Life The Hard Way - Page 5

**Skip Towne** · 01-05-2009, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MIAdragon

No idea who Tucker Max is, however no matter how many times you've done it before or how much she loves it it the catcher is not ready to receive the pitch bad things happen. Dont really want to get into it but please take my word for it.

I also learned that not everything you see in porn is acceptable outside of porn. Ya know when you see the guy spit on the chick to increase lubrication, yea chicks don’t like that.
So there I am with this half balack half Polish skirt, Mieska, this girl was an absolute freak down for anything right, nope, as soon as the spit left my lips I knew it was going to end bad. Sure enough she looks at me with utter disbelief in her eyes and screamed "did you just ****ing spit on me!?" "are you out of your mind!?" and that ended that play session, no worries though she was over the next night in a nurses outfit.

You got that out of Penthouse letters didn't you?

MIAdragon · 01-05-2009, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skip Towne

You got that out of Penthouse letters didn't you?

Unfortunately not, that’s all me. Not one of my finer moments. I can honestly say I’ve never cracked open that mag.

kcchiefsus · 11-30-2009, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MIAdragon

No idea who Tucker Max is, however no matter how many times you've done it before or how much she loves it it the catcher is not ready to receive the pitch bad things happen. Dont really want to get into it but please take my word for it.

I also learned that not everything you see in porn is acceptable outside of porn. Ya know when you see the guy spit on the chick to increase lubrication, yea chicks don’t like that.
So there I am with this half balack half Polish skirt, Mieska, this girl was an absolute freak down for anything right, nope, as soon as the spit left my lips I knew it was going to end bad. Sure enough she looks at me with utter disbelief in her eyes and screamed "did you just ****ing spit on me!?" "are you out of your mind!?" and that ended that play session, no worries though she was over the next night in a nurses outfit.

www.tuckermax.com

**Iowanian** · 01-05-2009, 01:01 PM

I learned the lesson Mr Plow is getting at long ago, but still don't have it mastered.

When women are bitching about work/friends/stuff....they DO NOT want solutions offered. They just want you to listen, and not try to stick your thumb in their butt while they're distracted. Just listen....zone out......try to nod with interest.....don't respond.

MIAdragon · 01-05-2009, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I learned the lesson Mr Plow is getting at long ago, but still don't have it mastered.

When women are bitching about work/friends/stuff....they DO NOT want solutions offered. They just want you to listen, and not try to stick your thumb in their butt while they're distracted. Just listen....zone out......try to nod with interest.....don't respond.

Im not so sure on this one, if I don’t throw in a "that’s bullshit!!" or "some people!?" every now and then she thinks I’m not listening and then I become the focus of her angst.

RaiderH8r · 01-05-2009, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I learned the lesson Mr Plow is getting at long ago, but still don't have it mastered.

When women are bitching about work/friends/stuff....they DO NOT want solutions offered. They just want you to listen, and not try to stick your thumb in their butt while they're distracted. Just listen....zone out......try to nod with interest.....don't respond.

I've tried to instill my wife with the knowledge that she gets 10 minutes per day of my absolutely positively undivided attention and to use it wisely. But does she? No. And yes, 10 minutes of my undivided attention is about 9 minutes more than I give anybody else in the world...unless its a talk about football, porn, music, video games or beer (AKA "My Hobbies").

Pablo · 01-05-2009, 01:05 PM

My younger brother and I are a year and half apart. As teenagers, we often got in fistfights, terrible fights that sometimes ended with dental work and doctors visits.

When I was probably about 14 years old, we got in a bad fight outside of my grandma's house. Somewhere along the way, to end the beat down, he grabbed a bottle of flea and tick spray off of the porch and sprayed me in the eyes. Instead of worrying about the intense pain in my eyes and being effectively blinded, I was intent on knocking his head off. So, I chased him around, blinded, wildly swinging, hoping to kill him instead of getting inside and flushing out my eyes.

He proceeded to run inside and lock me out of the house. It was the middle of summer too, so it didn't help that it was like 100 degrees out and my eyes were melting inside of my head. So I stood at the door, begging for him to let me inside so I could flush out my eyes. Which he agreed to, under the pretense that I wouldn't swing at him anymore.

So I get inside, and being the incredibly smart guy I am when I'm mad, I don't even worry about my throbbing eyes anymore; and as soon as he opens the door, I come after him again. And he still has the flea and tick spray in his hand....and he hits me with it again.

Then I give up and lay on the floor in the kitchen dying, and beg him to help me flush my eyes out in the sink. That was a really hard lesson.

When someone agrees to let you inside to flush out your eyes because they have flea and tick spray in them, and all they ask is that you don't swing at them anymore...don't swing at them.

**Iowanian** · 01-05-2009, 01:07 PM

You're right, and what I meant with fein interest. "you don't say" "I'll be damned" "that bitch"......are much different than "what you should do is stop listening to her bitch about her job, tell her to shutup and get a new one if its so bad"

MIAdragon · 01-05-2009, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

You're right, and what I meant with fein interest. "you don't say" "I'll be damned" "that bitch"......are much different than "what you should do is stop listening to her bitch about her job, tell her to shutup and get a new one if its so bad"

Exactly!!

Mr. Plow · 01-05-2009, 01:51 PM

No matter how "ok" your wife is with you chatting with an attractive women, the moment you and said attractive woman step outside for a smoke, you are having an affair with her.

