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Old 06-14-2010, 06:50 PM   Topic Starter
Huffman83 Huffman83 is offline
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Marriage problems: First one to mention Anti-freeze wins
So....the wife is taking her 15 minute breather from a big fight in reference to finances. For the past 3 years, I've been the "bread winner." as in I pay the bills, buy dinner, entertainment...etc.

She has a lot of student loan dept that I was already aware of. However, some things I was not aware of initially was how much credit card debt she had due to her charging random shit to her credit card while she was a student.

Therefore I'm lucky to get $250 bucks a month from her in order to pay bills.

Between mortgage, insurance, utilities, entertainment, (cable,internet etc.) cell/phone bills. 58% of my earnings goes towards house bills. Not to mention food, gas and my own personal debt.

The wife gets a new job and is making more money. COOL!!!! Initially she states she'll be able to give me double of what she can. I'm still paying 45% of my monthly income. While she is only paying aprox 36 % of the bills. That's $500 bucks if you're still following.

I've been broke and barely able to make ends meet...and when the wife asks me to only give me $400 a month to help w/ bills and then we can start having kids in 2012. And I say no...that's bullshit, I'm at my wits end.

I'm still the asshole aren't I?
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Old 06-14-2010, 06:51 PM   #2
Reerun_KC Reerun_KC is offline
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WTF?

This is very strange?

We put all the money in one account, pay the bills and what ever is left we either save or do fun stuff with...
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Old 06-14-2010, 06:53 PM   #3
DeezNutz DeezNutz is offline
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Originally Posted by Reerun_KC View Post
WTF?

This is very strange?

We put all the money in one account, pay the bills and what ever is left we either save or do fun stuff with...
Yep.

I don't understand separate accounts in a marriage. It's "we." Nothing else. No "her money," and no "my money."

Recipe for disaster, IMO.
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Old 06-14-2010, 06:55 PM   #4
Reerun_KC Reerun_KC is offline
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Yep.

I don't understand separate accounts in a marriage. It's "we." Nothing else. No "her money" no "my money."

Recipe for disaster, IMO.
opens the floor for the arguement of your not paying enough around here... Or I paid this and did this, which didnt leave me any money, while you didnt pay this or that...


Nah, not worth it... We both deposit our checks in every friday, Pay the bills and then enjoy what little is left over....
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Old 06-14-2010, 07:50 PM   #5
Amnorix Amnorix is offline
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Originally Posted by Reerun_KC View Post
WTF?

This is very strange?

We put all the money in one account, pay the bills and what ever is left we either save or do fun stuff with...
Actually, I think your way (which is also mine) is old school, and alot more people do it the way Huffman describes.
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Old 06-14-2010, 07:54 PM   #6
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Actually, I think your way (which is also mine) is old school, and alot more people do it the way Huffman describes.
Sometimes Women's Lib is really Fing stupid. I swear that's the root of this whole stupid thing.

There's nothing individual about a marriage when it gets right down to it. If you're out there spending money on things against your wife's will just because it's in 'your' account, the marriage is probably not long for this earth anyway.

I just see absolutely no utility in individual accounts. Work together on your expenses and there's just no reason why both parties can't still get their own stuff and have their own nights out with friends, etc... without resorting to something as juvenile as separate accounts.

It's like when I would put pencils across the car seat as a child so my sister didn't get on 'my side' of the seat. Nut up and work together.
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Old 06-14-2010, 08:11 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by DJ's left nut View Post
Sometimes Women's Lib is really Fing stupid. I swear that's the root of this whole stupid thing.

There's nothing individual about a marriage when it gets right down to it. If you're out there spending money on things against your wife's will just because it's in 'your' account, the marriage is probably not long for this earth anyway.

I just see absolutely no utility in individual accounts. Work together on your expenses and there's just no reason why both parties can't still get their own stuff and have their own nights out with friends, etc... without resorting to something as juvenile as separate accounts.

It's like when I would put pencils across the car seat as a child so my sister didn't get on 'my side' of the seat. Nut up and work together.
I get that some couples have separate bank accounts for their own personal items. If both parties agreed to pool all their money but put a relatively small amount (as a percentage of net income) into their own accounts (presumably an equal amount for both people, regardless of who makes more), so they can buy each other gifts and spend on silly stuff, I get that.

But for the rest, I don't think it's juts women and women's lib who think of my money as mine, and yours as yours. It's a product of high divorce rates as much as anything else.
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Old 06-14-2010, 08:25 PM   #8
Huffman83 Huffman83 is offline
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Originally Posted by Amnorix View Post
I get that some couples have separate bank accounts for their own personal items. If both parties agreed to pool all their money but put a relatively small amount (as a percentage of net income) into their own accounts (presumably an equal amount for both people, regardless of who makes more), so they can buy each other gifts and spend on silly stuff, I get that.

But for the rest, I don't think it's juts women and women's lib who think of my money as mine, and yours as yours. It's a product of high divorce rates as much as anything else.
I see that as women's lib being responsible for the divorce rate.
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Old 06-14-2010, 09:46 PM   #9
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That's the way we do it. Dump the majority in a joint acct, and then each of us have our personal accounts we do what we please with. Makes it easy during xmas, b'days, anniversaries, etc., so you can buy something without it showing up and tipping the other one off its coming.

In today's age, with all the BS ya gotta go thru to make a living, knowing you have at least a little 'mad money' for totally discretionary spending makes the week go by a bit better.

But, I agree with others, you should know exactly how much she's out there. That affects not only your liability, but your ability to plan for things like cars, furniture, nice vacations, etc. Not to mention if she should be off work for a few months and her liabilities get dumped into your lap...
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Old 06-14-2010, 08:41 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Reerun_KC View Post
WTF?

This is very strange?

We put all the money in one account, pay the bills and what ever is left we either save or do fun stuff with...

No shit. What is all this "she gives me money for bills" stuff? You're married. They aren't your bills....or her bills...they are both your bills.
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Old 06-14-2010, 08:51 PM   #11
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Get her to cancel all her credit cards, take her check when it comes in, pay her bills for her, and give her an agreed upon amount from each check until the bills are all paid off.

if she gives you some nonsense about not being supportive of her, or about trust, or equality, point out that getting rid of her debt is going to put you into debt, and that she's not being supportive of you if she can't help you avoid that burden.

Frame the debate.
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Old 06-14-2010, 09:34 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Just Passin' By View Post
Get her to cancel all her credit cards, take her check when it comes in, pay her bills for her, and give her an agreed upon amount from each check until the bills are all paid off.

if she gives you some nonsense about not being supportive of her, or about trust, or equality, point out that getting rid of her debt is going to put you into debt, and that she's not being supportive of you if she can't help you avoid that burden.

Frame the debate.
.
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Old 06-15-2010, 09:29 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by Just Passin' By View Post
Get her to cancel all her credit cards, take her check when it comes in, pay her bills for her, and give her an agreed upon amount from each check until the bills are all paid off.

if she gives you some nonsense about not being supportive of her, or about trust, or equality, point out that getting rid of her debt is going to put you into debt, and that she's not being supportive of you if she can't help you avoid that burden.

Frame the debate.
worst post in the thread.
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Old 06-15-2010, 11:19 AM   #14
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worst post in the thread.
I'm assuming (hoping, really) that it was a joke.
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Old 06-15-2010, 07:26 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by Reerun_KC View Post
WTF?

This is very strange?

We put all the money in one account, pay the bills and what ever is left we either save or do fun stuff with...
us too.

everyone we know who have seperate accounts seem to always be complaining about $/ who pays what, etc.

it might work for some people, I'm sure. Just not for us.
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