Hypothetical: Serving as a Prison Proxy

[Bugeater]

Originally Posted by KurtCobain

You would do well in prison.

Oh hell, I'm going to get raped. I'm out.

[Predarat]

Hell with what I hear about prisons nowdays it might not be to terrible.

[ThaVirus]

I'd do it for $1,000,000.

I'm working a dead end job with no future currently anyway. I'm good friends with the owner/GM so I could probably just put on my resume that I was still working there for the past year while serving the time. Combine that with the fact that my record stays clean and I'd really be no worse for wear by doing a bid.

I don't have kids or a wife.

As far as doing the time, I could have some issues. I'm a bit on the small side and I've been called "pretty" before. At the same time I'm not a bitch and I do lift. No one's touching my sweet ass without losing some teeth or an eyeball or something.

Truthfully, my biggest issue with being locked up would probably be the boredom/lack of freedom. I'm moody and my mind state is easily affected by weather/surroundings. 23 hours of being surrounded by concrete walls every day for 365 days would wreck my spirit.

Still, $1M tax free after all's said and done would be a huge boost. I could buy a house and my retirement fund would essentially be taken care of. I could also go back to school and get a more useful degree while not having to work and focusing more on internships and networking.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

I'd do it for $1,000,000.

I'm working a dead end job with no future currently anyway. I'm good friends with the owner/GM so I could probably just put on my resume that I was still working there for the past year while serving the time. Combine that with the fact that my record stays clean and I'd really be no worse for wear by doing a bid.

I don't have kids or a wife.

As far as doing the time, I could have some issues. I'm a bit on the small side and I've been called "pretty" before. At the same time I'm not a bitch and I do lift. No one's touching my sweet ass without losing some teeth or an eyeball or something.

Truthfully, my biggest issue with being locked up would probably be the boredom/lack of freedom. I'm moody and my mind state is easily affected by weather/surroundings. 23 hours of being surrounded by concrete walls every day for 365 days would wreck my spirit.

Still, $1M tax free after all's said and done would be a huge boost. I could buy a house and my retirement fund would essentially be taken care of. I could also go back to school and get a more useful degree while not having to work and focusing more on internships and networking.

You seem like a good candidate for this type of thing. I'll put you in my file.

I would defer to KurtCobain on this one, but I suspect that the violence may be oversold. I've heard that if a guy my age goes in, he gets pretty much left alone. It's only the young pretty ones like ThaVirus who are at risk of that. So I would agree that the locked-up part might be the most grinding problem. I like to travel, and I like to eat at restaurants, and I like to run long distances, and I like to hang out with my wife in our house, and all four would probably be severely curtailed in prison.

[BucEyedPea]

Will I have internet access? If so cool. I can post here all day!

But due to bodily risk $2 million.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by BucEyedPea

Will I have internet access? If so cool. I can post here all day!

But due to bodily risk $2 million.

A women's prison? I don't think you face much bodily risk, though I hear that other prisoners may make a lot of cutting statements behind one's back.

Now, you might have to get married at some point, but I don't think that lesbian prison weddings are legally binding.

[BucEyedPea]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

A women's prison? I don't think you face much bodily risk, though I hear that other prisoners may make a lot of cutting statements behind one's back.

Now, you might have to get married at some point, but I don't think that lesbian prison weddings are legally binding.

Sounds like a decent deal. Think of all that reading, graphics and artwork I could do for myself. I'd so it for $2 million. Then start a business mass producing some of my work when I got out. Plus no bills for the year while in. Oh well maybe for art materials.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by BucEyedPea

Sounds like a decent deal. Think of all that reading, graphics and artwork I could do for myself. I'd so it for $2 million. Then start a business mass producing some of my work when I got out. Plus no bills for the year while in. Oh well maybe for art materials.

That's something I've never been clear on. If I go to prison, can I have note pads and writing implements to write a book? Can I bring books to read? Or do I have to stare at walls and give myself homemade tattoos all day? I'm not sure what's allowed.

[DJ's left nut]

What would prevent me from sub-contracting?

Why couldn't I take this fellow's $500K and then pay $50K to a homeless loon to stand in on my behalf? This is America; economic efficiency rules the day.

If there are by-laws prevent the sale of a sale of a prison sentence, then it would depend on my continued job status. As a partner, it would be difficult but not impossible to excise my ass. If that were the case, this could go penny wise and pound foolish in a hurry.

If I'm guaranteed renewed employment at my present position/salary, I'd do it for $500K. It would give me more than enough for a large payment on any home I'd ever want to buy and my renewed income stream upon exit would supplement it nicely.

If I'm getting fired, however, it's gonna take more than $2 million. I don't want to start over this saturated damn job market. I know what we can get the newbies for these days...not interested in that slog. I'd need 'invest, retire and live off the interest' money. $3 million gets me enough to pretty well lock in about $100K/yr and enough buffer to ride out a market crash if I'm diversified. That works for me.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

What would prevent me from sub-contracting?

Why couldn't I take this fellow's $500K and then pay $50K to a homeless loon to stand in on my behalf? This is America; economic efficiency rules the day.

For the sake of this discussion, let's assume that subcontracting isn't allowed, though from an economic efficiency standpoint it's a good idea. But then again, in that scenario you wouldn't get many gigs because eventually someone would start a temp agency of homeless people willing to do it for $10,000.

The substitution law in the Civil War had a somewhat similar problem. People would get paid to be a substitute and then they would desert. They would then be a substitute for someone else in a different unit and show up there, and then desert again. In the pre-computer age it was hard to track these people.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

So you get on the inside and a guard doesn't like you. He sets you up to be shanked by a gang member. You either A. Die, or B. Defend yourself and kill the guy. Now the gang is after you and you're going up on murder charges. That's a realistic Outlook. How much would it cost now?

Give me the same country club prison these white collar ****s go to and I'll think about something in the 7-8 figure range. Otherwise, forget it!

[mikeyis4dcats.]

I'd do it for $500k. Because I'm confident I'd be realeasy after about 90 days.

[TLO]

I'll do it for $5,743,654.01 and not a penny less.

[TLO]

Are there weights provided during the outside time?

[KurtCobain]

Originally Posted by Big Smoke

Are there weights provided during the outside time?

Missouri camps have really nice gyms, and lots of outdoor equipment.