Life Children's books and Crime - Page 2

**Iowanian** · 02-10-2009, 10:07 AM

I've spent a good number of hours reading to my kids over the past 3 years. Many of the books I'm reading, often nightly are the same stories I heard when I was young. My favorite as a little boy was "the jolly barnyard", the story of animals planning a party for farmer brown's birthday.

Anyway, I've had an epiphany while reading recently. Most of these books and stories...read any of the little golden books, contain crime.

Ex.
The 3 Bears.
Goldilocks is walking in the woods, sees a house, knocks on the door. No one answers, so she decides to go in. Breaking and Entering. She sits in the chairs, breaks the wee little chair to bits...destruction of property. She eats baby bear's food.....burglary. I'm sure in today's environment, being found sleeping in a child's bed as she was in baby bear's bed would lead to a sex offender list.

Don't even get me started on the 3 little pigs. Its got strong arm robbery, destruction of property, breaking and entering, premeditated murder....but also brings up a social issue of using deadly force to defend your home.

So. Your challenge is to give the cliff notes of a children's book or fable, and list as many crimes committed in that story as you can.

rambleonthruthefog · 02-10-2009, 11:41 AM

My daughter reads Lemony Snickets: An Unfortunate Series of Events. The things that continue to happen to these children, i'm surprised shes not a little more scared of things.

blueballs · 02-10-2009, 11:43 AM

cow them with fear

**bogey** · 02-10-2009, 11:48 AM

Goodnight Moon had to be a drug induced auther.

**Dartgod** · 02-10-2009, 11:49 AM

The Tale of Peter Rabbit

Murder (or perhaps involuntary manslaughter), trespassing, robbery, attempted murder

**Iowanian** · 02-10-2009, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bogey

Goodnight Moon had to be a drug induced auther.

Goodnight nobody..good night mush.

Its one I have memorized.

After 3 readings, my 3 year old knows them by word and will call me on it if I skip, change or mis-speak a word on piles of these books. The good thing, she can "read" them to her sister evne though she can't really read yet.

chiefsfanintx · 02-10-2009, 12:10 PM

I loved the book Little Witch when I was a child. Thinking about it now there was child abuse, child neglect and I don't know what crime it would be for turning people into flower pots but surely this is unacceptable.

KCFalcon59 · 02-10-2009, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bogey

Goodnight Moon had to be a drug induced auther.

Yeah. I loved reading that book to my kids. Probably my favorite. They made me read it over and over to them.

talastan · 02-10-2009, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

Maybe you could give examples of some items that have been changed from the originals to today.

Examples men...examples!

Check this out: http://www.nationalgeographic.com/grimm/index2.html

Mama Hip Rockets · 02-10-2009, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seclark

green eggs and ham:
stalking
harassment

sam i am could use a swift kick to the nutsack.
sec

**Iowanian** · 02-10-2009, 09:56 PM

Tonight's schedule included Jack and the beanstalk.

What a horde of debauchery that book turns out to be. Jack lies to his mother, takes advantage of a disenfranchised Katrina evacuee by trading him a dried up gummer cow for those magic beans. Jack then is disrespectful to his mother, breaks into the Giants castle in the sky, steals from him.(breaking and entering, burglary in the 1st degree). He returns, midnight-vulva's the Golden goose...engages in manufacture of counterfit money and racketeering with his mother....goes BACK again, steals the golden magic harp, which I can only assume he also sexually assaults at some point.....and then ends up killing the giant with an axe, that I can only assume would have lead to at least manslaughter charges.

And we think TV and Video games are bad for kids? A Children's library could turn my angels into mini-Tony Sopranos.

**Skip Towne** · 02-10-2009, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lazepoo

Why shouldn't children's stories have a little bit of salacious content in them? I mean, seriously, how many stories can you read about the dog that loved everyone before you accept the prospect of your child being illiterate?

Conflict is the crux of storytelling. Without something happening, there is no story. I would be a lot more impressed to hear of some bestselling books with no conflict or crime in them.

The show about nothing?

Adept Havelock · 02-10-2009, 10:09 PM

Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garbage Out:

Massive health code violations.

Destruction of property.

Zoning law violations.

Creating a public nuisance.

Garbage Skyscraper without aircraft warning lights.

Countless violations of EPA statutes.

Child Negligence
(SCSS should have been made to take the garbage out. Failing that, the parents should have removed the garbage in the interest of family health, while severely punishing SCSS.)

**Iowanian** · 02-10-2009, 10:11 PM

Code Violations? Child Neglect?!!!

Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout obviously is fortunate that she doesn't live in the squallor of the Old lady who Lived in a Shoe.

Adept Havelock · 02-10-2009, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

Code Violations? Child Neglect?!!!

Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout obviously is fortunate that she doesn't live in the squallor of the Old lady who Lived in a Shoe.

I think she'd give the Old Lady a run for her money. SCSS's massive garbage pile forced all the neighbors to move away. Remember the "bad apartments" thread in the pic forum a while back? That, on crack. At one point, it stretched across the US.

Then there's those dastardly Rats of NIMH. Breaking and entry of a federal facility, for openers.

RJ · 02-10-2009, 10:29 PM

The Cat in the Hat.

