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Old 02-05-2015, 09:31 PM  
luv luv is offline
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A random Luv "advice needed" thread
It's been a while since I've posted a random, pointless thread on here, so here you go...

I've been dating this great guy for a few months. Neither of us have used the "L" word, but we're definitely exclusive. Valentine's Day is quickly approaching, and I have no idea what to get him. I don't want to get him something practical. I want to be at least kind of romantic. What says "I like you a whole lot but don't want to get too sappy"?
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:11 PM   #181
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I totally see both sides. My thought is this: I may occasionally do things I don't fully enjoy just because he likes them. I mean, as long as I'm not turned off by said things, and we both end up achieving the ultimate goal, then no harm done. However, if he EXPECTED me to do said things, then that changes things.
Then we are in full agreement.

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This whole holiday is a conundrum. I don't think we need a special day to remind us to be romantic. OTOH, it's pretty much the first time in longer than I can remember that I've actually had a Valentine, so it's kinda nice.
I would have agreed with you 15 years and 4 kids ago. But everyone is different. And holiday's aren't always required to remind us to focus on our marriage... but sometimes you just get so "in the grind" that Vday is a nice slap in the face (figuratively - at least in my case).
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:13 PM   #182
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I think there's a line between "something she doesn't like" versus "something she doesn't necessarily enjoy".
This. If she flat out doesn't like it, then it goes on to that "never" list I was talking about.
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:13 PM   #183
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I think there's a line between "something she doesn't like" versus "something she doesn't necessarily enjoy".
Yea, I get that. For me though it's all about both people having a smile on their faces afterward. Not one of them laying there ( or climbing down out of the swing) thinking ' I'm glad thats over'.
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:14 PM   #184
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I think there's a line between "something she doesn't like" versus "something she doesn't necessarily enjoy".


Reverse it. Say he's doing something to you that you love, does the fact that he's re-reading a book in his head while he's doing it screw it up at all for you?

Not that I really think it's the same, since men are dirty little hamsters and like to do everything.
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:16 PM   #185
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Yea, I get that. For me though it's all about both people having a smile on their faces afterward. Not one of them laying there ( or climbing down out of the swing) thinking ' I'm glad thats over'.
I couldn't even imagine enjoying something that I knew the other person did not enjoy.

I mean unless it was just some dirty 20 year old college boy I pulled from the bar.
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:17 PM   #186
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Not that I really think it's the same, since men are dirty little hamsters and like to do everything.
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:24 PM   #187
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I couldn't even imagine enjoying something that I knew the other person did not enjoy.

I mean unless it was just some dirty 20 year old college "girl" I pulled from the bar.
Me too.
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:29 PM   #188
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"I could do anything I want because she's willing to make me happy, but I don't get pleasure out of something she doesn't enjoy."

Is that a catch 22? A paradox perhaps?
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:42 PM   #189
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Plus you have a ribbon.
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:44 PM   #190
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I couldn't even imagine enjoying something that I knew the other person did not enjoy.

I mean unless it was just some dirty 20 year old college boy I pulled from the bar.
Ok... I'm going to get a little personal here, but my wife does not like to have the lights on. She is self-conscious about her body even though she is gorgeous (typical woman). Or she just doesn't want to see me! (more likely). Soft lights on would fall into "special occasion" category for us. Does that make me disgusting because I want to "SEE" my wife?
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:45 PM   #191
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To be fair, you are a bit . . . Abby.
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:46 PM   #192
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Ok... I'm going to get a little personal here, but my wife does not like to have the lights on. She is self-conscious about her body even though she is gorgeous (typical woman). Or she just doesn't want to see me! (more likely). Soft lights on would fall into "special occasion" category for us. Does that make me disgusting because I want to "SEE" my wife?
Oh you sick sick bastard. You're really out there on the new cutting edge with all that lights on shit.
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:46 PM   #193
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Ok... I'm going to get a little personal here, but my wife does not like to have the lights on. She is self-conscious about her body even though she is gorgeous (typical woman). Or she just doesn't want to see me! (more likely). Soft lights on would fall into "special occasion" category for us. Does that make me disgusting because I want to "SEE" my wife?
Yes.

Next question.
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:52 PM   #194
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Oh you sick sick bastard. You're really out there on the new cutting edge with all that lights on shit.
I know... HBO want's to do a special on me.
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:54 PM   #195
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Ok... I'm going to get a little personal here, but my wife does not like to have the lights on. She is self-conscious about her body even though she is gorgeous (typical woman). Or she just doesn't want to see me! (more likely). Soft lights on would fall into "special occasion" category for us. Does that make me disgusting because I want to "SEE" my wife?
What I find to be an antithesis of everything my vagina stands for is the idea that our passion comes at a cost to one of us.

Individual kink having little to do with my personal feelings on the subject.

You specifically stated things she didn't enjoy. You should send me flowers for sticking up for your wife.
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