Confronting a cheater

[Jilly]

Originally Posted by DeezNutz

How could they not struggle?

They're constantly berated with shit like, "Is a size 4 fat?" and recurring images of criticized, "imperfect" celebs. It's a byproduct of the culture in which we live.

Turn on E for 5 minutes.

No excuse. Just reality. Parents have to do a lot to overcome this.

I think men have some part in this as well. Seems women need to start being valued for something other than their tits. I know I'm walking into a minefield right now and I know I am just as guilty as any guy of doing it, but even when guys talk to each other, they should have some responsibility in making sure women are valued for more.

[DeezNutz]

Originally Posted by Jilly

I think men have some part in this as well. Seems women need to start being valued for something other than their tits. I know I'm walking into a minefield right now and I know I am just as guilty as any guy of doing it, but even when guys talk to each other, they should have some responsibility in making sure women are valued for more.

I know what you're saying.

The counter-argument for this, however, is that women shouldn't give a shit about what men think or say. A woman's individual sense of self worth should absolutely not be defined by a man.

This is a learned response, though. From an early age, women are often taught that the "happily ever after" involves finding the prince. Think classic Disney ending. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing, but women need additional healthy models for what defines success.

Back to my manly roots: I value a woman's ass as much as her tits. I keed. Sort of.

Originally Posted by DeezNutz

I know what you're saying.

The counter-argument for this, however, is that women shouldn't give a shit about what men think or say. A woman's individual sense of self worth should absolutely not be defined by a man.

This is a learned response, though. From an early age, women are often taught that the "happily ever after" involves finding the prince. Think classic Disney ending.

They are? Not in the last 20-30 years, they're not. Women are wired so that their self-worth is defined by their family - their kids. That's why their maternal instinct is so unbelievable to we men.

[DeezNutz]

Originally Posted by Phobia

They are? Not in the last 20-30 years, they're not. Women are wired so that their self-worth is defined by their family - their kids. That's why their maternal instinct is so unbelievable to we men.

I'm not talking June Cleaver, here. The traditional romantic comedy is not far removed from the traditional Disney ending.

In a lot of ways, our culture still preaches that to be happy, especially for women, they need to be someone's wife, with 2.5 kids.

Originally Posted by DeezNutz

I'm not talking June Cleaver, here. The traditional romantic comedy is not far removed from the traditional Disney ending.

In a lot of ways, our culture still preaches that to be happy, especially for women, they need to be someone's wife, with 2.5 kids.

Really? I see a lot of career glamorizing, dual income families, broken homes.

People are tired of the goofy dude with the hot wife and 2.5 kids sitcoms. They're watching Desperate Housewifes and other soap operas which glamorize divorcees sleeping around trying desperately to have their basic needs met.

[stevieray]

Originally Posted by DeezNutz

In a lot of ways, our culture still preaches that to be happy, especially for women, they need to be someone's wife, with 2.5 kids.

I'd say the culture has done a great job in telling women they can have it all.

[DeezNutz]

Originally Posted by stevieray

I'd say the culture has done a great job in telling women they can have it all.

It's better now than it's ever been. But I still don't think it's where it needs to be.

[stevieray]

Originally Posted by DeezNutz

It's better now than it's ever been. But I still don't think it's where it needs to be.

it is unrealistic..the price gets paid somewhere along the line. already has.

[Katipan]

Originally Posted by stevieray

I'd say the culture has done a great job in telling women they can have it all.

True.

But if a woman fails at her job, it's no big deal. If she fails at being a mother, she's a social pariah.

It's the opposite for men.

[stevieray]

Originally Posted by Katipan

True.

But if a woman fails at her job, it's no big deal. If she fails at being a mother, she's a social pariah.

It's the opposite for men.

..is there a name for female deadbeat dads?

please don't downplay the revocation the man card of men who don't provide for their family..it screams loser.

[memyselfI]

Originally Posted by Katipan

True.

But if a woman fails at her job, it's no big deal. If she fails at being a mother, she's a social pariah.

It's the opposite for men.

I am not sure how old you are but from where I'm sitting (44) men do not get a pass for failing at fathers. MOF, they have the burden of being good at their jobs AND being good at home.

Women must be good at home and it's a plus if she's good at her job. There is not the social stigma of a woman failing to provide for her family the way there is for men.

[Jilly]

Originally Posted by DeezNutz

I know what you're saying.

The counter-argument for this, however, is that women shouldn't give a shit about what men think or say. A woman's individual sense of self worth should absolutely not be defined by a man.

This is a learned response, though. From an early age, women are often taught that the "happily ever after" involves finding the prince. Think classic Disney ending. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing, but women need additional healthy models for what defines success.

Back to my manly roots: I value a woman's ass as much as her tits. I keed. Sort of.

Hey, we have that in common!

Nah, I just heard at church on Sunday someone ask this 5 year old girl in the congregation if she had a boyfriend? she said, gross no, and this lady actually said to her, "well, you better get one soon." I found it disgusting.