A way to stop the insanity and lessen the pain: A reformed Chiefaholic's advice

[Yosef_Malkovitch]

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EDIT: I originally posted this after watching the Chiefs blow a 28-point lead in the latest playoff defeat. Given some of the sentiment I've seen on the board today, I thought this might be a good time for a bump.

Most people here don't know me, I've been around since day 1 (literally) of CP, but I almost always just lurk b/c I don't have much to add to the discussion. However, given how much pain this franchise caused me up until 2006, and given how much the advice below helped me live a much happier life during football season, I thought I might throw my 2 cents in.
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I was originally going to post this in one of the numerous “I’m so crushed I no longer care that much” threads, but I thought it might get lost there. I want to pass along some advice that was given to me on this very board many years ago, advice that really changed my life (at least from September through January).

A number of years ago a very wise poster on this board advised me to just turn down my level of caring. I wish I could remember who it was, but he said that if you do that, you can still enjoy the wins but the losses won't get you so much.

I did that over the course of about 8 years starting with the No Punt Game.

I have to say, it's really nice. If you can pull it off, then when the Chiefs win it's a nice bonus for your day but if they lose you just shrug and go on about your business.

Yesterday I spent the commercial breaks doing some work on my laptop and chatting with the guy sitting across from me in the McDonald's where we were watching it. At 38-10 he said, "Well I guess that's the game, huh?" and my response--one borne from years of pain at the hands of this franchise--was to say, "Not with the Chiefs. If anyone can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, it's this team."

Then, when Smith fumbled and the Colts recovered, I just chuckled and told him, "I've seen this song and dance before." Every time Luck completed a pass to a receiver who had no KC player anywhere within 5 yards of him, I shook my head and wondered how some people keep their jobs, but I can't say I was ever really upset about it.

After Bowe was ruled out of bounds I didn't even have much of a reaction, honestly. I just turned back to my laptop and finished what I was working on.

It was nice to not be so vested in this team that the loss ruined my day. I remember many times (such as the 1995 playoff debacle) when I was in agony for days--WEEKS--afterwards. I remember one time punching the floor so hard that I damaged something in my hand and couldn't grip well for several weeks.

Not anymore. Whoever that wise poster was, he saved me from this franchise. I still lurk here all the time, and I listen to the games on the radio while I'm working in the yard or around the house, but I rarely dedicate an entire 3.5 hour block to sitting down and watching a game. The exception is the playoffs; I figure that’s still worth spending the time/effort to watch, although I will try to do something productive during commercials, etc. so I don’t feel like I’ve lost so much if (when) the Chiefs choke again.

I used to be one of the most avid fans. I knew every player’s history, strengths and weaknesses, etc. I kept up on all the details of all the games going on around the league that might in some small way affect the Chiefs. I analyzed every facet of upcoming games and could rattle off various statistics at the drop of a hat. And I was utterly and completely crushed when the Chiefs lost key games over and over again. Such devotion absolutely took a toll on me: the frustration, the anger, even the fights it would cause in my personal life after yet another showing of ineptitude by the Chiefs.

Gaz one time wrote about being speechless with rage. I was right there with him. And then, after the No Punt Game, I realized my life is so much more than just following a group of very wealthy athletes (many of whom I truly believe care less than the fans do) drop game after game, year after year.

The result is I've been able to enjoy the good times and just shake my head and chuckle at the truly awful times. The lack of stress has been wonderful, and I'm no longer so crushed by the latest disaster to come out of KC. I’m attached enough to enjoy the success, but I’m detached enough that the absolute failure doesn’t get to me that much.

Maybe it's time for some of us on this board to try to follow that poster's advice. Many already have, judging from what I've read the last 21 hours.

If you haven't done so already, maybe you should just sit back and consider where football really ranks in your life. Regardless of what happens on Sunday afternoon, it's not going to change your life that much. You’re not going to get a raise or a promotion if they win, and you’re not going to lose your job if they lose. It’s just a game, a way to pass a few hours on Sunday afternoons.

