Hypothetical: Get reincarnated here.

[Rain Man]

Just for fun, I've been dividing the world up into regions, and just finished last night. I divided the world into 16,789 regions based on states, provinces, communities, islands, arrondissements, or whatever else happened to be handy.

I didn't know what to do with it, so I created a reincarnation simulator. Sign up here and learn about your next life in advance. I'll give you:

Gender: (Male or Female)
Intelligence: 1 to 100, with 100 as the top
Attractiveness: 1 to 100, with 100 as the top
Economic Status: 1 to 100, with 100 as the top
Nation of Future Birth
Region of Future Birth
Population of that Region (which is somewhat useless since the boundaries are generally manmade, but hey, I've got it)

All statuses are relative to the region that you're in, not the world. So if you draw a 50 on economic status and you're born in the Badghis regions of Afghanistan, that means that you're at the median status of Badghis residents.

Sign up below if you're interested in the early release of your next life. I'll do three reincarnations per day, with the goal that we can discuss and decide which of the three has the best future fate awaiting them. Feel free to post pictures, maps, or descriptions of the reincarnated person's life as you see it.

So sign up below and we'll do the first three today.


Methodology: All figures are random. The probability of being born into a particular region is based on the population of that region.

[Gadzooks]

DO ME!!!11!!!!!
Do me hard
Do me like you just got out of jail.

Wait, what I meant to say was "I'm in"? (that's got some weird overtones too).

Please add me to the list of users that will receive a hypothetical reincarnation that's based on a process that produces random results.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by MIAdragon

lets have it.

MIA dragon follows our classic model of "ugly with money", though he's also quite smart. I bet he does reasonably well with the more desperate ladies of Nampula.

Gender Male
Intelligence 87
Appearance 8
Wealth 93
Nation Mozambique
Region Nampula
Population 5,008,793

Rich in Nampula's not exactly luxurious, though. You probably live in the upper floor of one of these fine city condos.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by luv

I'll get reincarnated.

Ooh, a fun island life for luv. You don't exactly have a lot of strong genetic aspects, but you make a decent living selling Coca Cola to the GI's.

Gender Female
Intelligence 30
Appearance 27
Wealth 59
Nation Japan
Region Okinawa
Population 1,421,000

As a middle class person, I suspect you'll live here: https://www.google.com/maps/@26.4170...7i13312!8i6656. All in all, it seems like an acceptable life though I don't know where Okinawans go on vacation.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by cwhocares

And I thought I had to much time on my hands.

cwhocares will have a lot of time on his hands as an unemployed male in the urban core of Karachi, Pakistan. I suspect he'll end up on the no-fly list.

Gender Male
Intelligence 13
Appearance 45
Wealth 22
Nation Pakistan
Region Karachi Central
Population 13,215,631

I suspect you live in one of the nicer homes pictured here, but with no prospects of moving up.

[Amnorix]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

cwhocares will have a lot of time on his hands as an unemployed male in the urban core of Karachi, Pakistan. I suspect he'll end up on the no-fly list.

Gender Male
Intelligence 13
Appearance 45
Wealth 22
Nation Pakistan
Region Karachi Central
Population 13,215,631

I suspect you live in one of the nicer homes pictured here, but with no prospects of moving up.

I was just thinking that this guy's best prospect is to strap a bomb to his chest and pray that the 80 virgins thing is true, THEN I saw your comment bolded above.

I dont' know whether to laugh or cry.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

I'm pretty sure I was an otter in a previous life.

gblowfish will be a pretty bright guy with otherwise tough prospects in central India. Join the club.

Gender Male
Intelligence 64
Appearance 17
Wealth 27
Nation India
Region Aurangabad
Population 3,701,282

You're probably living in an apartment above a store:



On a personal note, I once spent a few days trapped in Aurangabad. The Ajanta and Ellora caves were one of the coolest things I've ever seen, though as my travel friend said, "You haven't truly lived until you've thrown up in Aurangabad".

[luv]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Ooh, a fun island life for luv. You don't exactly have a lot of strong genetic aspects, but you make a decent living selling Coca Cola to the GI's.

Gender Female
Intelligence 30
Appearance 27
Wealth 59
Nation Japan
Region Okinawa
Population 1,421,000

As a middle class person, I suspect you'll live here: https://www.google.com/maps/@26.4170...7i13312!8i6656. All in all, it seems like an acceptable life though I don't know where Okinawans go on vacation.

I don't have to be pretty. I'm not the best looking now anyway. A little bit of money and views like this...I can't complain...

[luv]

Plus, Okinawa is where Mr. Miyagi is from.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Amnorix

I was just thinking that this guy's best prospect is to strap a bomb to his chest and pray that the 80 virgins thing is true, THEN I saw your comment bolded above.

