A way to stop the insanity and lessen the pain: A reformed Chiefaholic's advice

[Yosef_Malkovitch]

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EDIT: I originally posted this after watching the Chiefs blow a 28-point lead in the latest playoff defeat. Given some of the sentiment I've seen on the board today, I thought this might be a good time for a bump.

Most people here don't know me, I've been around since day 1 (literally) of CP, but I almost always just lurk b/c I don't have much to add to the discussion. However, given how much pain this franchise caused me up until 2006, and given how much the advice below helped me live a much happier life during football season, I thought I might throw my 2 cents in.
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I was originally going to post this in one of the numerous “I’m so crushed I no longer care that much” threads, but I thought it might get lost there. I want to pass along some advice that was given to me on this very board many years ago, advice that really changed my life (at least from September through January).

A number of years ago a very wise poster on this board advised me to just turn down my level of caring. I wish I could remember who it was, but he said that if you do that, you can still enjoy the wins but the losses won't get you so much.

I did that over the course of about 8 years starting with the No Punt Game.

I have to say, it's really nice. If you can pull it off, then when the Chiefs win it's a nice bonus for your day but if they lose you just shrug and go on about your business.

Yesterday I spent the commercial breaks doing some work on my laptop and chatting with the guy sitting across from me in the McDonald's where we were watching it. At 38-10 he said, "Well I guess that's the game, huh?" and my response--one borne from years of pain at the hands of this franchise--was to say, "Not with the Chiefs. If anyone can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, it's this team."

Then, when Smith fumbled and the Colts recovered, I just chuckled and told him, "I've seen this song and dance before." Every time Luck completed a pass to a receiver who had no KC player anywhere within 5 yards of him, I shook my head and wondered how some people keep their jobs, but I can't say I was ever really upset about it.

After Bowe was ruled out of bounds I didn't even have much of a reaction, honestly. I just turned back to my laptop and finished what I was working on.

It was nice to not be so vested in this team that the loss ruined my day. I remember many times (such as the 1995 playoff debacle) when I was in agony for days--WEEKS--afterwards. I remember one time punching the floor so hard that I damaged something in my hand and couldn't grip well for several weeks.

Not anymore. Whoever that wise poster was, he saved me from this franchise. I still lurk here all the time, and I listen to the games on the radio while I'm working in the yard or around the house, but I rarely dedicate an entire 3.5 hour block to sitting down and watching a game. The exception is the playoffs; I figure that’s still worth spending the time/effort to watch, although I will try to do something productive during commercials, etc. so I don’t feel like I’ve lost so much if (when) the Chiefs choke again.

I used to be one of the most avid fans. I knew every player’s history, strengths and weaknesses, etc. I kept up on all the details of all the games going on around the league that might in some small way affect the Chiefs. I analyzed every facet of upcoming games and could rattle off various statistics at the drop of a hat. And I was utterly and completely crushed when the Chiefs lost key games over and over again. Such devotion absolutely took a toll on me: the frustration, the anger, even the fights it would cause in my personal life after yet another showing of ineptitude by the Chiefs.

Gaz one time wrote about being speechless with rage. I was right there with him. And then, after the No Punt Game, I realized my life is so much more than just following a group of very wealthy athletes (many of whom I truly believe care less than the fans do) drop game after game, year after year.

The result is I've been able to enjoy the good times and just shake my head and chuckle at the truly awful times. The lack of stress has been wonderful, and I'm no longer so crushed by the latest disaster to come out of KC. I’m attached enough to enjoy the success, but I’m detached enough that the absolute failure doesn’t get to me that much.

Maybe it's time for some of us on this board to try to follow that poster's advice. Many already have, judging from what I've read the last 21 hours.

If you haven't done so already, maybe you should just sit back and consider where football really ranks in your life. Regardless of what happens on Sunday afternoon, it's not going to change your life that much. You’re not going to get a raise or a promotion if they win, and you’re not going to lose your job if they lose. It’s just a game, a way to pass a few hours on Sunday afternoons.

The outcome of a game won’t change your life one way or the other. After the game is over, go for a walk. Have a nice dinner with your family. Make love to your significant other. Read a book. Go to a movie. Play catch with the dog. Spend time with the kids. These are the important things in your life, and none of them are in the slightest bit affected by whether the Chiefs win or lose a game.

Of course I know some people will deride me as a heretic for suggesting that maybe KC Chiefs football isn’t and shouldn’t be the focal point of our lives, but hey, I’m just sharing what was shared with me many years ago. It really helped me. I still enjoy the wins but the losses don’t leave me feeling sick in the pit of my stomach like they used to.

