I am learning empathy for the homeless

[Hydrae]

I don't even know how to start. Right now, it looks like my wife and I may be homeless next month. I was laid off from my job after 9 and a half years because the company decided to change the structure of their gold standard support team. That was a wonderful Monday morning last October. At least the one other time I was laid off it was because they moved their support team to India. That was at least kind of understandable. They also gave me a month's severance pay for each year I had worked for them (6 years). This time I got 2 months of severance for my 9.5 years of service. Given my previous experience, that felt like an additional slap to the face.

In an attempt to keep our house, we have left it and leased it out to 2 of my children, a nephew, and a close friend of one of my sons. This is not a good time to try to sell and we were to the point where we weren't sure we could pay the mortgage. They are covering the mortgage plus about $1000. So technically we have some income and even own a house. That "income" is great, but it doesn't go very far and is far from covering the rent on the apartment we have rented. And without an income we can't even tap into the ~$250,000 of equity (monetary term, not social bullshit!). I suppose we could put it on the market but that would screw over the young people there now and I don't want to pass my trouble to the next generation.

I have worked in tech support for the entirety of this century and that is only 4 jobs. I have never been a job hopper obviously. Since I was laid off last October, I have sent out hundreds of resumes. In that time, I have gotten less than 20 initial interviews and maybe 6 actual interviews. I even made it through the entire process a couple of times but obviously nothing has panned out. I will be 64 in a couple of weeks, and I have to wonder if part of the issue has been a form of ageism. At this point in my life, I am not excited to grow in a career. I just want to do awesome work, go home, and retire in a few years. Corporate America wants people who are looking to advance and better themselves. Of course, in a year or two that new hire will move on to the next opportunity while I would still be there consistent as always (as seen by 4 jobs in over 20 years).

So we made the fateful decision to follow our dream. We had plans to move back "home" to Oregon this past spring. Losing my job put the kibosh on that. Well, in our attempt to keep the house until the Fed lowers interest rates and the housing market to heat back up a little, we have moved to Oregon. I have been working remote since before the pandemic so I should be able to work from anywhere. Of course, after the last 10 months finances are thin to be kind, so it was a bit of a leap of faith. We are here now on the Oregon coast, my wife has a part time job that she loves but doesn't pay much, and I am trying to find ANYTHING at this point. I thought I was going to get a retail job making a whopping $16.75 an hour (I was making $84k a year before the layoff) but got screwed up regarding the drug test and lost that opportunity. Sorry, I do not follow blind links in a text. They could have at least put a note in the text about what the link was for. Well, that was the order for me to go piss in a cup and it expired in 48 hours. I was under the impression that I was going to get an email and was waiting for them to finish a background check. This is considered the same as a failure, so I am out with no recourse. I do feel bad for the manager as she was desperate for someone and will likely have to cancel her vacation in a few weeks.

I know a lot of this is just rambling, but it is how messed up my head is right now. I can't sleep for more than an hour at a time. It is 3 AM as I type this. I have never had an issue with getting a job in my life and have never been out of work for more than a few weeks. Right now, not only do I not see a light at the end of the tunnel, there isn't even a sign of a train. It is just black, and I am stumbling along with no idea where I may be heading. This does lead me to saying thank you to Detox. I noted his signature line a couple days ago and sent him a rep because it buoyed me up. He responded with a wonderfully supportive note which, given my current emotional and mental state, made me cry. That was also the day before I learned that I had screwed up the potential job I had on the line.

So, as the thread title states, I better understand how some of the homeless came to be that way through no fault of their own. I can tell you, the depression and desperation that I am going through does just functioning on a daily basis very hard.

Sorry to dump on everyone's day. I had to try to get some of this crap out of my head. No replies necessary, I just thank Kyle for creating this wonderful community where I can vent. Now I am going to go cry again and maybe, hopefully, get some more sleep.

[Fat Elvis]

Originally Posted by Hydrae

Thank you to everyone who has responded. I appreciate the thoughts and advice. I am not surprised at the temporary turn the thread took. This is CP after all!

In answer to some of the questions:

1. The 401k is dead at this point. That resource has sadly been used up.

2. I have always thought I would work until I was 70 to maximize my Social Security benefits. I did give in to reality a couple days ago and applied. If nothing else, the benefit is weighted to the last 5 years of employment and it appears likely that I will be earning significantly less the next few years. So yes, I am legally retired I suppose.

