better to shoot the dog instead of killing the owner. There's no way you can say shooting a dog is NOT a better course of action over shooting the guy.

[HemiEd]

Originally Posted by Bugeater

In all seriousness, there is a significant lack of respect for other people's property by many pet owners. Someone in my neighborhood walks their big-ass dog really early in the morning and I occasionally find their monster turds when I'm mowing. I swear to god when I find out who it is the next turd will be returned to them on their doorstep.

I agree, it is wrong, and I get irritated by that very thing myself. Even worse, our dog smells markings of the other dogs, and feels he needs to remark his territory.
But this guy was way over the top of course. Somehow Skip got that reputation, but he clearly pointed out one time, that he didn't care about his lawn. In fact, he said he purposely watered his neighbors yard, so they would have to mow, and he didn't.

[Mama Hip Rockets]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

Witnesses said Funches then said to Clements, "Next time you pull out a pistol, why don't you use it?"

Wow. What an idiot.

[Sofa King]

Originally Posted by Metrolike

No, I advocate shooting a dog over a human being if you're going to shoot something to prove your point. I think it would have been better to shoot the dog instead of killing the owner. There's no way you can say shooting a dog is NOT a better course of action over shooting the guy.

He shouldn't have drawn a gun in the first place, and he sure as hell shouldn't be shooting the person or the dog with it... just to "prove a point"....


you like your gun rights???? well everytime something stupid like this happens, you come one step closer to losing them...

i dont care if you shot the gun off in the air next to them... bottom line, this is grass that we're talking about.... the dude didn't sleep with the old guys wife or anything, his dog pissed on some grass.... not like he was going to be able to pinch the dog off....

[Pants]

Originally Posted by Sofa King

He shouldn't have drawn a gun in the first place, and he sure as hell shouldn't be shooting the person or the dog with it... just to "prove a point"....


you like your gun rights???? well everytime something stupid like this happens, you come one step closer to losing them...

i dont care if you shot the gun off in the air next to them... bottom line, this is grass that we're talking about.... the dude didn't sleep with the old guys wife or anything, his dog pissed on some grass.... not like he was going to be able to pinch the dog off....

Did you even read my posts? I'm not repeating myself.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Metrolike

No, I advocate shooting a dog over a human being if you're going to shoot something to prove your point. I think it would have been better to shoot the dog instead of killing the owner. There's no way you can say shooting a dog is NOT a better course of action over shooting the guy.

Unless the guy is shooting himself. The ideal solution would've been for him to get mad, pull out his gun, put it in his mouth, and really show the world how much he cared about his lawn.

[Pants]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Unless the guy is shooting himself. The ideal solution would've been for him to get mad, pull out his gun, put it in his mouth, and really show the world how much he cared about his lawn.

I still think the ideal solution would have been the 23-year old apologizing and walking back home before the gun was even brought up.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Metrolike

I still think the ideal solution would have been the 23-year old apologizing and walking back home before the gun was even brought up.

Possibly. But then the Marine would've shot the mailman. He was kind of destined to shoot somebody, I think.