New Dating Megathread

[Buck]

Luv's old thread is in the HOC for being too big.

Post all your dating questions, comments, concerns, advice, and scrutiny in here!

[COchief]

As long as you didn't wear a diaper ala NASA lady to get here it's cool.

Welcome to Colo, you made a wise choice.

[Canofbier]

Y'all ever have those dreams where you meet a woman (or man, for a few of you) that you immediately fall in love with, only to wake up and be really bummed?

From Riches to Rag
Dreamed and written by: Canofbier

I see and hear her from across the room at an academic conference, and am immediately enthralled. Enter Rag - a spunky, petite, multilingual girl who is as free in her intellectual pursuits as she is in her sexuality. I know these things about her because she radiates them in the content of her speech and the mannerisms her voice and body have (and certainly not because she was created by my imagination).

I intend to approach her and divulge my obvious interests, but my boss (who is there, for some reason) is telling me something very important. I'm only half-listening to begin with, but as I see Rag begin to walk out of the room I cut my boss off and bound across the room towards Rag, only to have her slip through a doorway and out of my sight.

I step through the portal and am now inside an oversized version of my childhood home's entryway, complete with marble floors and a chandelier. I catch a glimpse of Rag as she walks up the stairs with a similarly-built woman holding her hand. I finally reach her at the top of the staircase, breathless.

"I'm so glad I reached you! I -"

"So sorry, but I can't talk right now; I need this right now," she cuts me off.

I watch as Rag and her toy run across the upstairs hallway into a large, ornate silken tent with pillows and blankets fancy enough for royalty. Through open curtains, I watch as Rag and her plaything make love to each other, her thick black curls hypnotically weaving and bouncing. Though I would rather be her moanbringer myself, I am not jealous; I understand that this is strictly for her pleasure, and that makes me happy. Slowly, I drift asleep on the carpeted floor.

My eyes drift open to the sight of a topless Rag - alone - and her breasts are larger than I remember.

"I'm glad you're still here. You had something you wanted to say to me?"

I rub my eyes and reply, "Yes...I heard you speaking in the other room, and I think you're brilliant. Can I have your digits?"

"I was eying you myself, but didn't work up the courage to say anything." Now that you've asked me, how can I turn you down?"

"It would be like throwing a baby into a dumpster," we both exclaim in perfect sync.

We laugh and high-five at our shared humor, and walk off together.

[Fast forward some indeterminate amount of time]

Rag and I have become quite familiar with one another, and we want no one's company but each other's. We sit naked in each other's arms in what appears to be a room-sized cardboard box, complete with a carpeted floor, furniture and a TV. I have never been so happy, because I feel that I have found my best friend, my lover and my wife.

We gaze longingly into one another's eyes, and my consciousness begins to fade.

"No," I silently scream, "if only I had bought a refill on Diana's Bananas..."

I awake from my dream, coming to the tragic realization that Rag's love, brilliance and sweet poon-tang were all a magnificent figment of my imagination. My ambitions of living out the rest of my life with Rag and our beautiful biracial children disintegrate sadly into the air.

THE END

[Katipan]

Originally Posted by COchief

As long as you didn't wear a diaper ala NASA lady to get here it's cool.

Welcome to Colo, you made a wise choice.

I've yet to meet anyone that wasn't friendly and responsive. And literally no-one cares that I'm brown.
I spend a lot of time staring at mountains. And giggling.

[Katipan]

Originally Posted by Canofbier

Y'all ever have those dreams where you meet a woman (or man, for a few of you) that you immediately fall in love with, only to wake up and be really bummed?

... No.

Your flirting and your dreaming are both long winded. I adore a smart man but you could probably take off 50% of your verbage and still show how girthy your IQ is.

[Titty Meat]

Originally Posted by Katipan

... No.

Your flirting and your dreaming are both long winded. I adore a smart man but you could probably take off 50% of your verbage and still show how girthy your IQ is.

Ill show you girth

[Discuss Thrower]

No you won't.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Billay u couldn't handle that

[Buck]

GF just got dumped. I'm going to miss her (mostly).

[Discuss Thrower]

Originally Posted by Buck

GF just got dumped. I'm going to miss her (mostly).

I'll chug a beer on her behalf, brah

[Buck]

I dumped her because she's an alcoholic. She'll chug plenty of beers on her own behalf. Don't worry about it.

[Discuss Thrower]

Originally Posted by Buck

I dumped her because she's an alcoholic. She'll chug plenty of beers on her own behalf. Don't worry about it.

Then I shall toast to your new found freedom, brah.

[Buck]

Yeah, I always go through some kind of mental hell after a breakup though. Don't know why. Hope it clears soon.

[Buck]

I just saved so much ****ing money though

[Discuss Thrower]

Originally Posted by Buck

Yeah, I always go through some kind of mental hell after a breakup though. Don't know why. Hope it clears soon.

Well, if you made the conscious effort to jettison the dame then I feel like you should at least be okay with the fact that you made the right call to end things than if she'd gone off and dumped you..


But then again I know nothing.

[Titty Meat]

Looks like if you dump the girl Discuss will be there to blow you