Ask Iowanian. Pt II, the Keyboard of Doom

Chief Henry · 01-13-2005, 04:06 PM

Dear Iowanian,

Kim Cattrall really does it for me. Ever since
that howling locker room scene in Porkys, its been like a fantasy of mine to get my wife in any locker room. Got any ideas/stories from your old wrestling days to help me out.

Barkin 'n' howlin

**Iowanian** · 01-13-2005, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chief Henry

Dear Iowanian,

Kim Cattrall really does it for me. Ever since
that howling locker room scene in Porkys, its been like a fantasy of mine to get my wife in any locker room. Got any ideas/stories from your old wrestling days to help me out.

Barkin 'n' howlin

Henry,
Unfortunately, I never had an oportunity to have a go at Mrs Henry in a locker room while in HS. Surrounded by neked guys puts anything of a reproductive nature pretty far on the back burner of the Iowani-mind.

I do probably have an old jock, some stale socks and a singlet, and could leave some wet towels and gym clothes in a basket for a month, if you'd like to borrow them to put in your rubber room to set the aura

Chief Henry · 01-13-2005, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

Henry,
Unfortunately, I never had an oportunity to have a go at Mrs Henry in a locker room while in HS. Surrounded by neked guys puts anything of a reproductive nature pretty far on the back burner of the Iowani-mind.

I do probably have an old jock, some stale socks and a singlet, and could leave some wet towels and gym clothes in a basket for a month, if you'd like to borrow them to put in your rubber room to set the aura

I need a little more of a visual, what color is the singlet ???

stumppy · 01-13-2005, 04:52 PM

Dear Iowanian,

I have a somewhat sensitive problem. It's my name. People are always saying things like " stumppy ??? did your wife name you that ?

How can I let everyone know it's just a nickname, just like Tiny is a nickname for a 6' 6'' , 350 lb. man ?
Should I have my enormous unit measured, weighed, and officially certified as OMG huge ? Then show my Unit Certificate to anyone who makes a demeaning remark about my manhood ? Which brings up another question. Where do I carry the certificate ? Folded up in my wallet ? Or should I have it framed with a chain attached so I can hang it on my unit ?
Or, should I just take a picture of it and use that as my avitar ?

Awaiting your reply with digital camera in hand,

stumppy

stumppy · 01-13-2005, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

I'd like to take this opportunity to vote AGAINST this option.

Thank you.

I'd like to show you all something I'm very proud of. You people in the front row are gonna have to move back.

stevieray · 01-13-2005, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stumppy

I'd like to show you all something I'm very proud of. You people in the front row are gonna have to move back.

Robin Williams.

stumppy · 01-13-2005, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevieray

Robin Williams.

One of my favorites.
rbrbrr

RedNFeisty · 01-13-2005, 05:01 PM

Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally Posted by stumppy
Or, should I just take a picture of it and use that as my avitar ?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

I'd like to take this opportunity to vote AGAINST this option.

Thank you.

Since guys are always sporting boobies, why not have stumppy, plant his there.

**Iowanian** · 01-13-2005, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stumppy

Dear Iowanian,

I have a somewhat sensitive problem. It's my name. People are always saying things like " stumppy ??? did your wife name you that ?

How can I let everyone know it's just a nickname, just like Tiny is a nickname for a 6' 6'' , 350 lb. man ?
Should I have my enormous unit measured, weighed, and officially certified as OMG huge ? Then show my Unit Certificate to anyone who makes a demeaning remark about my manhood ? Which brings up another question. Where do I carry the certificate ? Folded up in my wallet ? Or should I have it framed with a chain attached so I can hang it on my unit ?
Or, should I just take a picture of it and use that as my avitar ?

Awaiting your reply with digital camera in hand,

stumppy

First and formost, so as not to Kill the Iowani-column potential...do NOT post a pic. Posters will just continue to have the mental image of a naked Mini-me(not *me*...the dwarf on vh1).

Tell them the Stump refers to the Girth not the length. Iowanian wasn't called "foldiers" in College because he smelled like coffee grounds, but rather resembled the container.

01-13-2005, 04:06 PM	#1
Chief Henry MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: IOWA Casino cash: $10005088	Dear Iowanian, Kim Cattrall really does it for me. Ever since that howling locker room scene in Porkys, its been like a fantasy of mine to get my wife in any locker room. Got any ideas/stories from your old wrestling days to help me out. Barkin 'n' howlin __________________ Patrick Mahomes...The only QB to ever play in the NFL with at least 5,000 passing yards in a single season and 5,000 passing yards in a single college season.
Posts: 8,361

01-13-2005, 04:52 PM	#4
stumppy New and Improved Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Springfield, Mo. Casino cash: $-2491410	Dear Iowanian, I have a somewhat sensitive problem. It's my name. People are always saying things like " stumppy ??? did your wife name you that ? How can I let everyone know it's just a nickname, just like Tiny is a nickname for a 6' 6'' , 350 lb. man ? Should I have my enormous unit measured, weighed, and officially certified as OMG huge ? Then show my Unit Certificate to anyone who makes a demeaning remark about my manhood ? Which brings up another question. Where do I carry the certificate ? Folded up in my wallet ? Or should I have it framed with a chain attached so I can hang it on my unit ? Or, should I just take a picture of it and use that as my avitar ? Awaiting your reply with digital camera in hand, stumppy __________________ “As a nation, we can endure damaging policies for a four-year term. But we cannot survive a president willing to terminate our Constitution”
Posts: 22,375