**2112** · 01-05-2009, 01:59 PM

Sounds like brideowanian has never gotten dutch ovened if she asked you to make those eggs. it would have been a good life lesson for her if your innards work like mine under pressure with hard boiled or pickled eggs.

**Iowanian** · 01-05-2009, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D2112

Sounds like brideowanian has never gotten dutch ovened if she asked you to make those eggs. it would have been a good life lesson for her if your innards work like mine under pressure with hard boiled or pickled eggs.

She was very much against the idea of my selection for that meal.

If you read my social commentary thread....you'd know that I'm a pickled egg stuntman.
search and learn.

plow.
maybe I've stood too close or something. I'm on some new stuff thats making me feel a little off this week, but didn't know it made me mentally challenged.

beach tribe · 01-05-2009, 02:23 PM

I learned if you're gonna get stoned, and eat like an animal, that if you choose mixed nuts as your food victim, make sure you chew that shit well..........the hard way.

**Iowanian** · 01-05-2009, 03:47 PM

Apparently, my microwave IQ is below 75.

So....given the recent disaster with the dumpty family in mind.....

I've been out to meetings, no lunch yada yada yada....zip in the house, fling a bag of orville Redenbacher in the M-wave and hit 3 minutes...go check email.

Somethign isn't right when I get back down.....

I'd thrown the bag on top of that plastic bowl thingamajig that goes over plates to keep it from splattering.

The entire center of that is melted and gone....stuck to the bag.

Lesson.
Don't put a bag of popcorn on top of the plastic dish.

I must have my head seriously in my ass this week....

01-05-2009, 01:01 PM	#4
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1668454	I learned the lesson Mr Plow is getting at long ago, but still don't have it mastered. When women are bitching about work/friends/stuff....they DO NOT want solutions offered. They just want you to listen, and not try to stick your thumb in their butt while they're distracted. Just listen....zone out......try to nod with interest.....don't respond.
Posts: 62,945

01-05-2009, 01:05 PM	#7
Pablo Ultrabanned Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Northland Casino cash: $-1890644	My younger brother and I are a year and half apart. As teenagers, we often got in fistfights, terrible fights that sometimes ended with dental work and doctors visits. When I was probably about 14 years old, we got in a bad fight outside of my grandma's house. Somewhere along the way, to end the beat down, he grabbed a bottle of flea and tick spray off of the porch and sprayed me in the eyes. Instead of worrying about the intense pain in my eyes and being effectively blinded, I was intent on knocking his head off. So, I chased him around, blinded, wildly swinging, hoping to kill him instead of getting inside and flushing out my eyes. He proceeded to run inside and lock me out of the house. It was the middle of summer too, so it didn't help that it was like 100 degrees out and my eyes were melting inside of my head. So I stood at the door, begging for him to let me inside so I could flush out my eyes. Which he agreed to, under the pretense that I wouldn't swing at him anymore. So I get inside, and being the incredibly smart guy I am when I'm mad, I don't even worry about my throbbing eyes anymore; and as soon as he opens the door, I come after him again. And he still has the flea and tick spray in his hand....and he hits me with it again. Then I give up and lay on the floor in the kitchen dying, and beg him to help me flush my eyes out in the sink. That was a really hard lesson. When someone agrees to let you inside to flush out your eyes because they have flea and tick spray in them, and all they ask is that you don't swing at them anymore...don't swing at them.
Posts: 43,929

01-05-2009, 01:07 PM	#8
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1668454	You're right, and what I meant with fein interest. "you don't say" "I'll be damned" "that bitch"......are much different than "what you should do is stop listening to her bitch about her job, tell her to shutup and get a new one if its so bad"
Posts: 62,945

01-05-2009, 01:51 PM	#11
Mr. Plow In Search of a Life Join Date: Dec 2005 Casino cash: $-1512609	No matter how "ok" your wife is with you chatting with an attractive women, the moment you and said attractive woman step outside for a smoke, you are having an affair with her.
Posts: 31,695

01-05-2009, 01:59 PM	#12
2112 Reset Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Parts Unknown Casino cash: $6866765	Sounds like brideowanian has never gotten dutch ovened if she asked you to make those eggs. it would have been a good life lesson for her if your innards work like mine under pressure with hard boiled or pickled eggs.
Posts: 22,280

01-05-2009, 02:23 PM	#14
beach tribe Keep doubting J MFing Houston Join Date: May 2007 Location: ft.lauderdale Casino cash: $3898036	I learned if you're gonna get stoned, and eat like an animal, that if you choose mixed nuts as your food victim, make sure you chew that shit well..........the hard way.
Posts: 21,429

01-05-2009, 03:47 PM	#15
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1668454	Apparently, my microwave IQ is below 75. So....given the recent disaster with the dumpty family in mind..... I've been out to meetings, no lunch yada yada yada....zip in the house, fling a bag of orville Redenbacher in the M-wave and hit 3 minutes...go check email. Somethign isn't right when I get back down..... I'd thrown the bag on top of that plastic bowl thingamajig that goes over plates to keep it from splattering. The entire center of that is melted and gone....stuck to the bag. Lesson. Don't put a bag of popcorn on top of the plastic dish. I must have my head seriously in my ass this week.... Attached Thumbnails Last edited by Iowanian; 01-05-2009 at 03:58 PM..
Posts: 62,945