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The Guy With The Goats
Join Date: Jan 2017
Casino cash: $-1697687
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Widower's Club
Gained membership into the club last Saturday at 8:10AM.
Throwing a party today. Bunch of people coming to the farm today. Spreading ashes. It is kinda ****ed up because we came out here to get away from people, yet today what I need is people around me, but I'm also *REALLY* looking forward to them all going away. We weren't Christian. In neither of our estimation (hers and mine) is she in "a better place", "teaching kids in heaven", or "fulfilling God's plan". Not to take anything away from you all who believe. That isn't even remotely my intent. Just thinking about the platitudes I've heard so far and how unhelpful the majority of them are. Her place was here, with me, with our dogs, with our animals. I had 30-40 years left with her. She is not where she belongs. ---- Best thing I ever did was give her a gigantic leatherbound journal for our first anniversary. I now have the past 15 years of her innermost thoughts, her drawings, her struggles, and her victories all at my fingertips. Biggest takeaway so far is that I just need to tread water for the next 6 months. No big decisions, no moving, no ending the lives of all my pets and then squaring myself away. It has been a week and it has gotten "easier" to bear which is just code words for "just being in your house isn't gonna make you lose your shit"... it means that you get used to being in the house UNTIL you see something that brings up a specific memory or someone says something that touches on one of your inside secrets or struggles as a couple. Then you lose it all over again. Then, and only then, does your brain get the chance to prepare itself for the next time it sees or hears that specific reference. --- Life is short, it is beautiful... but it is also ****ing horseshit. The only actual and truly wonderful part of mine is gone. https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries...msHuTgYiRw8e-Y /don't worry about condolences for me or the like... take that energy and put it towards that person you married. Get up from your desk, find them, and squeeze the **** out of them instead. |
Posts: 11,620
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#61 | |
Kind of a mod
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Donkey Land
Casino cash: $-1693101
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Quote:
Sometimes you do things more for family than for yourselves. |
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Posts: 53,134
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#62 | |
MVP
Join Date: Aug 2017
Casino cash: $2910400
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Quote:
Do for family. |
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Posts: 15,755
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#63 |
The Guy With The Goats
Join Date: Jan 2017
Casino cash: $-1697687
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There was no dig, I even went out and edited my post to add a smile to let you know that I’m just answering.
That said… You wanna provide some clarification here? Ban or not, if you mean what I think you mean then drop me an address in PM and I’ll work to arrange a meeting between yourself and my wife. She will tell you everything she has learned. |
Posts: 11,620
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#64 |
Ultrabanned
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Northland
Casino cash: $-1700644
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Very sorry you’re going thru this MJ.
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Posts: 43,810
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#65 | |
MVP
Join Date: Aug 2017
Casino cash: $2910400
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Quote:
Don't be eDave. See, that won't work. We will be in different locations. And if there is nothing, no one to talk to then. |
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Posts: 15,755
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#66 |
Ultrabanned
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Northland
Casino cash: $-1700644
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Is this the part where if this has the prayer emoji in the thread title Carr would be removed?
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Posts: 43,810
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#67 |
MVP
Join Date: Aug 2017
Casino cash: $2910400
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I am not the poster issuing vague physical threats.
But I will retire to prevent any more hurt feelings. |
Posts: 15,755
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#68 |
Ultrabanned
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Northland
Casino cash: $-1700644
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Posts: 43,810
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#69 | |
The Guy With The Goats
Join Date: Jan 2017
Casino cash: $-1697687
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Quote:
As foretold in the prophesies. Big smack talk… no substance. It’s like you got all your feelings so hurt by people negging you forgot for half a second that I’ve lost every ****ing will to live and taking someone out with me sounds like a ****ing blast. Dunno why you are taking out your fe fees being hurt on me bud but your shit is misplaced. I’m gonna chalk it up to you not having our bowl of morning methamphetamines and move along for now. |
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Posts: 11,620
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#70 | |
MVP
Join Date: Aug 2017
Casino cash: $2910400
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Quote:
I asked a simple question. People got upset over it. It has definitely regrettably escalated since then. I am not pleased with that development or my previous reply. |
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Posts: 15,755
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#71 | |
'Tis my eye!
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
Casino cash: $8179900
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Quote:
I'm not sure I'd even make it a year. I'm sure I'd burn out in a blaze of glory, quite literally. |
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Posts: 104,292
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#72 |
Dazed and Confused
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Somewhere Out There
Casino cash: $-1679500
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I can't imagine being without my wife. Condolences to you and your family sir.
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Posts: 19,854
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#73 |
fides quaerens intellectum
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: United States
Casino cash: $8330900
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Very sorry for your loss, M. Janx. I have no comforting words and no way to empathize. But I will take your advice.
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Posts: 15,986
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#74 |
What's up braj?
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Placencia, Belize
Casino cash: $-1606750
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Then ****ing delete your posts and apologize, dumb shit.
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Posts: 16,917
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#75 | |
MVP
Join Date: Aug 2017
Casino cash: $2910400
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Quote:
Fine by me. The general gist of that paragraph can be understood. No need to keep it going in my camp. Find peace. As I said before, sorry for your loss. |
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Posts: 15,755
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