This Week's Important Florida News!

[gblowfish]

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.

[vailpass]

Originally Posted by Why Not?

Also, I think it's cool to have pride and love where you live. **** what other people think. I love AZ and its chalk full of crazy assholes and its 118 degrees in the summer.

spot on, spot on.

[GloryDayz]

Originally Posted by Why Not?

I had a great time this weekend in Florida. TPC Sawgrass was a lot of fun and the ocean temp was perfect. Also, won $600 at the poker room. Only weird thing was how awful the drivers are in Jacksonville.

Nice, and this is the perfect time to be there. You should have hit-up the Anna while you were there. She's a freighter ~25 miles offshore that was turned into a reef in the mid 80s. Fun dive...

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

http://abc7amarillo.com/news/nation-...h-her-own-dogs

NAPLES, Fla. (WPEC) - A woman from Naples is accused of having sex with her own dogs.

Miranda Johns, 21, is facing three charges related to sex conduct and contact with an animal, all misdemeanors.

The case began when officers went to interview a man as a possible suspect in a sex battery case against Johns on Monday afternoon.

The man showed detectives a series of disturbing images on his phone that he claimed Johns had sent to him.

The detective said the videos showed Johns having sex with her dogs, according to the police report.

Johns told investigators the man was interested in her having sex with animals and asked for photos of her engaged in sex acts. She told investigators, according to the interview with the detective, he had also shown interest in her having sex with a bigger dog.

Authorities booked Johns into the Naples Jail Center.

[GloryDayz]

Originally Posted by Hog Farmer

http://abc7amarillo.com/news/nation-...h-her-own-dogs

NAPLES, Fla. (WPEC) - A woman from Naples is accused of having sex with her own dogs.

Miranda Johns, 21, is facing three charges related to sex conduct and contact with an animal, all misdemeanors.

The case began when officers went to interview a man as a possible suspect in a sex battery case against Johns on Monday afternoon.

The man showed detectives a series of disturbing images on his phone that he claimed Johns had sent to him.

The detective said the videos showed Johns having sex with her dogs, according to the police report.

Johns told investigators the man was interested in her having sex with animals and asked for photos of her engaged in sex acts. She told investigators, according to the interview with the detective, he had also shown interest in her having sex with a bigger dog.

Authorities booked Johns into the Naples Jail Center.

Kinda funny that her name is Johns..

[scho63]

Originally Posted by Hog Farmer

http://abc7amarillo.com/news/nation-...h-her-own-dogs

NAPLES, Fla. (WPEC) - A woman from Naples is accused of having sex with her own dogs.

Miranda Johns, 21, is facing three charges related to sex conduct and contact with an animal, all misdemeanors.

Coochie Liquor posted this two months ago. Things must be pretty far behind the times out on the farm. You did hear the Chief's lost in the playoffs?

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showp...&postcount=494

[scho63]

http://www.aol.com/article/2016/05/2...y-as/21382061/

Disturbing news out of South Fort Myers High School in Lee County, Fla., has parents stunned and sad.

Police have been notified of a bathroom incident that was supposedly recorded and distributed on Snapchat in which a 15-year-old girl had sex with multiple male students after school — and it could have been as many as 25.

This was the number of students who were identified as going into the bathroom at the time the incident took place,FOX 4 reported.

The girl has admitted to having sex with multiple guys.

Parents and students alike relayed their shock. Eric Struble, a father to two 15-year-old girls, could only muster four words.

"Shock. Disbelief. Concern. Sad," he said.

Petislin Cadeau, an 18-year-old student, asked a particularly pertinent question during an interview with FOX 4.

"Like, how did it happen? Like, where was everybody at?" he said. "I heard a video was around, but I never really saw it or anything. It just like circulated around."

He said he'd heard members of the football team were involved.