Just a thought.



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TL;DR: I used to passionately follow the Chiefs until someone on the board suggested that I not care so much about it. Over several years I’ve slowly adjusted my level of caring and now I can still enjoy the wins but the losses don’t crush me the way they used to. Try it, if you can, it’s actually pretty enjoyable.
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[Hammock Parties]

Pioli and Cassel flipped my switch off. I feel no pain today.

I'm scared it's going to get flipped back next year, because Alex Smith gave me hope yesterday for the first time.

[rabblerouser]

I love it.

[Yosef_Malkovitch]

Originally Posted by Pam Oliver's Forehead

Pioli and Cassel flipped my switch off. I feel no pain today.

I'm scared it's going to get flipped back next year, because Alex Smith gave me hope yesterday for the first time.

It's refreshing, isn't it?

I was fortunate enough to have already dialed down my care-o-meter prior to Cassel showing his true colors, and I can honestly say that there were games where, instead of yelling and screaming, I literally laughed out loud at how bad Cassel was.

[rabblerouser]

Originally Posted by Pam Oliver's Forehead

I'm scared it's going to get flipped back next year, because Alex Smith gave me hope yesterday for the first time.

Alex Smith played lights out, but I'm here to tell you, it's false hope. if those ****s couldn't beat that shitsack team of warmed-over douchebags when leading 38-10 in the 3rd qtr...who are they gonna beat??

Seriously. That was some ****ed up bullshit that I've NEVER seen before. Houston turned the ball over and quit scoring altogether to let Buf back in. it's uncanny...

[OrtonsPiercedTaint]

This airing of feelings is just not my shot of rot gut

[BlackHelicopters]

The Love Boat

[Silock]

Nice sentiment, but when we finally win something, I'll be enjoying it more than you will. Can't appreciate the winning if you don't endure the losing.

[Molitoth]

Excellent post.

[Bob Dole]

Originally Posted by theelusiveeightrop

The Love Boat

At least it was exciting and new.

This 20 year rerun is not.

[Fritz88]

I care. Losing stings. It sucks. It's frustrating.

Does it effect my personal life? No.

Does it effect my social life? No.

Does it effect my professional life? No.

Losing is part of the fun. Yes, the Chiefs take it to the next level.

I drove from STL to Indy for the game and dished out good money ( being a student makes it harder ), but I didnt have a fight with my loved ones or anyone.

The team is bound to be better. Yes, we've heard that before, but now it its different. We have a competent QB and a good coach.

I understand the posts here and venting, but why do we need these types of " don't go insane threads"?. It is a game at the end of the day.

Chill.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Yosef_Malkovitch]

Originally Posted by Silock

Nice sentiment, but when we finally win something, I'll be enjoying it more than you will. Can't appreciate the winning if you don't endure the losing.

Yeah, you probably will enjoy it more. But that's not to say I won't enjoy it. I have enjoyed the wins this year, and at the same time the losses just haven't gotten to me the way they used to.

I would say I enjoy the wins about 60% as much as I used to. On the other hand the losses barely even bother me anymore. I would rather enjoy the wins about 60% as much when the losses only bother me about 10% as much. It leads (for me, YMMV) to a better overall experience.

*shrug* I don't know, I suppose this way of approaching things isn't for everyone, but it really helped me. I just wish I could remember who it was that gave me the advice.

[Yosef_Malkovitch]

Originally Posted by Fritz88

I understand the posts here and venting, but why do we need these types of " don't go insane threads"?. It is a game at the end of the day.

Posted via Mobile Device

Well, I'm just trying to "play it forward" so to speak. It was a post exactly like my opening post (albeit much shorter) that helped me out. My football experience has been much better as a result. So I'm just trying to pass along the good deed.

As I said, this approach isn't for everyone. I will readily admit that I don't get as much enjoyment from the wins as I did when I was a rabid fan. On the other hand my overall enjoyment of Chiefs football as a whole is much better.

Anyway, each to his own. I'm just trying to do for someone else what was done for me all those years ago.

[siberian khatru]

Originally Posted by Silock

Nice sentiment, but when we finally win something, I'll be enjoying it more than you will. Can't appreciate the winning if you don't endure the losing.

That is indeed the trade-off, and was my immediate reaction to the outstanding OP. But I think it's one I'm willing to make.

[texaschiefsfan]

Great post.