The Embarrassingly Unofficial "The Onion: Sports" Thread

[pikesome]

Originally Posted by Direckshun

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...old_not_to_get

March 27, 2008
Royals Told Not To Get Uniforms Dirty

KANSAS CITY—Before taking the field last Wednesday for their game against the Minnesota Twins, Kansas City Royals manager Trey Hillman reportedly instructed his players not to get dirt, dust, grass, tobacco juice, or sweat on their uniforms, as the team can no longer afford to do laundry after each game. "Apparently it's too expensive to get the stains out of these all-white one-size-fits-all jobs, especially since we're only getting one each this year," said third baseman Alex Gordon while reciting other new team rules, which include sharing the team's three batting helmets, conserving eye black, and bringing their own bags of rosin from home. "Not that getting our uniforms dirty has really been a problem." The Royals are looking forward to their upcoming road trip where they can wear their freshly cleaned away uniforms, even though the team has to take turns driving to Seattle.

I'm glad someone else shares my contempt for the Royals.