[BigRedChief]

101 most insane things that have ever happened in Florida

1. Accused Florida man says his cat downloaded child porn, not him.
2. Florida man calls 911 80 times to demand Kool-Aid, hamburgers, and weed
3. Man says cocaine in his buttocks isn’t his
4. Man stabbed in confusion over harmonicas
5. Drunk woman calls 911 to say she was lost in woods, did not know where to urinate
6. Trapper trying to catch elusive loose monkey gets death threats
7. Sex-doll threesome man gets off
8. Florida man has sex with pit bull in his yard as neighbors beg him to stop 9. Man sprinkled fiancée’s ashes at LensCrafters, causing Florida mall’s evacuation: Sarasota Police
10. Florida strip club offering free flu shots
11. Roommates’ argument over dog ends with (human) bites, deputies say
12. Florida man beats daughter for 40 minutes to the tune of “Blurred Lines”
13. Woman plans to sue philanthropist after donkey attack
14. Largo man arrested for 120th time
15. Teacher injured in airborne fish attack
16. Florida DMV tells woman she lives on “Eat Ass” Street
17. Man who “exposed himself” tells police: “I was just airing out my penis”
18. “Not Homeless Need Boobs”: Fla. woman asks for donations alongside busy roadway
19. Flaming lingerie prompts K-Mart evacuation
20. Man trapped by fallen water buffalo head
21. Grave keeper sued over monkey’s resting place
22. Woman accused of trying to sell “hot” snakes at pet shop
23. Herpes-infected monkeys terrorize Florida
24. Babysitter accused of sleeping on toilet as 2-year-old wanders to canal with alligators
25. Polk Man pleads not guilty to swimming naked with gators
26. Hybrid man-eating pythons? Florida is on alert
27. Naked man asks, “Taser me, bro,” gets his wish
28. Suspected thieves target school’s frozen chicken nuggets
29. “Twilight” fan charged with making a false report to police to cover up bite marks
30. Peanut butter ball dispute sends Golden Gate man to jail
31. Woman in Fort Pierce said she called 911 because she “ate too much food”
32. “Zombie” attacks guard in nudist resort scuffle
33. Police: Fla. teen accidentally shoots off his penis and testicle
34. Grandma’s last resting place? A Fla. storage unit
35. Man charged with folding woman into couch in Palmetto
36. Florida man arrested for calling 911 after his cat was denied entry into strip club
37. Pregnant woman attacked man with bowl of spaghetti, cops say
38. Man dies after getting stuck in girlfriend’s cat door
39. Potato salad rage leads to woman’s arrest
40. Mom jailed in Etch A Sketch attack
41. PSL man ate stolen ice cream sandwich he kept in pants, police say
42. Lawmaker files bill to repeal state ban on dwarf tossing in bars
43. Conehead mascot in pointy white hood mistaken as Klan follower
44. Suspected Florida prostitute Christina Vavra busted by cop’s “flaccid rubber penis”
45. “I’m guilty. Arrest me,” woman says after cucumber-salad attack
46. Largo man accused of misusing 911 to report Taco Bell for not selling him tacos
47. “Big hairy” buttocks, golf balls cited in St. Lucie County neighbor issue
48. Man stole life-size Justin Bieber cutout
49. Estates man arrested for DUI blames “boogeyman” for motorcycle crash, deputies report
50. U.S. Airways allows man in underwear
