Football Times you've been an asshole - Page 5

RobBlake · 03-08-2017, 07:08 PM

Steal a parking stall while someone was waiting for it? Cut someone off? Not home the door open? Not return home o your wife and kids?

Demonpenz · 03-09-2017, 02:06 PM

I jumped ahead in line today at a convience store when they opened a new lane. THUG LYFE

Demonpenz · 03-09-2017, 02:10 PM

I had a friend in HS piss me off and he had kind of a beater car. I went out and just curb stomped the quarter panel and dented. It was a teenage beater so it wasn't noticed

frozenchief · 03-09-2017, 02:48 PM

20+ years ago, I was taking the California Bar Exam. It was a 3 day exam. Days 1 and 3 involved three 1 hour essays on any number of subjects in the morning and a 3 hour essay in the afternoon based upon a packet of information they give you. That packet was presumed to be all of the law on the subject at hand and you were to write an answer based on the law given you. (Day 2 was a day long multiple choice test if you were interested).

I was taking the test in San Diego. I was typing (which should tell you how long ago it was) and there were about 500 people typing. Another 2500 or so in the main room. We all had badges to identify that we were taking the bar exam.

The last day, I finished the morning portion and left for lunch. I was waiting for the light to turn green to cross the street and another bar examinee came up and was waiting too. She started to talk about one of the questions and whether a particular item was admissible and I knew she got the wrong answer. (Weirdly, I knew I passed at that moment.) She was bright and cheerful and friendly and we were all in this horrible, stressful situation and she says,, "And so I think [whatever her answer was about the issue]. What do you think?"

I just stared at her for a second and just snarled, "I never talk about my tests," and walked away. Didn't look back. Just totally blew her off.

Normally I'm pretty gregarious but anybody who has been through the bar exam can understand why I was an asshole to her.

BigBeauford · 03-09-2017, 03:41 PM

I was a freshman in high school, who was asked to a homecoming dance by a junior, who happened to be a friends' girlfriends' friend. Sort of a blind date. She was reasonably attractive, but she kept poking me all night asking if I was having a good time. I said **** this to my fiend, and walked out of the dance 15 minutes into it when she went to the bathroom. She ended up writing about it in some article in the yearbook under the section "worst thing to happen to me". Her response came in at number two.

rico · 03-09-2017, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I was coming through Oklahoma this weekend and stopped to sleep. I got stir crazy and hit a casino across the road.

While playing blackjack, a lady that looked like the the syrup bottle was sitting by me chatting. She was pleasant, she was funny, she was sexually aggressive....and probably 55-60 and 250. She informed me that she was going to perform a certain kind of marital act upon me.....I politely declined suggesting brideowanian would disapprove.

A little while later, she said she would pay me $4/minute to use my man parts for her own satisfactory reasons. I laughed and told her it would be the worst $2 she ever spent.

oh wait...wrong thread.

When I write the online reviews(that were requested multiple times during my less than satisfactory paid adventure)....I'll be an asshole that day.

BigBeauford · 03-09-2017, 05:49 PM

I said thank you after the person took my order at Chick Fil A just to make them say "My Pleasure".

Spott · 03-09-2017, 06:27 PM

I peed all over the toilet paper dispenser in port-a-potty located in a parking lot of a rival NFL team's stadium.

**alanm** · 03-09-2017, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Times you've been an asshole

What? You mean like today?

BWillie · 03-09-2017, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBeauford

I said thank you after the person took my order at Chick Fil A just to make them say "My Pleasure".

This is really good. I thought about that the other day. What if I said thank you seven times, at different times in the order. Do they have to say my pleasure every time?

**alanm** · 03-09-2017, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dunit35

I am a police officer with a patrol unit parked in front of my house.

Once I had a guy knock on my door to talk about problems....I arrested him a couple days prior and he found my house. I was so pissed and wanted to stab him.

Another incident this lady knocks on my door wanting to speak to the police. It was during the day and my wife answered. My wife got pissed and told her to call the police.

I also hate when people recognize me out on the town and bother me about police issues.

I never had that problem. But then I worked for a higher power

Retired from the *** in 2003. I feel your pain though.

