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12-28-2013, 07:12 AM | |
Molôn Labé
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: North Carolina
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No beer led to ceramic squirrel stabbing
NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. (AP) - South Carolina authorities say a 44-year-old woman angry at a man for returning home without beer on Christmas beat and stabbed him with a ceramic squirrel.
The Charleston County Sheriff's office says in a report that deputies found a man covered with blood when they arrived at Helen Williams' North Charleston home early Wednesday. She told investigators the man fell and cut himself, but couldn't explain why her hands and clothes were also bloody. Deputies say the man said Williams was so angry when he returned without beer because stores were closed on Christmas Eve that she grabbed a ceramic squirrel, beat him in the head, then stabbed him in the shoulder and chest. Williams was in jail Friday and charged with criminal domestic violence. It wasn't known if she had a lawyer. http://www.myfoxdc.com/story/2431596...#ixzz2oie6Ua8p |
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12-28-2013, 07:15 AM | #2 |
Snacks Are Under My Apron
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The Edge
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****ing Nutts
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Free DeBerg HayWire Greatest Almost Mod Ever In big nasty kcnut we trust |
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12-28-2013, 07:22 AM | #3 |
Molôn Labé
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: North Carolina
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I bet he won't be stabbing her squirrel for a while either
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12-28-2013, 07:24 AM | #4 |
Spiraling down the Drain
Join Date: Oct 2012
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Real squirrels are jealous.
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"We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87 |
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12-28-2013, 07:50 AM | #5 |
Constable of Untruths
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Wichita
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Imagine what she would have done to him if he also forgot to pick up apple fritters. She would have shot him and put him through a wood chipper.
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12-28-2013, 07:57 AM | #6 |
Spiraling down the Drain
Join Date: Oct 2012
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Cross thread and Fargo kudos.
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"We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87 |
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12-28-2013, 08:04 AM | #7 |
MVP
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sydney, Australia
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"So yeah he didn't bring any beer home, even though I told him to at least twice earlier.
So one thing led to another and I stabbed him with that ugly ****ing ceramic squirrel he got me for Christmas." |
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12-28-2013, 08:07 AM | #8 |
Spiraling down the Drain
Join Date: Oct 2012
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Do squirrels know about fellatio?
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"We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87 |
Posts: 31,763
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12-28-2013, 08:22 AM | #9 |
MVP
Join Date: Dec 2012
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So that's where my neighbors moved to. Their guinea fowl alarm system won't be missed.
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12-28-2013, 08:40 AM | #10 |
Molôn Labé
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: North Carolina
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12-28-2013, 09:26 AM | #11 |
MVP
Join Date: Aug 2000
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We need to ban assault ceramic squirrels.
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12-28-2013, 09:36 AM | #12 |
Be Kind To Your Pets
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VARSITY
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This is why my beer fridge is never empty!
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