The outcome of a game won’t change your life one way or the other. After the game is over, go for a walk. Have a nice dinner with your family. Make love to your significant other. Read a book. Go to a movie. Play catch with the dog. Spend time with the kids. These are the important things in your life, and none of them are in the slightest bit affected by whether the Chiefs win or lose a game.

Of course I know some people will deride me as a heretic for suggesting that maybe KC Chiefs football isn’t and shouldn’t be the focal point of our lives, but hey, I’m just sharing what was shared with me many years ago. It really helped me. I still enjoy the wins but the losses don’t leave me feeling sick in the pit of my stomach like they used to.

Just a thought.



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TL;DR: I used to passionately follow the Chiefs until someone on the board suggested that I not care so much about it. Over several years I’ve slowly adjusted my level of caring and now I can still enjoy the wins but the losses don’t crush me the way they used to. Try it, if you can, it’s actually pretty enjoyable.
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[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Pam Oliver's Forehead

Pioli and Cassel flipped my switch off. I feel no pain today.

I'm scared it's going to get flipped back next year, because Alex Smith gave me hope yesterday for the first time.

I was a rabid fan for most of my life. I got emotionally invested in the games and yelled and paced and stuff. The first chink in that armor was Greg Robinson's defensive debacles. But even then I cared immensely.

And then there was that horrendous Herm Edwards game against, who else, the Colts. Herm elected to play it conservative and punted to Manning in overtime, with the expected results. That game hardened my heart because I realized that I was rooting for a team that just wasn't very smart. I started to question why I cared. But even then I cared.

This year, it wasn't even about the Chiefs. It was about the league in general and how terrible the product is that they're selling to the public, and how crassly they're using my beloved sport as a mere moneymaking tool. I started feeling really uncomfortable around Week 7 or 8, and in Week 14 I laid out my "Crisis in Faith" thread. I have become determined to bring my level of caring down to a very low level, because it's just dumb to root for different divisions of a nationwide business conglomerate, and that's what we're doing.

It's going to be a hard habit to break, and that's what the NFL is relying on. But they've come out time and time again with messages that their ideal fan is someone who doesn't know much about football and who climbs on bandwagons. If that's what they're gearing their market toward, that's the type of fan we should all become in order to maximize our enjoyment.

If you follow a team through thick and thin, you're a dinosaur. The league is sending that message loud and clear.

[GloryDayz]

Somehow I get the feeling Clark's spies are reading CP today and informing him that it might take a Joe Montana bobble head doll to get some fans back next year. That pisses Clark off - it leaves less cash for the Mrs to buy shoes and she might come home early, so the sluts have to suck, swallow and go, no cuddle time!

[Sannyasi]

I think there's a healthy amount of emotional investment and an unhealthy amount. The gameday threads here on CP could be used as an advertisement for lithium.

[GloryDayz]

Originally Posted by Sannyasi

I think there's a healthy amount of emotional investment and an unhealthy amount. The gameday threads here on CP could be used as an advertisement for lithium.

A battery?

OK, Sorry.....

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I have become determined to bring my level of caring down to a very low level, because it's just dumb to root for different divisions of a nationwide business conglomerate, and that's what we're doing.

It's really just part of getting older, I think.

But when this team has a legit shot at a Super Bowl...and it will happen, because it's already happened 4 times in my lifetime...we're all going to fall hard again.

I think that's why we can't quit any of this...because at some point the Chiefs are going to give us that feeling we had watching them as kids.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Pam Oliver's Forehead

It's really just part of getting older, I think.

But when this team has a legit shot at a Super Bowl...and it will happen, because it's already happened 4 times in my lifetime...we're all going to fall hard again.

I think that's why we can't quit any of this...because at some point the Chiefs are going to give us that feeling we had watching them as kids.

That's the tough thing. Wins are fun.

The other thing that hooks a long-term fan is the fear that they'll walk away and the team will win a Super Bowl the next year. If I take next year off like I'm planning, I have this fear that the Chiefs will go on and win the Super Bowl just to screw me over. But then I remember the 90 year-old Cubs and Red Sox fans who probably thought the same thing before they died.

[siberian khatru]

Originally Posted by Pam Oliver's Forehead

It's really just part of getting older, I think.

