Let's ask Rainman

[blueballs]

This is your chance to ask Rainman a question*

*the probability of Rainman giving an answer
depends on the question
the person asking said question
Rainman's availability and desire to answer the question

I will start:

Rainman who was the Chiefs' best draft pick?

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Jenson71

Dear Rain Man,

Will you be watching the premier of the Travel Channel's "1001 Places to See Before You Die" on Thursday? What do you predict their number one place to see before you die will be?

Your fan,

Jenson71

Probably ... best ... show ... ever. I have the book already, but I don't know what #1 will be. If I had to guess, I would go with the inside of the Great Pyramid, because if that's the last place you see before you die, it would be pretty cool to pass away in the royal tomb.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by CJizzles

Rainman, do chickens have large talons?!

Those worms and grubs don't just jump into their mouths now, do they? To many insect species, chickens are a combination of grizzly bear, great white shark, and salt-water crocodile. Worms make horror movies about chickens. Grubs view chickens like Europeans view the plague. Chickens are killing machines.

[crazycoffey]

Rainman,

What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by crazycoffey

Rainman,

What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Clarification needed. African or European?

[crazycoffey]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Clarification needed. African or European?

lets do a comparision of both the African and the European bird while each is without and with a coconut in it's clutches.....

[Eleazar]

What was the worst "Best Picture" of all time?

[Zebedee DuBois]

Herr RegenMann,

Should we despise the puritanical prudes that decreed that a woman's breast should not be exposed in public, depriving mankind of the opportunity to view all shapes and manner of jiggling tissue?

or..

Should we thank them for creating the present situation where we obsess about women's breasts, always trying to catch a peek of even the hint of cleavage.

[TinyEvel]

Rainman, I was a participant in a focus group the other night, and a person came into the room and quietly told one surly, opinionated woman in the group that she had a phone call, reminding her to bring her coat and purse with her.

She never returned.

What happened?

[ShortRoundChief]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Questions referring to Apollo 9, dairy subsidies, subatomic particles, transmission gear ratio, any materials that are excreted from beneath the waist, animal abuse, Anna Nicole Smith, Nerf products, diseases of the eye, children's underwear (including "pullups" and diapers), the Datsun B210, licorice, or tax accounting will not be considered.

So what would you do if you were watching an apollo 9 documentary concerning the effects of subatomic particles, when anna nicole smith drove by your house chewing licorice on her way to her tax accountant (who has an eye disease) in her datsun b210 beating a dog cause she was upset about the current level of dairy subsidies while pondering the meaning of a transmission gear ratio while some children were in the front yard playing with a nerf football with crappy diapers?

[PastorMikH]

I think it would be interesting to ask Rainman questions and require that he answer them with posts that are already on the Planet.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by crazycoffey

lets do a comparision of both the African and the European bird while each is without and with a coconut in it's clutches.....

African or European coconut?

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Cochise

What was the worst "Best Picture" of all time?

Rain Man, 1988. They got me all wrong.

Well, mostly wrong.

Okay. I'm not a very good driver.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Zebedee DuBois

Herr RegenMann,

Should we despise the puritanical prudes that decreed that a woman's breast should not be exposed in public, depriving mankind of the opportunity to view all shapes and manner of jiggling tissue?

or..

Should we thank them for creating the present situation where we obsess about women's breasts, always trying to catch a peek of even the hint of cleavage.

This, THIS, is a great philosophical question. Are we better with societal mores that create taboo desires that are all the sweeter for being taboo, or are we better off enjoying the desires for their own merits in a world where they are not taboo?

Does the luscious vision of a gently bouncing mammary gland have more appeal because we aren't allowed to see them at will? Yes, certainly. Raging hormonal storms aside, ask any 14 year-old the price he would pay to see those silken globes, and it would certainly be higher than the price offered by a jaded 35 year-old with herpes of eight origins. Similarly, lesbian snuff films demand a higher price than does your basic heterosexual liaison film, and a rock of crack demands a higher price than does a rock of Pop Rocks. So we can't deny that "taboo" has an economic value.

But so does access. A lesbian snuff film or a rock of crack available at the mom and pop corner market down the street would fetch a higher price than a lesbian snuff film or rock of crack that is available at a mamasan and papasan corner store in Yokohama (setting aside differences in Asian vs. American lesbian snuff films, since we all know that Asian porn is really, really hot other than those weird little squeals they make). So one can make an argument that society generates a public value from the benefit of easy everyday access to an item as opposed to a false shortage created by tabooification.

Since both sides have benefits, they must be carefully measured against each other to make an educated answer to this question. A theoretical experiment would set two towns against each other. Town A will measure the total sales of pornography in an environment where the female breast is not shown in public. This will be the determined benefit. Town B, ten miles away, will measure the impact of requiring women to be topless at all times, and by the maximum "areola tax" that men would be willing to pay to live in the town. (At the moment, we will ignore the economic benefit of the spending patterns in the local community of the hundreds of thousands of men who will immediately move to that community.)

If we assume that the average adult male spends, ohhhh, $50 a month on pornography on average (recall that this figure includes blind men, wild ape men, the Amish, henpecked men, and men with vivid imaginations who write and draw their own pornography because the producers of pornography can never get that whole "San Diego cheerleaders captured by female pirates, covered with baby oil, and forced to wrestle each other on deck while holding sex toys" scene properly), then we ask the question, "Would men pay a $50 per month areola tax to live in Town B?

I think we all know the answer to that. Town B would eventually dwarf Manhattan, and tumbleweeds would overrun Town A.

Show us the breasts.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by TinyEvel

Rainman, I was a participant in a focus group the other night, and a person came into the room and quietly told one surly, opinionated woman in the group that she had a phone call, reminding her to bring her coat and purse with her.

She never returned.

What happened?

Someone made the decision to abandon the surly opinionated market, which is a huge mistake if the ad being tested is for handguns.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by J Diddy

So what would you do if you were watching an apollo 9 documentary concerning the effects of subatomic particles, when anna nicole smith drove by your house chewing licorice on her way to her tax accountant (who has an eye disease) in her datsun b210 beating a dog cause she was upset about the current level of dairy subsidies while pondering the meaning of a transmission gear ratio while some children were in the front yard playing with a nerf football with crappy diapers?

I refuse to answer that question.