I dont' know whether to laugh or cry.

Yeah, I think impoverished Pakistani men are more typecast these days than William Shatner.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by luv

Plus, Okinawa is where Mr. Miyagi is from.

The bad news is that I'm pretty sure you'll become an army wife and eventually move to Alabama.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Chiefs4TheWin

Convert me oh great Rainman!

Gender Female
Intelligence 90
Appearance 93
Wealth 28
Nation Germany
Region Hochsauerlandkreis
Population 266,511

See, here's your problem, Chiefs4TheWin. You're living in a small town. With your looks and smarts, you need to go to a big city and find a mentor. I know you live in a beautiful area, but don't be wasting your talent working the counter at the hardware store.

I bet you share an apartment with another gorgeous woman in the second floor of this building, so the two of you can sunbathe nude without being disturbed.

[Bwana]

Oh what the heck let me know Rain Man.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Today's reincarnations start with Fire Me Boy. Let's see (rolling the heavenly dice)...

Gender Male
Intelligence 38
Appearance 33
Wealth 76
Nation Azerbaijan
Region Shamkir
Population 173,401

Azerbaijan is a mystery to me, but it seems like a nice place and relatively clean. There are some mountains nearby and easy access to Armenia. You're a guy with family connections, so maybe you'll live in a house like this:

I've been doing some research. I'm probably business owner.

In 2008, Azerbaijan was cited as one of the top 10 reformers by the World Bank's Doing Business Report.[159]

Azerbaijan led the world as the top reformer in 2007/08, with improvements on seven out of 10 indicators of regulatory reform. Azerbaijan started operating a one-stop shop in January 2008 that halved the time, cost and number of procedures to start a business. Business registrations increased by 40% in the first six months. Azerbaijan also eliminated the minimum loan cutoff of $1,100, more than doubling the number of borrowers covered by the credit registry. Also, taxpayers can now file forms and pay their taxes online. Azerbaijan's extensive reforms moved it far up the ranks, from 97 to 33 in the overall ease of doing business.

Azerbaijan is also ranked 57th in the Global Competitiveness Report for 2010–2011, above other CIS countries.[160] By 2012 the GDP of Azerbaijan had increased 20-fold from to its 1995 level.[161]

I'm almost assuredly a Shia Muslim.

Around 98% of the population are Muslims.[203] 92% of the Muslims are Shia Muslims and 8% Sunni Muslims,[204] and the Republic of Azerbaijan has the second highest Shia population percentage in the world.

At least moderately well educated, despite not being very smart. I probably dropped out of college.

A relatively high percentage of Azerbaijanis have obtained some form of higher education, most notably in scientific and technical subjects.

And I dare not speak out against my homeland.

The Constitution of Azerbaijan claims to guarantee freedom of speech, but this is denied in practice. After several years of decline in press and media freedom, in 2014 the media environment in Azerbaijan deteriorated fast under a governmental campaign to silence any opposition and criticism, even while the country led the Committee of Ministers of the Council of Europe (May–November 2014). Spurious legal charges and impunity in violence against journalists have remained the norm.[270] All foreign broadcasts are banned in the country.[269]

According to the 2013 Freedom House Freedom of the Press report, Azerbaijan's press freedom status is "not free," and Azerbaijan ranks 177th out of 196 countries.

In elementary and high school, I was a wrestler. I tried out for the chess club, but apparently you can't make consecutive jumps with a pawn and take out half your opponent's board (that's a checkers joke).

Sport in Azerbaijan has ancient roots, and even now, both traditional and modern sports are still practiced. Freestyle wrestling has been traditionally regarded as Azerbaijan's national sport, in which Azerbaijan won up to fourteen medals, including four golds since joining the National Olympic Committee. Currently, the most popular sports include football and chess.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by GloucesterChief

Might as well hit the karmic cycle and see what happens.

GlouchesterChief is going to get married off just for the money, but she's probably not destined for happiness. I hate to put it this way, but he may be classified as developmentally disabled. At least the family can support her.

Gender Female
Intelligence 4
Appearance 16
Wealth 67
Nation Jordan
Region Amman
Population 1,942,066

You'll live in a nice and reasonably spacious apartment in this neighborhood, but you'll have to have your address tattooed on the back of your hand:

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!

I've been doing some research. I'm probably business owner.



I'm almost assuredly a Shia Muslim.



At least moderately well educated, despite not being very smart. I probably dropped out of college.



And I dare not speak out against my homeland.



In elementary and high school, I was a wrestler. I tried out for the chess club, but apparently you can't make consecutive jumps with a pawn and take out half your opponent's board (that's a checkers joke).

It appears that you live a life of comfort, but also of quiet frustration.