**cabletech94** · 03-09-2017, 07:43 PM

i drive a company vehicle with a pretty big target on it. you'd be surprised how agressive drivers can be in a small college town. i'll see some douche-canoe in my rear view oncoming pretty fast. i'll position myself in the acceleration lane, while a little old lady is driving 5 miles an hour, and wait for said douche to come up behind me. and then i'll drop my speed down to match the old blue hair.
morale of the story, douchebags: slow the eff down!!!

EPodolak · 03-10-2017, 12:49 AM

Let's see if I can tell this clearly: to begin, I'm 15 or so in a movie theater in my hometown with a group of friends. Some of us are being loud and rowdy, a theater employee, Paul G----, who was a few years older than us comes down the darkened aisle and tells us to be quiet. He singles me out in the dark to make an example of, the best behaved of us all, and hollers at me to sit down and that I'm close to being booted. As we got older I knew of Paul G. a bit more. He dealt in cocaine and cars, had a bad temper and was a big fan of the rock group Yes.

Fast forward 30 years. I'm living in the same state, but far away in a different city hours from my hometown. My girlfriend and I get tickets to see Yes play at an arena not far from where we live. I'm excited to see these guys for the first time. They are musical heroes of mine, in particular Steve Howe the guitarist. For whatever reason I'm in a mood the night of the show, I'm wearing a ridiculous fedora and I march us into this small venue and get our seats. The show starts and I wander up closer to the left side of the stage, soon realize there's virtually no security so I barge and push my way up right to the foot and pull out my phone (a blackberry at the time, what an asshole), I lean in and start video taping Steve who is playing just a couple feet directly in front of me. I'm right in the grill of this legend, a hero of mine and all that. I could hear a guy screaming "sit the f--k down" at me. I'm leaned in with the blackberry out in front taping, the guitarist and I make eye contact and then he looks away a little disgusted and I think, worried. Had to be wondering why there's no security to get me away from there. I was a star-struck idiot in that moment, I guess, and oblivious to myself. That's the - I'm an asshole -part of the story. Jesus.

The weird post-script. A couple days later I go to the Yes website and check the reviews of the show. Great show, everyone says. One guy says the venue was great, it was one of the best shows of the many he's seen of the band over the years. He also commented on his seats close to the stage, and about the lack of security and some "yahoo" in the crowd getting too near the musicians. I clicked on the user name below his comment and it brought up my email template with the "To:" field populated with the name, you guessed it: Paul G----.

kjwood75nro · 03-10-2017, 01:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dunit35

I am a police officer with a patrol unit parked in front of my house.

Once I had a guy knock on my door to talk about problems....I arrested him a couple days prior and he found my house. I was so pissed and wanted to stab him.

Another incident this lady knocks on my door wanting to speak to the police. It was during the day and my wife answered. My wife got pissed and told her to call the police.

I also hate when people recognize me out on the town and bother me about police issues.

I hate that. Even without the fear of being targeted, it's still annoying as shit.

I had a lean-to garage that I finally converted into an enclosed garage so people wouldn't know if I was home or not.

Problem is, in a small town, everybody already knows you and where you live, so you still get unsolicited visits.

And then you're the asshole for not dropping everything, or telling them to call your public number or not show up unannounced.

And eating in public, my God. Billy Bob Thorton did it best in Bad Santa.

**Dartgod** · 03-10-2017, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by listopencil

At one time I worked around mechanics although I'm not one. I noticed that they each had at least one idiosyncrasy related to how they went about their work. So, I was bored one day, and pitted all of them against each other just for fun. One guy (Mark) would become unglued if anyone messed with his boxes of rubber gloves. So while he was away busy I stole both boxes of his gloves and hid them in my locker. Then I grabbed a fist full of them and set them on a different (Steve) guy's work bench. So when Mark came back he looked around and asked me if I knew what happened to his gloves, of course I say I don't know but I think I saw some on Steve's bench. They had a short but intense disagreement about it. When Mark came back over to me he was pissed and wanted to do something to Steve so I pointed out how much Steve hated it when people messed with his tools. And then once Steve noticed that his tools were messed with I mentioned to Steve that another mechanic (Mike) was near his tools earlier. So, you can see where this went. I managed to insinuate myself into each conflict and egg it on. By lunch time they all wanted to kill each other. At one point one of the mechanics actually drove through the shop and hurled another guy's toolbag about ten feet spilling them everywhere. And they never suspected me because I'm more of the 'glue' kind of guy at work that keeps things going and is always helpful. So much so that they would tend to forget that I am also occasionally evil for no reason whatsoever. They never did figure out that I caused the entire mess.