But when this team has a legit shot at a Super Bowl...and it will happen, because it's already happened 4 times in my lifetime...we're all going to fall hard again.

I think that's why we can't quit any of this...because at some point the Chiefs are going to give us that feeling we had watching them as kids.

This is one of your better posts.

[MahiMike]

This is where I'm at. Desensitized. If the chiefs win a SB in my lifetime, I'll prolly forget to watch it.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

That's the tough thing. Wins are fun.

The other thing that hooks a long-term fan is the fear that they'll walk away and the team will win a Super Bowl the next year. If I take next year off like I'm planning, I have this fear that the Chiefs will go on and win the Super Bowl just to screw me over. But then I remember the 90 year-old Cubs and Red Sox fans who probably thought the same thing before they died.

I feel exactly the same way.

At some point it becomes more about experiencing the story of your team than actually getting hardcore joy or sorrow from the games.

I mean, I was apathetic over 10-12 of our games this year. I just can't get excited for 17-16 wins over the Texans, or whatever it was we did to the Raiders. Meh.

But I still watched every second, because hey, the Chiefs are doing things and I wanna know what they're doing.

This is my team, and I'll be damned if I'm not going to read the next chapter. Because it might be a good one.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by MahiMike

This is where I'm at. Desensitized. If the chiefs win a SB in my lifetime, I'll prolly forget to watch it.

Yeah that's bullshit.

We'll be in the AFC Championship and you'll be biting your fingernails.

[GloryDayz]

Originally Posted by Pam Oliver's Forehead

It's really just part of getting older, I think.

But when this team has a legit shot at a Super Bowl...and it will happen, because it's already happened 4 times in my lifetime...we're all going to fall hard again.

I think that's why we can't quit any of this...because at some point the Chiefs are going to give us that feeling we had watching them as kids.

If only we could be young again. And I hate that I can't begin to describe, acurately, to my two sons how cool football used to be. Perhaps it was my youth, perhaps it was just that it was before the game went gay, but I swear 60s, 70s and 80s (even the 90s) football was WAAAAY better than what we're seeing these days.

I know there's a concerns for concussions and I can respect that, but the overt protection of QBs (who can run at will but can't hardly be touched), defense being all but outlawed, and the sick desire/mandate for 80-100 points to be scored in a game has made the product just less. I'm sure it's added in some demographic, but not one that ever played IMO.

But I totlly hear what you're saying...

[siberian khatru]

GoChiefs with three straight excellent posts.

I want that Wendler to stick.

[cdcox]

Originally Posted by Pam Oliver's Forehead

But when this team has a legit shot at a Super Bowl...and it will happen, because it's already happened 4 times in my lifetime...we're all going to fall hard again.

Too optimistic. In 1994 we were probably the second best team in the AFC. In 1997 we were 1/2 with Denver. But during all those years the NFC was playing at a far higher level than the AFC. We might of had a 15% chance of winning the SB one of those two years. I don't think we were were in the top 2 AFC teams any other year.

(By all those years, I meant before 97).

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by cdcox

Too optimistic. In 1994 we were probably the second best team in the AFC. In 1997 we were 1/2 with Denver. But during all those years the NFC was playing at a far higher level than the AFC. We might of had a 15% chance of winning the SB one of those two years. I don't think we were were in the top 2 AFC teams any other year.

I felt we had a chance in 1993, 1995, 1997 and 2003.

Maybe we did, maybe we didn't, but the feeling existed within me.

I haven't felt that way since. Hence, not a lot of disappointment.

[Yosef_Malkovitch]

Originally Posted by Pam Oliver's Forehead

I felt we had a chance in 1993, 1995, 1997 and 2003.

Maybe we did, maybe we didn't, but the feeling existed within me.

I haven't felt that way since. Hence, not a lot of disappointment.

I agree with all except for 2003. That year I felt like we were really a 9-7 team with a few lucky bounces and Dante Hall getting a few crazy returns thrown in to hide the defensive suck. I did think we would win in the first round of the playoffs, but I didn't expect to go all the way.