Ask Iowanian. Pt II, the Keyboard of Doom

[Iowanian]

If you've got a problem, yo Ahll Solve it, check out my hooks, while DJ revolves it..tss tss ts tss tst

If Dr Laura, Dr Phil or Ann Landers couldn't help you.....Serve it up.


Its the offseason, the board needs something other than politics. This thread, and the answers will go where you take it. A serious Question....I'll try to help, and or rely on others......A not serious question....You'll get what you ask for.


disclaimer: Iowanian is not a licensed Doctor, Psychologist or anything else. No responsibility shall be taken by advisors on any issue within the thread. The answer "I have no #@%&* idea " is valid and acceptable for these purposes. If the thread sucks, it shall fade into planet oblivion.

[Baby Lee]

I'm having difficulty gaining traction in my efforts to change from poseur White Rapper to poseur BMX-er to poseur Punk frontman. Any good PR advice?

[JimNasium]

Should I trust a man that wears a pinky ring?

[Baby Lee]

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

tsk, tsk. Rob raced dirtbikes w/ motors, not BMX.

MX? BMX?
Fade? Dreds? Buzzcut?
Who fuggin cares? It's Rob.

BTW - in search of an avenue to arise, like the Phoenix, back to the big time, how do these two words grab you;



Trucker Hats!!!

[ChiTown]

Sometimes, I get that "not so fresh feeling"...

Any advice?

Signed
Stinky Ol' Box or SOB

[Bootlegged]

My penis doesn't fit in my pants anymore. Should I just let it hang out?

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

Should we make an "Ask Dr. Iowanian" forum again?

Lets just see how the thread "goes" for now. I'm sure a plethora will think it sucks, and find it non-useful and not funny.

in next week's addition, Delt...we'll discuss what happens to a chicken when its head is pulled off.

next.
(I need to think of a clever ending...I'd use "and thats all Ah have ta say about tha-at"....but F. Gump beat me to it)

[ndbbm]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

(I need to think of a clever ending...I'd use "and thats all Ah have ta say about tha-at"....but F. Gump beat me to it)

Mah-jick legs!, Lt. Daaaaan.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by Baby Lee

I'm having difficulty gaining traction in my efforts to change from poseur White Rapper to poseur BMX-er to poseur Punk frontman. Any good PR advice?

Vanilla...I'd recommend getting a job running a grinder at a welding shop. That will allow you to think of new rifs to steal, while giving you ample time to practice your rymes....and the noise of the grinding wheel on that steel tank, will save others from your attempt.


Also..Just come clean.....You stole the Rif from bowie.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by ChiTown

Sometimes, I get that "not so fresh feeling"...

Any advice?

Signed
Stinky Ol' Box or SOB

Is this an internal or an external problem? either way, I'd refrain from allowing homeless people to insert anything into your cavity or vica versa.

Its long been known that the more foul the odor of cheese, the more it costs....find yourself a plastic butter knife, some pretty dixie cups, some extra stregth plastic wrap, and market that chicheese to foreign markets as an export. Lost cost of production....

Your only other option involves a car wash, a bottle of windex, a wire brush and an unfortunate rash.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by Lattimer

My penis doesn't fit in my pants anymore. Should I just let it hang out?

Is it poking through the gaps between the zipper teeth again? how unfortunate.

My best advice is to stop attempting to wear those acid washed Jeans, with the Def Leopard rips that you wore when you were 14. You've gained 90lbs, they look like crap and the mooseknuckle is scary to your shoe salesman.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

If I were to believe my elementary school teachers, it would run around like an 8 year old me w/ too much sugar.

A combination of that......and what your mother told you would happen when you choked your chicken.......and on a trampoline, with a red mist exiting where your cranium used to reside.

[siberian khatru]

Does Brideowanian still make those snorting sounds during sex like she did in high school?

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by siberian khatru

Does Brideowanian still make those snorting sounds during sex like she did in high school?

well Audience...It appears we've got a special guest today. She did tell me about you. The rest of the story is that the only time she actually snorts...is during uncontrollable laughter. She said that while your "affliction" would cause pitty by some, the actual defect itself was funnier than watching Eddie Murphy Delerious in a room full of midget acrobats. While, during my visits to your hometown...I can't quite say you were described as a "star"...I'll say there is some Cult-like status....shared with some guy named "ThoroughBred ED".

So...The best answer to this question is that I wouldn't have a clue....I am too occupied by the look of Inspiration, that WHOA!, the blinding bright light that appears from the thin air in my direction, and the sound of a Girls Chior singing of Exhaultation.

Maybe I should show her this and see if She's got anything to add?

[siberian khatru]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

well Audience...It appears we've got a special guest today. She did tell me about you. The rest of the story is that the only time she actually snorts...is during uncontrollable laughter. She said that while your "affliction" would cause pitty by some, the actual defect itself was funnier than watching Eddie Murphy Delerious in a room full of midget acrobats. While, during my visits to your hometown...I can't quite say you were described as a "star"...I'll say there is some Cult-like status....shared with some guy named "ThoroughBred ED".

So...The best answer to this question is that I wouldn't have a clue....I am too occupied by the look of Inspiration, that WHOA!, the blinding bright light that appears from the thin air in my direction, and the sound of a Girls Chior singing of Exhaultation.

I knew that would inspire you.