Freaking six foot tall predator in a cat suit shows up when mom is out - where the hell is dad? - and tries to talk the kids into doing naughty things. The only guidance the children have is a goldfish and their own barely formed sense of right and wrong.

When the situation gets out of control the Cat in the hat goes Pulp Fiction and brings in the cleaners. Harvey Keitel's got nothing on Thing 1 and Thing 2. They put the house back in order and destroy the evidence, just before Mom walks in the door. The Cat coolly disappears ( think Keyser Soze) and the kids never let on that anything happened.

Tell me, which part of this story is a good lesson for our children?

02-10-2009, 10:07 AM
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1648454	Children's books and Crime I've spent a good number of hours reading to my kids over the past 3 years. Many of the books I'm reading, often nightly are the same stories I heard when I was young. My favorite as a little boy was "the jolly barnyard", the story of animals planning a party for farmer brown's birthday. Anyway, I've had an epiphany while reading recently. Most of these books and stories...read any of the little golden books, contain crime. Ex. The 3 Bears. Goldilocks is walking in the woods, sees a house, knocks on the door. No one answers, so she decides to go in. Breaking and Entering. She sits in the chairs, breaks the wee little chair to bits...destruction of property. She eats baby bear's food.....burglary. I'm sure in today's environment, being found sleeping in a child's bed as she was in baby bear's bed would lead to a sex offender list. Don't even get me started on the 3 little pigs. Its got strong arm robbery, destruction of property, breaking and entering, premeditated murder....but also brings up a social issue of using deadly force to defend your home. So. Your challenge is to give the cliff notes of a children's book or fable, and list as many crimes committed in that story as you can.
Posts: 62,945

02-10-2009, 11:41 AM	#16
rambleonthruthefog Veteran Join Date: May 2008 Location: Austin, Texas Casino cash: $2915026	My daughter reads Lemony Snickets: An Unfortunate Series of Events. The things that continue to happen to these children, i'm surprised shes not a little more scared of things.
Posts: 1,403

02-10-2009, 11:43 AM	#17
blueballs Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Casino cash: $10004900	cow them with fear
Posts: 14,233

02-10-2009, 11:48 AM	#18
bogey Supporter Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: California Casino cash: $10005290	Goodnight Moon had to be a drug induced auther.
Posts: 2,264

02-10-2009, 11:49 AM	#19
Dartgod Wasted away again... Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: in Margaritaville Casino cash: $3530000	The Tale of Peter Rabbit Murder (or perhaps involuntary manslaughter), trespassing, robbery, attempted murder __________________ If you shed a tear for me, please make it a tear of joy. -Joe Tracy (Nzoner) . .
Posts: 52,237

02-10-2009, 12:10 PM	#21
chiefsfanintx Starter Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: texas Casino cash: $10004900	I loved the book Little Witch when I was a child. Thinking about it now there was child abuse, child neglect and I don't know what crime it would be for turning people into flower pots but surely this is unacceptable.
Posts: 60

02-10-2009, 09:56 PM	#25
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1648454	Tonight's schedule included Jack and the beanstalk. What a horde of debauchery that book turns out to be. Jack lies to his mother, takes advantage of a disenfranchised Katrina evacuee by trading him a dried up gummer cow for those magic beans. Jack then is disrespectful to his mother, breaks into the Giants castle in the sky, steals from him.(breaking and entering, burglary in the 1st degree). He returns, midnight-vulva's the Golden goose...engages in manufacture of counterfit money and racketeering with his mother....goes BACK again, steals the golden magic harp, which I can only assume he also sexually assaults at some point.....and then ends up killing the giant with an axe, that I can only assume would have lead to at least manslaughter charges. And we think TV and Video games are bad for kids? A Children's library could turn my angels into mini-Tony Sopranos.
Posts: 62,945

02-10-2009, 10:09 PM	#27
Adept Havelock Obligatory Thoughtcriminal Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Flux,awaiting an observer Casino cash: $10004900	Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garbage Out: Massive health code violations. Destruction of property. Zoning law violations. Creating a public nuisance. Garbage Skyscraper without aircraft warning lights. Countless violations of EPA statutes. Child Negligence (SCSS should have been made to take the garbage out. Failing that, the parents should have removed the garbage in the interest of family health, while severely punishing SCSS.) __________________ No matter how cynical you are, it is impossible to keep up. -Lily Tomlin I'd rather be a climbing monkey than a falling angel. -Terry Pratchett
Posts: 14,305

02-10-2009, 10:11 PM	#28
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1648454	Code Violations? Child Neglect?!!! Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout obviously is fortunate that she doesn't live in the squallor of the Old lady who Lived in a Shoe.
Posts: 62,945

02-10-2009, 10:29 PM	#30
RJ Supporter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: In a shotgun shack Casino cash: $9895202	The Cat in the Hat. Freaking six foot tall predator in a cat suit shows up when mom is out - where the hell is dad? - and tries to talk the kids into doing naughty things. The only guidance the children have is a goldfish and their own barely formed sense of right and wrong. When the situation gets out of control the Cat in the hat goes Pulp Fiction and brings in the cleaners. Harvey Keitel's got nothing on Thing 1 and Thing 2. They put the house back in order and destroy the evidence, just before Mom walks in the door. The Cat coolly disappears ( think Keyser Soze) and the kids never let on that anything happened. Tell me, which part of this story is a good lesson for our children?
Posts: 14,940