3. Why Oregon and now? I have worked remote tech support for several years and if I were to get a similar position my location would not really matter. If I need to have an onsite job, I would prefer it to be in our dream location where we were planning to be anyway. We are both from here and this is a returning home finally. Yes, I jumped off a cliff and the fall has been scary. Now it looks like the ground is coming fast and it scares the piss out of me.

On a more positive note, it looks like I will have an interview at Fred Meyer (think regional Walmart) this afternoon. I will ensure there are no communication failures this time even if it means I have to go to the store every hour.

Hydrae-

Best of luck on your interview with Fred Meyer tomorrow; you've got this! I don't know if you have ever considered this, but state and local governments always seem to be hiring, and the thing about government jobs is that they tend to have pretty decent benefits. I'm at that age (close to your age) where I really consider health care costs and benefits packages. Sorry you are going through this now, and I don't wish that type of stress on anybody.

Fat E

[BigRedChief]

Originally Posted by ChiTown

My 26 year old Son is getting up to 6% matched and he puts in another 6% beyond that.

He keeps that up he can retire in his 50’s.

[PunkinDrublic]

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

He keeps that up he can retire in his 50’s.

The 401k matching thing sounds great but if you’re not fully vested and you move on to another company a lot of companies will take that matched money right back when you roll it in to your next company’s 401k.

[BigRedChief]

Originally Posted by PunkinDrublic

The 401k matching thing sounds great but if you’re not fully vested and you move on to another company a lot of companies will take that matched money right back when you roll it in to your next company’s 401k.

I've never had that happen. I just rolled it over to the new companies 401K. Easy peasy.

[ChiliConCarnage]

Sorry to hear it, Hydrae. Hope your luck turns. I'm sure you are running into ageism. Probably both ageism and some people worried you'll retire after 6 or 9 months.

[IA_Chiefs_fan]

Originally Posted by Hydrae

It's a third of an acre, so there is certainly room. A couple of problems though: no resources to get a trailer and I don't know that the city would give me a permit which I know would be required. Just because it is my property doesn't mean that the powers that be will let me do what I want on it. At least I don't have an HOA to deal with. That was a requirement for me when I bought the place.

Let's say the city gave you a permit. What would a trailer cost? I'll help.

[jerryaldini]

Hey Hydrae, this was a heartbreaking read, thanks for the courage to share it. Always knew you're a good man due to your awesome avatar. Also appreciate the title you used. Even for those who are homeless who got there by abusing substances, we don't know the backstory or their minds. Compassion is the way.

I always thought a Fred Meyer type gig would be a good job for retired folks just to get out and stay engaged. I really believe if you target this level of work you can overcome the ageism, and in the meantime could continue to pursue professional work.

You live in an awesome place and it appears have people in your life that will make sure you have a roof over your head. Wishing you all the best and looking forward to a later post after things are looking up for you again. Hang in there brother.

[notorious]

You are going to do fine, a company will know what your value really is and appreciate what you do for them.

This will be a long lost memory before you know it. Keep plugging away my man.

[Iowanian]

Sorry to hear you’re struggling.

I’m not sure exactly how but this place can be powerful. My thoughts are to get someone(maybe here) to reimagine your resume. If you’re using old school thinking, it could be blocking opportunities. Limit your employment experience to the most recent jobs as an example so they don’t know your age.


I’m sure you know where to look, like indeed for the remote positions. You could also think outside the box open the types of opportunities you’re looking for. Do you have skills outside of IT?

Example. Recently I’ve been occasionally helping out a couple of divorced and widowed women. It’s easy to overlook and take for granted just knowing how to do things. Simple things like lawn mower maintenance, basic home repairs….putting shit together they buy from ikea…

Basically, let’s help you figure out a side hustle to help you get on your feet while looking for something longer term. When things aren’t going well, it’s easy to get mired in negativity and not see solutions in front of you. Maybe local school districts need an it guy….

There is a solutions my man..stay positive and keep on putting one foot in front of the other.

[Buehler445]

**** man. Sorry for your troubles.

Most everything I came here to say has been said.

