Seven Tips From a New Jersey Guy

[gblowfish]

On how to navigate Super Bowl Week in New Jersey, and not piss off the locals:

http://www.nj.com/super-bowl/index.s..._us_angry.html

To football fans, visiting media and other dignitaries arriving here for the Super Bowl: Welcome to New Jersey! And, before you gather up your luggage at the Newark Airport baggage carousel and dive into the first cab headed to Manhattan, we can be clear on that point, right?

The Super Bowl is in New Jersey.

We put up with a lot here when it comes to the New York name on things. We tolerate it with the Giants, even if they haven’t played across the Hudson River in almost 40 years, because they were founded in 1925. We accept it with the Jets, because given their lackluster history, not having New Jersey attached to them has been just fine.

We have enough toxic dumps, if you know what I mean. Hey look, I just made a bad Jersey joke. *

* Don’t do this.

But the Super Bowl? Not this time. Yes, the NFL decided to put “NY/NJ” on its logo and – of course – screw us by holding nearly all of the major events across the Hudson River. Yes, the official game program dedicated such a small fraction of its cover to our state, directly below the Lombardi Trophy near the very edge, that it could be mistaken for a smudge.

That’s us to the NFL: A necessary smudge. But not even almighty Roger Goodell can change the geography. MetLife Stadium is the site of Super Bowl XLVIII. MetLife Stadium is located in East Rutherford, N.J. Therefore, one more time everyone, the Super Bowl is in New Jersey.

Got it? Good.

So let that be your first tip to navigating the week ahead. You are no doubt arriving here with plenty of guides, maps and friendly advice to help you enjoy your big trip, so we’ll cut right to the important stuff.

Namely: You not making us angrier than we already are. So, with that in mind, here are a few helpful hints for your stay:

1. Yes. We get it. It’s cold. You want to complain about the weather, go right ahead. Just don’t complain to us about the weather. We aren’t the brainiacs who put the game here. It’s early February in New Jersey. We live in a constant rotation of ice, snow and slush. You want to talk more about it? Here, take this shovel and get to work on my driveway. I’ll be right back.

2. Get out of the #@$%& left lane. You might have heard, but traffic is a sensitive topic around here. Spending three hours at the George Washington Bridge just to send a message to a small-town mayor will do that to the most patient people, and we’re not that. So, if you’re going to drive 55 in the left lane on the Turnpike, that 18 wheeler three inches from your rear fender has our full endorsement.

3. Oh, about that building next to the stadium. Yes, the one with all the multicolored panels that looks like it should be the world’s large clown college or a failed experiment with giant Legos. It was known as Xanadu, and you’re probably going to wonder what, exactly, it is. We have no idea, either.

4. Go easy on the Jersey jokes. “What exit?” HA HA HA! Never heard THAT one before. Here, I’ll tell you what exit: Go find Exit 6 on the Turnpike. Then keep going for a while into you see a sign that says “Welcome to Pennsylvania.” Save the Jersey jokes for the experts, like Jon Stewart (he’s one of us).

5. Need help? Just ask! Just last week, in fact, I was picking up my credential for the media events when I made a wrong turn. I asked a helpful man at the hotel, and he replied, “DID YOU NOT SEE THE BIG SIGN?!” It is this spirit of cooperation that will make us superior hosts.

6. You will not out-snark us. This is a special message for my colleagues arriving for Media Day at the Prudential Center on Tuesday. If you’re coming all the way just to tell the world that Newark isn’t pretty, well, do us all a favor and take your sweaty Birkenstocks back to Denver and your coffee-stained flannel back to Seattle.

7. Try to enjoy the Jersey experience. We understand if you’re staying in Manhattan. See a Broadway show. Visit a museum. We do, all the time. But if you want pancakes at 3 a.m., or if you craving a scenic drive (honest), or just want to see where the real people live, come on over.

We don’t bite. Usually.

[Jimmya]

Wow....nutzo law if true.

[notorious]

Well, if the "jersey shore" dipshits are the average person up there, I don't blame New Jersey for making a law to keep them away from gasoline.

[Chief Roundup]

Originally Posted by Cochise

Newark and Camden... NJ is the state with two aholes

That entire state is the sphincter of the U.S.

[kcfanXIII]

From what it sounds like, NY/NJ has the same type of hatred for each other as KCMO and KCK. We get it around here. The Super Bowl is in New Jersey not New York. If you ask us though, you are all just a bunch of arrogant east coasters, who all feel the world revolves around them. Suck it.

Sincerely
The Rest of the Country

[gblowfish]

It's illegal to pump your own gas in New Jersey and Oregon.

[Halfcan]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

It's illegal to pump your own gas in New Jersey and Oregon.

Yep I was in Oregon and started to pump the gas-this old man came running out and grabbed it out of my hand. Something like a $500 fine to the station if they dont pump it for you.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

It's illegal to pump your own gas in New Jersey and Oregon.

Originally Posted by Halfcan

Yep I was in Oregon and started to pump the gas-this old man came running out and grabbed it out of my hand. Something like a $500 fine to the station if they dont pump it for you.

What? Is this real?

[Halfcan]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

What? Is this real?

It might have changed but yes it is real.

In oregon-every gas station had a homeless guy that would pump the gas while you used your credit card or went in and paid.

[Eleazar]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

What? Is this real?

Yes. It's to preserve all the gas pumping jobs, I suppose.

[Chief Roundup]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

What? Is this real?

Yes it is illegal in a lot of places for individuals to pump their own gas.

[Moon§hiner]

Originally Posted by Cochise

It's illegal to pump your own gas there.

It's true. My wife is from Jersey and has no clue how to put gas in the car and has no desire to learn how. Drives me nuts.

Edit, when we talk to family back there, it's usually 5 cents or so cheaper than Kansas. I think it has to do with liability insurance. Less if you have a certified employee than some idiot that has a smoke in his mouth like I saw yesterday putting air in his tire by the pump.

[Chief_For_Life58]

tip 8. don't visit the arm pit of America. i mean new jersey. don't visit New Jersey

[Moon§hiner]

North Jersey is ugly as hell. Refineries and smoke stacks everywhere. Could smell it as soon as I walked out of the airport. Central Jersey has lots of trees, so no scenery till you get to the ocean. Never been to south, and from what I heard, I don't think I would go. The only good thing I could say is they don't litter the sides of their freeways with signs. Pull up to a stoplight and a nano-second after it turns green, the guy behind you is honking his horn.

[HemiEd]

Originally Posted by Deberg_1990

Oh yea, you can't fill up you own car with gas. Gotta keep people employed NJ.

Yeah, that kind of gets me every time I go back there, wtf?

[Chief Roundup]

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/...6-nj-gas_x.htm

In New Jersey, motorists who need to fill 'er up haven't pumped their own gas in 57 years. But in the face of soaring gas prices, Gov. Jon Corzine came up with a novel plan last month to try to ease the pain: allow self-service at some stations along the New Jersey Turnpike and see if prices dip. He believed prices could drop 5 to 7 cents a gallon.

Corzine retreated after about 1,400 e-mails and calls poured in from a mostly outraged public. Concern about other state issues paled in comparison. A proposal to raise the sales tax by one cent, for example, received about 200 responses from the public, says Brendan Gilfillan, a spokesman for the governor.

I know it is an older article. But it sounds like the people up there like it that way.