Lincoln, NE...

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by LiveSteam

The ****.
We have 20 billion ears of corn in this state. And not one ear of corn is the same.
If you can't look out your car window and watch the rows of corn role bye. You just don't appreciate corn.
And you're gay.

I spent a lot of time in rural Minnesota this month staring at cornfields, and then drove across rural Nebraska for a couple of days. I have one word to describe my experience.

Flies.

WTF is with all of the flies? I presume it has some connection with fertilizer, but the flies were off the hook. At one point I made the mistake of rolling my car window down for a half-hour or so while I was parked, and when I got back in there were 12 to 14 flies that had taken up residence inside, and they refused to leave. There were flies everywhere I went. I stayed at a hotel that actually provided a fly swatter.

At one point I was on the SD-MN border, and I stopped at a McDonald's for lunch. Two booths away, a group of farmers congregated one by one. There were two, and then three, and then four, and so on. Some enormous pickup would pull into the lot and they'd say, "There's Merle. It looks like he's in town for fertilizer."

But anyway, a couple of these farmers brought fly swatters into the McDonalds with them and they hunted flies for sport. I would be peacefully eating my burger and then suddenly - SWACK! - one of them would go after a fly right next to me. I realize that they were providing a positive public service, but it was kind of disconcerting. It reminded me of those guys planning to rob the drug dealer in Boogie Nights, and that little Chinese guy would keep startling them with firecrackers.

It was an awesome scene, but you don't like being the one getting constantly startled by firecrackers and/or fly swatters.