Hopefully your interview goes well tomorrow. I'm not a particularly good interviewee. I think the problem was when I really wanted a job I was Johnny Tryhard and probably came across as desperate. I'd over-prepare and it came along as fake, I think. I did better on interviews that I didn't necessarily think it was a job I wanted and just had a conversation. No clue if that applies to you, but if Buehler445 was in your shoes, that's probably how it would go.

If it doesn't work out, the first thing I'd do is get the first job I could get. If it's flipping burgers so be it. It isn't fixing your problems, but every dollar counts.

Next thing I'd do is beat every bush you've got. Every dude you've ever worked with, I'd be firing on them to see if they have any leads. Any buddies, anybody. No shame in asking.

You're probably suffering ageism, but in my industry it's going the other way. My employee is 15 years older than me with no experience and I love the guy. He comes every day and does the job without complaining. Sign me up for more of those dudes. I'm guessing other industries are fine hiring graybeards too.

Sounds like you are doing the SSA route, so good to go.

If you need anything reach out. I've reviewed several people's resumes over the years. Sometimes another set of eyes matters.

Go get it bud.

[Hydrae]

Man, this place is so awesome! Thank you to everyone (even Otter, what the hell) for the kind words, advice, and simply support.

Today has been so much better of day than I have in a bit. First, this place. Also, the job that I thought I was out on is back on the table. I will know more on Monday. The Fred Meyer interview has been pushed to next Tuesday but that is okay. I will likely look to take both jobs with one of them being part time. That will get me back on my feet faster and I can get an idea of the environment and decide which is the longer term solution.

I will update this thread as my situation evolves but at least I think I see a light and I don't think it is a train. I am regaining faith that this will work out which is key to making that happen. To quote the old song, sometimes you have to go through hell to get to heaven.

[Mosbonian]

Originally Posted by Hydrae

Man, this place is so awesome! Thank you to everyone (even Otter, what the hell) for the kind words, advice, and simply support.

Today has been so much better of day than I have in a bit. First, this place. Also, the job that I thought I was out on is back on the table. I will know more on Monday. The Fred Meyer interview has been pushed to next Tuesday but that is okay. I will likely look to take both jobs with one of them being part time. That will get me back on my feet faster and I can get an idea of the environment and decide which is the longer term solution.

I will update this thread as my situation evolves but at least I think I see a light and I don't think it is a train. I am regaining faith that this will work out which is key to making that happen. To quote the old song, sometimes you have to go through hell to get to heaven.

Glad to hear that things are looking a little more positive for you. We all will continue to root for you to dig out of this.

A thread like this is the perfect example of a real community....we may give each other crap but when real life hits hard, we all provide support in the best way we can.

[scho63]

I'm rereading this thread for about the 5th time and two things are not clear to me:

1. How are you in such dire straits at this point in your life after only being laid off for a short period after 9 1/2 years?

You got two months severance that carried things until Jan 1 2024 and you have been off for 7-8 months. You or your wife had NO income for 8 months? No unemployment? No jobs of any kind? No savings?

Now you could be homeless?

2. Sounds like you have been very irresponsible with your money or there is something missing from this story.

It sucks to be backed into a corner and hopefully you can overcome this but there appears to be something you're not adding as to the overall cause.

Wishing you get a job that can put you back on better footing.

[GloryDayz]

Originally Posted by Hydrae

Thank you to everyone who has responded. I appreciate the thoughts and advice. I am not surprised at the temporary turn the thread took. This is CP after all!

In answer to some of the questions:

1. The 401k is dead at this point. That resource has sadly been used up.

2. I have always thought I would work until I was 70 to maximize my Social Security benefits. I did give in to reality a couple days ago and applied. If nothing else, the benefit is weighted to the last 5 years of employment and it appears likely that I will be earning significantly less the next few years. So yes, I am legally retired I suppose.

3. Why Oregon and now? I have worked remote tech support for several years and if I were to get a similar position my location would not really matter. If I need to have an onsite job, I would prefer it to be in our dream location where we were planning to be anyway. We are both from here and this is a returning home finally. Yes, I jumped off a cliff and the fall has been scary. Now it looks like the ground is coming fast and it scares the piss out of me.

On a more positive note, it looks like I will have an interview at Fred Meyer (think regional Walmart) this afternoon. I will ensure there are no communication failures this time even if it means I have to go to the store every hour.

Praying for you and that the interview lands you a job..

[Rainbarrel]

I think, after 62, you can draw Social Security temporarily. Until back on your feet