Needful Things

**gblowfish** · 03-10-2017, 11:45 AM

There was this one time in 2009 where I was at Arrowhead. It was Dec 20th, the last home game of the year, and it was Fan Appreciation Day. The game was blacked out in KC (last one to be blacked out) because it was a 39 degree and drizzling, cold crappy day. Tickets sold were 53,000, but the crowd was maybe 40,000 or less.

The Chiefs and Browns were both 3-11. Todd Haley was the head coach. The Chiefs gave up 351 yards rushing and 3 TDs on defense, plus two 100 yard plus kickoff returns for TDs to Josh Cribbs. They lost at home, on Fan Appreciation Day, 41 to 34, to a 3-11 team. They blew a 24-20 halftime lead. Brady Quinn was the Browns starting QB. Brady.....Frickin....Quinn.

After the game, I enthusiastically suggested to the coach that his employment status should be re-evaluated by Chiefs Management immediately after such a dismal performance, and the subsequent dismal season results. I suggested that perhaps it would be best for all concerned if he were to explore and arrange alternate career opportunities. Coach Haley acknowledged these suggestions by replying non-verbally before retiring into the tunnel to the locker room.

I guess we were both assholes that day.

http://www.pro-football-reference.co...0912200kan.htm

03-08-2017, 07:08 PM
RobBlake Banned Join Date: Aug 2013 Casino cash: $10011127	Times you've been an asshole Steal a parking stall while someone was waiting for it? Cut someone off? Not home the door open? Not return home o your wife and kids?
Posts: 7,127

03-09-2017, 02:06 PM	#61
Demonpenz Woman should only make babies Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $-363864	I jumped ahead in line today at a convience store when they opened a new lane. THUG LYFE __________________
Posts: 54,953

03-09-2017, 02:10 PM	#62
Demonpenz Woman should only make babies Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $-363864	I had a friend in HS piss me off and he had kind of a beater car. I went out and just curb stomped the quarter panel and dented. It was a teenage beater so it wasn't noticed __________________
Posts: 54,953

03-09-2017, 02:48 PM	#63
frozenchief Cynical Misanthrope Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Alaska Casino cash: $-1700000	20+ years ago, I was taking the California Bar Exam. It was a 3 day exam. Days 1 and 3 involved three 1 hour essays on any number of subjects in the morning and a 3 hour essay in the afternoon based upon a packet of information they give you. That packet was presumed to be all of the law on the subject at hand and you were to write an answer based on the law given you. (Day 2 was a day long multiple choice test if you were interested). I was taking the test in San Diego. I was typing (which should tell you how long ago it was) and there were about 500 people typing. Another 2500 or so in the main room. We all had badges to identify that we were taking the bar exam. The last day, I finished the morning portion and left for lunch. I was waiting for the light to turn green to cross the street and another bar examinee came up and was waiting too. She started to talk about one of the questions and whether a particular item was admissible and I knew she got the wrong answer. (Weirdly, I knew I passed at that moment.) She was bright and cheerful and friendly and we were all in this horrible, stressful situation and she says,, "And so I think [whatever her answer was about the issue]. What do you think?" I just stared at her for a second and just snarled, "I never talk about my tests," and walked away. Didn't look back. Just totally blew her off. Normally I'm pretty gregarious but anybody who has been through the bar exam can understand why I was an asshole to her.
Posts: 4,338

03-09-2017, 03:41 PM	#64
BigBeauford MVP Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Lenexa, KS Casino cash: $1486717	I was a freshman in high school, who was asked to a homecoming dance by a junior, who happened to be a friends' girlfriends' friend. Sort of a blind date. She was reasonably attractive, but she kept poking me all night asking if I was having a good time. I said **** this to my fiend, and walked out of the dance 15 minutes into it when she went to the bathroom. She ended up writing about it in some article in the yearbook under the section "worst thing to happen to me". Her response came in at number two.
Posts: 14,411

03-09-2017, 05:49 PM	#66
BigBeauford MVP Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Lenexa, KS Casino cash: $1486717	I said thank you after the person took my order at Chick Fil A just to make them say "My Pleasure".
Posts: 14,411

