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Old 01-27-2014, 03:34 PM  
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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Seven Tips From a New Jersey Guy
On how to navigate Super Bowl Week in New Jersey, and not piss off the locals:

http://www.nj.com/super-bowl/index.s..._us_angry.html

To football fans, visiting media and other dignitaries arriving here for the Super Bowl: Welcome to New Jersey! And, before you gather up your luggage at the Newark Airport baggage carousel and dive into the first cab headed to Manhattan, we can be clear on that point, right?

The Super Bowl is in New Jersey.

We put up with a lot here when it comes to the New York name on things. We tolerate it with the Giants, even if they haven’t played across the Hudson River in almost 40 years, because they were founded in 1925. We accept it with the Jets, because given their lackluster history, not having New Jersey attached to them has been just fine.

We have enough toxic dumps, if you know what I mean. Hey look, I just made a bad Jersey joke. *

* Don’t do this.

But the Super Bowl? Not this time. Yes, the NFL decided to put “NY/NJ” on its logo and – of course – screw us by holding nearly all of the major events across the Hudson River. Yes, the official game program dedicated such a small fraction of its cover to our state, directly below the Lombardi Trophy near the very edge, that it could be mistaken for a smudge.

That’s us to the NFL: A necessary smudge. But not even almighty Roger Goodell can change the geography. MetLife Stadium is the site of Super Bowl XLVIII. MetLife Stadium is located in East Rutherford, N.J. Therefore, one more time everyone, the Super Bowl is in New Jersey.

Got it? Good.

So let that be your first tip to navigating the week ahead. You are no doubt arriving here with plenty of guides, maps and friendly advice to help you enjoy your big trip, so we’ll cut right to the important stuff.

Namely: You not making us angrier than we already are. So, with that in mind, here are a few helpful hints for your stay:

1. Yes. We get it. It’s cold. You want to complain about the weather, go right ahead. Just don’t complain to us about the weather. We aren’t the brainiacs who put the game here. It’s early February in New Jersey. We live in a constant rotation of ice, snow and slush. You want to talk more about it? Here, take this shovel and get to work on my driveway. I’ll be right back.

2. Get out of the #@$%& left lane. You might have heard, but traffic is a sensitive topic around here. Spending three hours at the George Washington Bridge just to send a message to a small-town mayor will do that to the most patient people, and we’re not that. So, if you’re going to drive 55 in the left lane on the Turnpike, that 18 wheeler three inches from your rear fender has our full endorsement.

3. Oh, about that building next to the stadium. Yes, the one with all the multicolored panels that looks like it should be the world’s large clown college or a failed experiment with giant Legos. It was known as Xanadu, and you’re probably going to wonder what, exactly, it is. We have no idea, either.

4. Go easy on the Jersey jokes. “What exit?” HA HA HA! Never heard THAT one before. Here, I’ll tell you what exit: Go find Exit 6 on the Turnpike. Then keep going for a while into you see a sign that says “Welcome to Pennsylvania.” Save the Jersey jokes for the experts, like Jon Stewart (he’s one of us).

5. Need help? Just ask! Just last week, in fact, I was picking up my credential for the media events when I made a wrong turn. I asked a helpful man at the hotel, and he replied, “DID YOU NOT SEE THE BIG SIGN?!” It is this spirit of cooperation that will make us superior hosts.

6. You will not out-snark us. This is a special message for my colleagues arriving for Media Day at the Prudential Center on Tuesday. If you’re coming all the way just to tell the world that Newark isn’t pretty, well, do us all a favor and take your sweaty Birkenstocks back to Denver and your coffee-stained flannel back to Seattle.

7. Try to enjoy the Jersey experience. We understand if you’re staying in Manhattan. See a Broadway show. Visit a museum. We do, all the time. But if you want pancakes at 3 a.m., or if you craving a scenic drive (honest), or just want to see where the real people live, come on over.

We don’t bite. Usually.
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Old 01-27-2014, 04:30 PM   #16
Cornstock Cornstock is offline
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I like that word. But I'll warn you, it's hard to get a new word into circulation. I've been trying for years.
Ya I might try to use it here and there where applicable, but I won't hold my breath. Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but it looks good written.
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Old 01-27-2014, 04:38 PM   #17
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Ya I might try to use it here and there where applicable, but I won't hold my breath. Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but it looks good written.
It's a great word and there's a need for it. Anyone who doesn't start using it is just being disigerent.
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Old 01-27-2014, 04:39 PM   #18
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I'll bet the BADA BING! will do epic business this week...
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Old 01-27-2014, 04:48 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
It's a great word and there's a need for it. Anyone who doesn't start using it is just being disigerent.
Haha I think your word has thus been revealed. You'll be pleased to know a quick google search shows that there are a couple of online communities that have cited this site as the point of origination for disigerent.
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Old 01-27-2014, 05:47 PM   #20
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New Jersey is a pit and NY is not much better. But nearly 90% of the media is saying the SB is in New York. You think they would have a fact checker before they run stories-lol
Jersey gets better towards the middle away from the shitholes they call Newark and Camden. Beaches are nice in the Summer.
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Old 01-27-2014, 05:48 PM   #21
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Oh yea, you can't fill up you own car with gas. Gotta keep people employed NJ.
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Old 01-27-2014, 06:51 PM   #22
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New Jersey is a pit and NY is not much better. But nearly 90% of the media is saying the SB is in New York. You think they would have a fact checker before they run stories-lol
You're surprised? These are the same people that think that the Chiefs/Royals play in Kansas.
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Old 01-28-2014, 08:46 AM   #23
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lots of good places to walk around and hit bars in Patterson.
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Old 01-28-2014, 09:00 AM   #24
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Old 01-28-2014, 09:03 AM   #25
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Oh yea, you can't fill up you own car with gas. Gotta keep people employed NJ.
wait,...wut?
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Old 01-28-2014, 09:05 AM   #26
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wait,...wut?
It's illegal to pump your own gas there.
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Old 01-28-2014, 09:06 AM   #27
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Jersey gets better towards the middle away from the shitholes they call Newark and Camden. Beaches are nice in the Summer.
Newark and Camden... NJ is the state with two aholes
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Old 01-28-2014, 09:12 AM   #28
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It's illegal to pump your own gas there.
are you serious?.....I can not wrap my head around that one....

or are you being sarcastic?
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Old 01-28-2014, 09:25 AM   #29
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It's illegal to pump your own gas there.
Can't tell if serious
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Old 01-28-2014, 09:32 AM   #30
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Wow, how much does gas cost in Jersey?
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