Divorce....

[rico]

Her and I were pretty cold and distant to each other for a month or so, but then the last two weeks she started dolling up and batting her eyes at me and looking at me in a way that I haven’t seen from her since we were 18 and began dating the first time. I knew then, yeah...we aren’t gonna go through with it. She loves me now and is feeling those same butterflies she felt when we first met at a wrestling meet when we were Seniors and she was all flirty and batty-eyed. It’s been like that since. I swear, the 6 week absence did make us grow fonder.

If I were to think of a happy thought that put me in a happy place, I’d think of how she has looked at me like I’m the hero of her world the past couple weeks...the same way she looked at me the first couple years. I am so happy to have gotten that back for now.

[kjwood75nro]

Originally Posted by rico

Her and I were pretty cold and distant to each other for a month or so, but then the last two weeks she started dolling up and batting her eyes at me and looking at me in a way that I haven’t seen from her since we were 18 and began dating the first time. I knew then, yeah...we aren’t gonna go through with it. She loves me now and is feeling those same butterflies she felt when we first met at a wrestling meet when we were Seniors and she was all flirty and batty-eyed. It’s been like that since. I swear, the 6 week absence did make us grow fonder.

If I were to think of a happy thought that put me in a happy place, I’d think of how she has looked at me like I’m the hero of her world the past couple weeks...the same way she looked at me the first couple years. I am so happy to have gotten that back for now.

Originally Posted by rico

Her and I were pretty cold and distant to each other for a month or so, but then the last two weeks she started dolling up and batting her eyes at me and looking at me in a way that I haven’t seen from her since we were 18 and began dating the first time. I knew then, yeah...we aren’t gonna go through with it. She loves me now and is feeling those same butterflies she felt when we first met at a wrestling meet when we were Seniors and she was all flirty and batty-eyed. It’s been like that since. I swear, the 6 week absence did make us grow fonder.

If I were to think of a happy thought that put me in a happy place, I’d think of how she has looked at me like I’m the hero of her world the past couple weeks...the same way she looked at me the first couple years. I am so happy to have gotten that back for now.

Do you know why she looks at you like you're cool, or are you just accepting it and enjoying it temporarily, hoping it'll last but deep-down expecting it won't?

Clearly, there was something cool about you that attracted her in the first place, that caused her to fall in love with you first.

But what does she have? Does she have any "game" other than showing her pussy and asshole in the morning? If not, then she's the one with little value, not you, and your attitude should reflect that.

[rico]

Originally Posted by kjwood75nro

Do you know why she looks at you like you're cool, or are you just accepting it and enjoying it temporarily, hoping it'll last but deep-down expecting it won't?

Clearly, there was something cool about you that attracted her in the first place, that caused her to fall in love with you first.

But what does she have? Does she have any "game" other than showing her pussy and asshole in the morning? If not, then she's the one with little value, not you.

This is a thought provoking post.

I see what you mean and it’s not a bad point because I made it come off that way. It’s not like our relationship was/is solely based on her waking me up with her butt in my face. There is more to it. And she didn’t totally lose the glow from the first couple years, it’s just back then she idolized me because I was the local powerhouse wrestling team’s captain and she was a cheerleader for a rival school and she thought I was hot and funny. She’s always thought I was/am funny. It’s like when we met, a lot of these cheerleaders had crushes on me and the look I described I guess could be considered a flirty expression...I know the expression. I hadn’t seen that flirty expression in years. When you get to know someone and date them long enough, you start not really seeing the need to flirt. You get passed that stage. You get comfortable and used to it. And her flirty face came back. It was nostalgic and nice to see. I felt 18 again.

The way I look at it, we both have our qualities, both have areas we need to work on, both have areas where we are mutually awesome together and both have areas where we can be toxic together. I don’t think there is a good/bad guy or a good/bad gal in our situation. She’s very funny, selfless, caring, nice, etc. I won’t get into the things I think she needs to improve. I will save that for counseling. I make her laugh to this day, I’ve been working out, I provide, I take care of the bills, I care for her beyond words, I’m loyal and literally only have eyes for her...don’t even watch porn, I am generally nice. However, I upset her when I get distracted with things not related to the family. 3rd shift can also make me short and cranky...I hate it. I can be argumentative when it’s not necessary. I get jealous. There are things I can work on. Together we excel at raising our kids, having fun, being fun to be around, telling each other constantly that we love each other, conversation in general...we are best friends. However, the toxicity from us as a duo shows its face at times...we shouldn’t drink together. We spend too much time on our phones at times. We have a difficult time letting go of the past. We argue. We make assumptions. Things took a nasty turn when we both began taking each other for granted... that’s when I think things imploded.

I am optimistic that we can fix all of this. I reallllly wanna get off 3rd shift. We’ve been doing good lately. Been working out together, fishing, camping, etc. Need to keep the positive momentum going.

[ChiefsHawk]

Originally Posted by rico

This is a thought provoking post.