03-09-2017, 06:27 PM	#67
Spott Court Jester Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Orlando Casino cash: $-787600	I peed all over the toilet paper dispenser in port-a-potty located in a parking lot of a rival NFL team's stadium.
Posts: 20,695

03-09-2017, 07:43 PM	#71
cabletech94 Everything is Awesome!!!!! Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: The Pitt Casino cash: $-1543195	i drive a company vehicle with a pretty big target on it. you'd be surprised how agressive drivers can be in a small college town. i'll see some douche-canoe in my rear view oncoming pretty fast. i'll position myself in the acceleration lane, while a little old lady is driving 5 miles an hour, and wait for said douche to come up behind me. and then i'll drop my speed down to match the old blue hair. morale of the story, douchebags: slow the eff down!!! __________________ Originally Posted by Big Smoke May as well laugh. Otherwise I will probably break shit.
Posts: 11,581

03-10-2017, 12:49 AM	#72
EPodolak Spooky Action Join Date: Dec 2003 Casino cash: $-1147442	Let's see if I can tell this clearly: to begin, I'm 15 or so in a movie theater in my hometown with a group of friends. Some of us are being loud and rowdy, a theater employee, Paul G----, who was a few years older than us comes down the darkened aisle and tells us to be quiet. He singles me out in the dark to make an example of, the best behaved of us all, and hollers at me to sit down and that I'm close to being booted. As we got older I knew of Paul G. a bit more. He dealt in cocaine and cars, had a bad temper and was a big fan of the rock group Yes. Fast forward 30 years. I'm living in the same state, but far away in a different city hours from my hometown. My girlfriend and I get tickets to see Yes play at an arena not far from where we live. I'm excited to see these guys for the first time. They are musical heroes of mine, in particular Steve Howe the guitarist. For whatever reason I'm in a mood the night of the show, I'm wearing a ridiculous fedora and I march us into this small venue and get our seats. The show starts and I wander up closer to the left side of the stage, soon realize there's virtually no security so I barge and push my way up right to the foot and pull out my phone (a blackberry at the time, what an asshole), I lean in and start video taping Steve who is playing just a couple feet directly in front of me. I'm right in the grill of this legend, a hero of mine and all that. I could hear a guy screaming "sit the f--k down" at me. I'm leaned in with the blackberry out in front taping, the guitarist and I make eye contact and then he looks away a little disgusted and I think, worried. Had to be wondering why there's no security to get me away from there. I was a star-struck idiot in that moment, I guess, and oblivious to myself. That's the - I'm an asshole -part of the story. Jesus. The weird post-script. A couple days later I go to the Yes website and check the reviews of the show. Great show, everyone says. One guy says the venue was great, it was one of the best shows of the many he's seen of the band over the years. He also commented on his seats close to the stage, and about the lack of security and some "yahoo" in the crowd getting too near the musicians. I clicked on the user name below his comment and it brought up my email template with the "To:" field populated with the name, you guessed it: Paul G----.
Posts: 6,717

03-10-2017, 11:45 AM	#75
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $16886178 VARSITY	There was this one time in 2009 where I was at Arrowhead. It was Dec 20th, the last home game of the year, and it was Fan Appreciation Day. The game was blacked out in KC (last one to be blacked out) because it was a 39 degree and drizzling, cold crappy day. Tickets sold were 53,000, but the crowd was maybe 40,000 or less. The Chiefs and Browns were both 3-11. Todd Haley was the head coach. The Chiefs gave up 351 yards rushing and 3 TDs on defense, plus two 100 yard plus kickoff returns for TDs to Josh Cribbs. They lost at home, on Fan Appreciation Day, 41 to 34, to a 3-11 team. They blew a 24-20 halftime lead. Brady Quinn was the Browns starting QB. Brady.....Frickin....Quinn. After the game, I enthusiastically suggested to the coach that his employment status should be re-evaluated by Chiefs Management immediately after such a dismal performance, and the subsequent dismal season results. I suggested that perhaps it would be best for all concerned if he were to explore and arrange alternate career opportunities. Coach Haley acknowledged these suggestions by replying non-verbally before retiring into the tunnel to the locker room. I guess we were both assholes that day. http://www.pro-football-reference.co...0912200kan.htm
Posts: 41,016