News GET OFF MY LAWN!!!! - Page 3

**gblowfish** · 05-14-2010, 08:30 AM

Or I'll kill you.

Man is accused of shooting neighbor over dog's accident

By Steve Schmadeke and Lolly Bowean
CHICAGO TRIBUNE
05/11/2010

CHICAGO -- A retired former Marine who neighbors say obsessed over his lawn is being held on $3 million bond, accused of gunning down a neighbor whose puppy allegedly urinated on the man's well-manicured grass.

Charles J. Clements, 69, of University Park routinely wins the Chicago suburb's beautification and lawn upkeep award but is also known for threatening children or adults who dare set foot in his yard, neighbors said.

On Sunday night, Joshua Funches, a 23-year-old father of two, was walking his fox terrier Gucci when the dog lifted its leg and urinated on Clements' lawn, said Funches' mother, Patricia, 53.

The two men began arguing and at some point, Clements, a retired bus driver, pulled out a pistol and pointed it at Funches, said Will County assistant state's attorney Sondra Denmark.

Witnesses said Funches then said to Clements, "Next time you pull out a pistol, why don't you use it?" Denmark said. At that point, witnesses said they saw orange and white light and heard a loud noise. They saw Funches fall to the ground.

"It was all over a little wooden plaque," said an emotional Patricia Funches, referring to the town's beautification award. "It was a senseless death. How can you take a life for a piece of wood?"

Clements then walked home and changed his clothes. When University Park police arrived, they found the master landscaper in his garage with the door open.

"I knew you were coming for me," he told police, according to Denmark. "That's why I changed my clothes. I knew you were coming for me."

Neighbors were shocked that such deadly violence could have stemmed from a minor fight.

"It hurt me pretty bad, to see a person killed over something so petty," said Joanne Byers, who lives across the street from where Funches died.

Funches had two children, ages 1 and 4, with another due to be born in August, his mother said.

Byers said her own son had a run-in with Clements, once accidentally stepping on the man's grass while walking and chatting on his cell phone.

"Man, he popped out and called, 'Hey watch it _ watch it!' " said Byers.

Judge Marzell Richardson ordered Clements, who has no criminal history, held in lieu of $3 million bond Tuesday on first and second-degree murder charges. He noted that Clements allegedly told his victim he would be found innocent if arrested.

**Rain Man** · 05-14-2010, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hydrae

You would think he could have winged the guy though instead of going for a kill shot. At least then he might be able to get out to see his lawn someday.

I would think that would get you made fun of at Marine reunions. Marines don't exist to wing people.

Frazod · 05-14-2010, 09:49 AM

The story I heard was that the killer went back into his house and retrieved his gun, followed the guy down the street and then shot him.

Cranky old bastard overly concerned about his yard? Without a doubt.

But it was disrespect that got this kid killed. If the initial response is "Sorry, sir, won't happen again" instead of "**** you, mother****er, my ****in dog will piss where it want to, you old mother****er," this kid would still be alive.

Cannibal · 05-14-2010, 09:50 AM

Our mailman walks through our front yard every day. I do get a little tired of it but it's not hurting anything and at least so far it's not wearing out a path to the next house. Although if it does, I will politely ask him to walk around the grass or I'll just move the mailbox to the curb.

Hydrae · 05-14-2010, 09:50 AM

Wait a second, aren't handguns illegal in Chicago?

Radar Chief · 05-14-2010, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hydrae

You would think he could have winged the guy though instead of going for a kill shot. At least then he might be able to get out to see his lawn someday.

He should’ve just shot the dog. That seems to be the point of friction from the beginning.
Worst that happens then is an animal cruelty charge and maybe a “discharging firearms within city limits" ticket, for which he’s probably fined and spends a day or two in the pokey.

Chiefs Rool · 05-14-2010, 10:16 AM

A sad way for a man to die. RIP.

Radar Chief · 05-14-2010, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cannibal

Our mailman walks through our front yard every day. I do get a little tired of it but it's not hurting anything and at least so far it's not wearing out a path to the next house. Although if it does, I will politely ask him to walk around the grass or I'll just move the mailbox to the curb.

We're a dog family and have always had dogs around, probably always will. So I really don’t care if someone else’s dog hikes a leg in my yard. I’d prefer they don’t drop a steamer but realize shit happens.

Pants · 05-14-2010, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chiefs Rool

A sad way for a man to die. RIP.

It is. But people need to respect their ****ing elders. In no way am I justifying the killing, it was freaking insane, but had the victim shown a modicum of respect, he'd still be alive and kicking. If I was the old Marine and some young little whippersnapper was running his mouth at me, I would just shoot the dog and tell the owner he's next if he doesn't shut the **** up. That way, I still use my gun to answer his challenge AND teach him a life long lesson.

**CosmicPal** · 05-14-2010, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

But it was disrespect that got this kid killed. If the initial response is "Sorry, sir, won't happen again" instead of "**** you, mother****er, my ****in dog will piss where it want to, you old mother****er," this kid would still be alive.

This.

**CosmicPal** · 05-14-2010, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metrolike

It is. But people need to respect their ****ing elders. In no way am I justifying the killing, it was freaking insane, but had the victim shown a modicum of respect, he'd still be alive and kicking. If I was the old Marine and some young little whippersnapper was running his mouth at me, I would just shoot the dog and tell the owner he's next if he doesn't shut the **** up. That way, I still use my gun to answer his challenge AND teach him a life long lesson.

I can assure you that if you shot MY dog for whizzing on your lawn, then I'd kill you. There's absolutely NO reason to kill another human being or pet over a few words and an overinflated ego about your lawn.

I bring poop bags with me every time I walk my dog and I clean up after him. If someone shot my dog 'cause he took a whiz, I'd beat the *****ing living hell out of him.