I see what you mean and it’s not a bad point because I made it come off that way. It’s not like our relationship was/is solely based on her waking me up with her butt in my face. There is more to it. And she didn’t totally lose the glow from the first couple years, it’s just back then she idolized me because I was the local powerhouse wrestling team’s captain and she was a cheerleader for a rival school and she thought I was hot and funny. She’s always thought I was/am funny. It’s like when we met, a lot of these cheerleaders had crushes on me and the look I described I guess could be considered a flirty expression...I know the expression. I hadn’t seen that flirty expression in years. When you get to know someone and date them long enough, you start not really seeing the need to flirt. You get passed that stage. You get comfortable and used to it. And her flirty face came back. It was nostalgic and nice to see. I felt 18 again.

The way I look at it, we both have our qualities, both have areas we need to work on, both have areas where we are mutually awesome together and both have areas where we can be toxic together. I don’t think there is a good/bad guy or a good/bad gal in our situation. She’s very funny, selfless, caring, nice, etc. I won’t get into the things I think she needs to improve. I will save that for counseling. I make her laugh to this day, I’ve been working out, I provide, I take care of the bills, I care for her beyond words, I’m loyal and literally only have eyes for her...don’t even watch porn, I am generally nice. However, I upset her when I get distracted with things not related to the family. 3rd shift can also make me short and cranky...I hate it. I can be argumentative when it’s not necessary. I get jealous. There are things I can work on. Together we excel at raising our kids, having fun, being fun to be around, telling each other constantly that we love each other, conversation in general...we are best friends. However, the toxicity from us as a duo shows its face at times...we shouldn’t drink together. We spend too much time on our phones at times. We have a difficult time letting go of the past. We argue. We make assumptions. Things took a nasty turn when we both began taking each other for granted... that’s when I think things imploded.

I am optimistic that we can fix all of this. I reallllly wanna get off 3rd shift. We’ve been doing good lately. Been working out together, fishing, camping, etc. Need to keep the positive momentum going.

Not saying it's the only issue but it sounds like a lot of your problems/issues come from your work/shift. If possible I think i'd consider changes if possible

[rico]

Originally Posted by ChiefsHawk

Not saying it's the only issue but it sounds like a lot of your problems/issues come from your work/shift. If possible I think i'd consider changes if possible

Oh my goodness you are on to something there. It is the single most detrimental thing to our relationship right now, IMO. I never get sleep. I hate the hours. I get grouchy and short with people (and I'm a nice guy) and worst of all, her and I are social people...I can't freaking stand it when she goes out to do something while I am at work. That is when my wheels turn and I get pissy as hell...always imagining the worst case scenario, when its never the case. It drives me nuts and it affects my job performance. I should get on 1st shift in one more year. One more year of this 3rd shift bullshit.

[lewdog]

Originally Posted by rico

Oh my goodness you are on to something there. It is the single most detrimental thing to our relationship right now, IMO. I never get sleep. I hate the hours. I get grouchy and short with people (and I'm a nice guy) and worst of all, her and I are social people...I can't freaking stand it when she goes out to do something while I am at work. That is when my wheels turn and I get pissy as hell...always imagining the worst case scenario, when its never the case. It drives me nuts and it affects my job performance. I should get on 1st shift in one more year. One more year of this 3rd shift bullshit.

Is the pay difference for 3rd shift significant?

I’d be changing regardless. Seems to make you and her unhappy.

[rico]

Originally Posted by lewdog

Is the pay difference for 3rd shift significant?

I’d be changing regardless. Seems to make you and her unhappy.

It does make her and I both unhappy. Problem is, I have to wait for someone to retire to get on. I’m like 2nd in line now.

The shift differential is like .75... totally worth switching.

Another problem...my dad is the foreman of day shift. This is a plant that is high paying and hires a bunch of badass, efficient workers...tons of employees. And my dad is an assertive enough guy to be The foreman of first shift. A total hardass. Intimidating. He knows what I’ve gone through with 3rd though and he said he’d get me on, regardless if people bitch about nepotism.

[raybec 4]

Originally Posted by rico

Oh my goodness you are on to something there. It is the single most detrimental thing to our relationship right now, IMO. I never get sleep. I hate the hours. I get grouchy and short with people (and I'm a nice guy) and worst of all, her and I are social people...I can't freaking stand it when she goes out to do something while I am at work. That is when my wheels turn and I get pissy as hell...always imagining the worst case scenario, when its never the case. It drives me nuts and it affects my job performance. I should get on 1st shift in one more year. One more year of this 3rd shift bullshit.

Going to first shift is fine, but it won't fix your trust issues.

[rico]

Originally Posted by raybec 4

Going to first shift is fine, but it won't fix your trust issues.

I guarantee you it will. Because I won’t be working at night anymore. It’s different having this situation on 3rd shift, trust me. I have thought about this ALOT.