51. Dumb blonde joke ends in nipple bite, knife attack
52. Police: Teen stole car, candy canes
53. Woman arrested after assaulting man with butter
54. Man accused of attacking woman with swim noodle over watermelon dispute at Lowdermilk Park
55. Tampa police say woman tried to buy her 80-year-old father a prostitute over Easter weekend
56. Man accused of stealing truck full of Krispy Kremes
57. Florida woman renews marriage vows with Ferris wheel named Bruce
58. Duo stole golf cart from nudist resort for McDonald’s run, Pasco deputies say
59. Kangaroo leads Florida deputies on 10-hour chase
60. Beanie Babies swiped: Men accused of taking little girl’s toys during armed home invasion
61. 75-year-old Orange City man accused of throwing grape at ex-wife’s face, threatening to kill her
62. Drunken woman cries, eats stranger’s food while at PF Changs
63. Florida man dies after winning cockroach-eating contest
64. Robber had shorts on his
65. Polo club founder Goodman adopts his adult girlfriend
66. Thieves kill family’s pet turkey for Thanksgiving meal
67. Lake Park man allegedly obsessed with Fox News, GOP is in jail after threats made to girlfriend
68. Man arrested in DUI case also had squirrel inside his shirt
69. Florida woman Megan causes two-vehicle crash… while shaving her bikini line
70. Florida man too fat for jail
71. Man charged with lawn mower DUI
72. 346-pound man punches Domino’s pizza guy for forgetting his garlic knots, cops say
73. Pink-clad pooch stolen from gay bar by man with Britney tattoo
74. Jackmeoff Mudd arrested In Fort Lauderdale
75. Florida goat skateboards into Guinness Book of World Records
76. Christopher Phillips attacks mom for using his taco sauce, salsa
77. Mark Miller allegedly used sword, sandwich in Florida attack
78. Bogus dentist accused of kissing buttocks of woman with toothache
79. Mom bites daughter who tried to turn off R
80. Florida man bites off girlfriend’s thumb on the way to Taco Bell
81. Florida swingers’ orgy goes horribly wrong
82. Trend of young people drinking hand sanitizer to get drunk hits Florida
83. Wild raccoons invade school, pee on student
84. Largo puppeteer wanted to “cook” and “eat” children
85. “Zombie” attacks continue? Man under the influence gets naked, bites off chunk of man’s arm
86. Man wears drug recipe on shirt, in court
87. Burger King customer ordered “blunt and some herbs”
88. Teen calls cops when she hears mom having sex
89. Lake Park man arrested after confronting girlfriend for “casting spells”
90. Florida man bitten by shark, punched by monkey (twice), struck by lightning, bitten by snake
91. “Mean drunk” smears poop on teen’s face
92. Deputy removes Doritos bag from deer’s head
93. Man tries to trade alligator for beer
94. Florida Man arrested for assault with Taco Bell burrito
95. Deputies: Man terrorized 8-year-old over potato chips
96. Florida Keys woman bites spring breaker’s face for littering
97. Clerk laughed at bandit and just said “no”
98. Florida accidentally banned all computers, smartphones in the state through internet cafeé ban
99. Woman accused of etching image of male genitalia on stranger’s SUV at Publix, left note
100. Man arrested for giving people wedgies
101. Man stabbed brother over missing mac and cheese, beer