Cannibal · 05-14-2010, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metrolike

It is. But people need to respect their ****ing elders. In no way am I justifying the killing, it was freaking insane, but had the victim shown a modicum of respect, he'd still be alive and kicking. If I was the old Marine and some young little whippersnapper was running his mouth at me, I would just shoot the dog and tell the owner he's next if he doesn't shut the **** up. That way, I still use my gun to answer his challenge AND teach him a life long lesson.

Then you're a ****ing moron.

L.A. Chieffan · 05-14-2010, 10:27 AM

i think they should let the old guy go free.

i mean after all, he IS an elder.

Pants · 05-14-2010, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CosmicPal

I can assure you that if you shot MY dog for whizzing on your lawn, then I'd kill you. There's absolutely NO reason to kill another human being or pet over a few words and an overinflated ego about your lawn.

I bring poop bags with me every time I walk my dog and I clean up after him. If someone shot my dog 'cause he took a whiz, I'd beat the *****ing living hell out of him.

Would you run your mouth at me if I had told you to keep your dog away from my lawn? Now, would you run your mouth at me after I threatened you with a gun?

**CosmicPal** · 05-14-2010, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metrolike

Would you run your mouth at me if I had told you to keep your dog away from my lawn?

***** no. I just had an incident yesterday about some dude wanting to sell me Xbox's and I walked away.

If it's your lawn and you tell me you don't want my dog pissing on it, then I'll nod and say I'll keep an eye on him next time and then walk off. I wouldn't dare him to shoot me.

Pants · 05-14-2010, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CosmicPal

***** no. I just had an incident yesterday about some dude wanting to sell me Xbox's and I walked away.

If it's your lawn and you tell me you don't want my dog pissing on it, then I'll nod and say I'll keep an eye on him next time and then walk off. I wouldn't dare him to shoot me.

See, neither your dog nor you would be getting shot. That was my whole point. Respect your ****ing elders. ESPECIALLY if that elder is a Marine threatening you with a gun.

05-14-2010, 08:30 AM
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $16856178 VARSITY	GET OFF MY LAWN!!!! Or I'll kill you. Man is accused of shooting neighbor over dog's accident By Steve Schmadeke and Lolly Bowean CHICAGO TRIBUNE 05/11/2010 CHICAGO -- A retired former Marine who neighbors say obsessed over his lawn is being held on $3 million bond, accused of gunning down a neighbor whose puppy allegedly urinated on the man's well-manicured grass. Charles J. Clements, 69, of University Park routinely wins the Chicago suburb's beautification and lawn upkeep award but is also known for threatening children or adults who dare set foot in his yard, neighbors said. On Sunday night, Joshua Funches, a 23-year-old father of two, was walking his fox terrier Gucci when the dog lifted its leg and urinated on Clements' lawn, said Funches' mother, Patricia, 53. The two men began arguing and at some point, Clements, a retired bus driver, pulled out a pistol and pointed it at Funches, said Will County assistant state's attorney Sondra Denmark. Witnesses said Funches then said to Clements, "Next time you pull out a pistol, why don't you use it?" Denmark said. At that point, witnesses said they saw orange and white light and heard a loud noise. They saw Funches fall to the ground. "It was all over a little wooden plaque," said an emotional Patricia Funches, referring to the town's beautification award. "It was a senseless death. How can you take a life for a piece of wood?" Clements then walked home and changed his clothes. When University Park police arrived, they found the master landscaper in his garage with the door open. "I knew you were coming for me," he told police, according to Denmark. "That's why I changed my clothes. I knew you were coming for me." Neighbors were shocked that such deadly violence could have stemmed from a minor fight. "It hurt me pretty bad, to see a person killed over something so petty," said Joanne Byers, who lives across the street from where Funches died. Funches had two children, ages 1 and 4, with another due to be born in August, his mother said. Byers said her own son had a run-in with Clements, once accidentally stepping on the man's grass while walking and chatting on his cell phone. "Man, he popped out and called, 'Hey watch it _ watch it!' " said Byers. Judge Marzell Richardson ordered Clements, who has no criminal history, held in lieu of $3 million bond Tuesday on first and second-degree murder charges. He noted that Clements allegedly told his victim he would be found innocent if arrested.
Posts: 41,023

05-14-2010, 09:49 AM	#32
Frazod Did you hear what I said? Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $-826615	The story I heard was that the killer went back into his house and retrieved his gun, followed the guy down the street and then shot him. Cranky old bastard overly concerned about his yard? Without a doubt. But it was disrespect that got this kid killed. If the initial response is "Sorry, sir, won't happen again" instead of "** you, motherer, my in dog will piss where it want to, you old mother**er," this kid would still be alive.
Posts: 121,791

05-14-2010, 09:50 AM	#33
Cannibal Better to burn out... Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Bible Thumping Country Casino cash: $10010618	Our mailman walks through our front yard every day. I do get a little tired of it but it's not hurting anything and at least so far it's not wearing out a path to the next house. Although if it does, I will politely ask him to walk around the grass or I'll just move the mailbox to the curb.
Posts: 9,306

05-14-2010, 09:50 AM	#34
Hydrae MVP Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Newport, Or Casino cash: $-1173000	Wait a second, aren't handguns illegal in Chicago? __________________ My 2024 Adopt-A-Chief: Rashee Rice
Posts: 14,861

05-14-2010, 10:16 AM	#36
Chiefs Rool Banned Join Date: May 2010 Location: Top City Casino cash: $10004900	A sad way for a man to die. RIP.
Posts: 1,543

05-14-2010, 10:27 AM	#42
L.A. Chieffan PLAY GOOD FOOTBALL Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: American Gardens Building Casino cash: $2688654	i think they should let the old guy go free. i mean after all, he IS an elder.
Posts: 17,400