[scho63]

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

101 most insane things that have ever happened in Florida

Should be 101,000 most insane things.

[Coochie liquor]

Originally Posted by scho63

Should be 101,000 most insane things.

And it would still not do us justice!!

And not sure how this one isn't on BRC's list. It is a couple years old though.

http://gawker.com/and-not-just-nudit...aid-1608439043

Michael Doster was arrested for domestic battery in Passage Key, Florida after his wife Pamela discovered him in an intimate moment with another man on a boat near the popular nude beach (he and the man were allegedly performing oral sex on each other, the Daily Mail reports). The couple allegedly began arguing whilst atop a Sea-Doo, and Doster threw his wife off the vehicle four separate times. Pamela Doster refused to re-board after hitting her head on the final toss, so her husband left her on a sandbar. Both Dosters were drunk.

Michael called 911 when he returned to shore, and Pamela was found bruised and battered on the sandbar wearing only a life vest. After several days in the hospital, she died. Local law enforcement named Michael as a suspect in the investigation into her death. Manatee County Sheriff's Office spokesman Randy Warren told NBC:

[Discuss Thrower]

Guy with seventies porn stache arrives for the festivities.

FORT MYERS, Fla. — One female student and multiple males had sex in a South Fort Myers High School bathroom, the school’s principal said to Lee County sheriff’s deputies.

The police report said 25 males were seen entering the bathroom Tuesday after school. The girl’s mother is not planning to press charges, the sheriff’s office said.

Didn't see that Scho posted this first.

[DJ's left nut]

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower

Guy with seventies porn stache arrives for the festivities.

Yeah, this one's actually pretty unfortunate if you dig into it a bit.

The girl was an adopted runaway that had been rescued from a sex trafficking ring that she spent years in during her early teens. She's mostly just so mentally damaged at this point that she has no concept of 'established' sexual mores. And at it's core, the story is more along the lines of 'damaged girl bangs a dude she has a crush on, asshole guy brings a bunch of dudes into the stall to watch'.

Pretty shitty to go too far down the road on this one, IMO.

[Discuss Thrower]

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

Yeah, this one's actually pretty unfortunate if you dig into it a bit.

The girl was an adopted runaway that had been rescued from a sex trafficking right that she spent years in during her early teens.

Holy shit.

[DaneMcCloud]

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

Yeah, this one's actually pretty unfortunate if you dig into it a bit.

The girl was an adopted runaway that had been rescued from a sex trafficking right that she spent years in during her early teens. She's mostly just so mentally damaged at this point that she has no concept of 'established' sexual mores. And at it's core, the story is more along the lines of 'damaged girl bangs a dude she has a crush on, asshole guy brings a bunch of dudes into the stall to watch'.

Pretty shitty to go too far down the road on this one, IMO.

The worst part is that she's "proud" of it.

Plus, I'm sorry, WTF? What kind of guy or group of guys want to stand in a bathroom and **** the same chick?

What happened to the unwritten rule of not ****ing your buddy's exes, let alone, pulling a train of 25 guys? That's ****ing gross.

And the school is acting quite strange about the incident, IMO, as well. It's weird all the way around.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Originally Posted by scho63

http://www.aol.com/article/2016/05/2...y-as/21382061/



Disturbing news out of South Fort Myers High School in Lee County, Fla., has parents stunned and sad.



Police have been notified of a bathroom incident that was supposedly recorded and distributed on Snapchat in which a 15-year-old girl had sex with multiple male students after school — and it could have been as many as 25.



This was the number of students who were identified as going into the bathroom at the time the incident took place,FOX 4 reported.



The girl has admitted to having sex with multiple guys.



Parents and students alike relayed their shock. Eric Struble, a father to two 15-year-old girls, could only muster four words.



"Shock. Disbelief. Concern. Sad," he said.



Petislin Cadeau, an 18-year-old student, asked a particularly pertinent question during an interview with FOX 4.



"Like, how did it happen? Like, where was everybody at?" he said. "I heard a video was around, but I never really saw it or anything. It just like circulated around."



He said he'd heard members of the football team were involved.

This one's really sad, actually. The girl at the center of this was apparently abducted and trafficked from age 13-15. She'd only been at the school for two weeks.

And most of the 25 were apparently spectators.

[DJ's left nut]

Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud

The worst part is that she's "proud" of it.

Plus, I'm sorry, WTF? What kind of guy or group of guys want to stand in a bathroom and **** the same chick?

What happened to the unwritten rule of not ****ing your buddy's exes, let alone, pulling a train of 25 guys? That's ****ing gross.

And the school is acting quite strange about the incident, IMO, as well. It's weird all the way around.

I'm not even convinced that's the 'worst' part.

The video is now being given out by shitheaded high schoolers that are trying to get people to follow their youtube channels and turn themselves into internet celebs.

I absolutely goddamn hate this generation. I'm thankful beyond words that I should only need another 20ish years in the work force before I can take my buyout, polish off my spanish and go to some tiny little island nation to spend the rest of my days.

I want no part of the 'leadership' of the ****stains in our present educational system. I'm pretty sure I can get the hell out of dodge before they do too much damage.