Chiefs Fan Diseases

[The Franchise]

From a poster on WPI....who got it off of Arrowhead Addict.

Attention to Quarterback Deficit Disorder - This one is rather easy to define, and is classified by a chronic state of denial when it comes to quarterback being the undisputed most important position in the NFL. These victims will often state that you can’t have a quarterback until you have a dominant line, not realizing that a race car is just a worthless hunk of parts without a great driver behind the wheel.

Bob Gretz Syndrome - A cerebral state of rampant homerism that has spiraled out of control. Most of the time, the victim doesn’t even realize that the rose-colored glasses are permanently strapped to their face. While the enthusiasm is nice to see, the tangents of those struggling with BGS can get rather annoying.

Bradyomania - Typically associated with those in Chiefs Nation who are experiencing frequent hallucinations about the Chiefs finding a franchise quarterback in the seventh round, or even Tyler Thigpen turning out to be that guy. This is a harmless condition, but it can have quite an effect on one’s social status if these hallucinations become public, as the victim can become isolated.

(Aaron) Curry Fever - An obsessive-compulsive disorder that typically goes hand in hand with memory loss. Those with Curry Fever often forget that in the past 20 years only three linebackers have been selected in the top three — Kevin Hardy, LaVar Arrington and Quentin Coryatt. Somehow those stricken with Curry Fever fail to remember that all three of these players have to be considered draft busts. They refuse to realize that LBs who can’t rush the passer and are picked in the top five have not fared well. Curry Fever victims also like to compare Curry to pass rushers like Derrick Thomas (picked fourth in ‘89) and Lawrence Taylor (taken second a half-century ago), even though he’s not a pass rusher (9.5 sacks in four years of college). If when approached about this fact someone responds, “yeah, but this year is different,” seek clinical care for them immediately — they definitely have a strong case of Curry Fever.

Hermitis - A chemical imbalance in the brain that leads its victims to believe that NFL rebuilding efforts take 3-4 years, or as long as college rebuilding efforts. Hermaphobia was most recently disproved by the Atlanta Falcons, Baltimore Ravens and Miami Dolphins, all in 2008.

King Carl’s Disease - A deranged mental state where the victim becomes obsessed with bargain hunting and duct tape-repair jobs. Every move is made with the intent to stay over .500, fill the seats and muzzle Chiefs Nation and the media. Unfortunately, some Chiefs fans have become KGD victims themselves. Some phrases that are commonly associated with this mental condition: “free agency is a waste of money,” “build through the draft — not free agency” and “first-round quarterbacks are too risky.” Anxiety over any aggressive front office move — especially spending! — is a common symptom.

Martyballism - This is similar to dementia, but only with Chiefs football. Some Chiefs fans have the tendency to remember the Martyball era in a more favorable light than they should. These fans are typically the same ones who think a dominant defense and caretaker quarterback are the only path to the Super Bowl. How quickly they forget that the only year Martyball made the AFC Championship, the Chiefs were led to that game by Joe Montana.

Vermeilaphobia - This paranoid frame of mind is almost always found in those also dealing with a strong case of Martyballism. Those suffering with Vermielaphobia tend to think that great offenses cannot make or win Super Bowls, when history clearly proves that viewpoint wrong. These victims also think any team that focuses more on offense will always just completely ignore the defensive side of the ball. Possibly the most irrational affliction currently diagnosed among Chiefs fans. One theory is that victims just prefer “meat and potatoes” football, and would rather win ugly in low-scoring affairs than in shootouts. Most rational fans just want to win in the fashion best suited for their favorite team, whether it be with defense, offense or, preferably, both.

[The Buddha]

Originally Posted by FAX

Curlera: A syndrome first described in 2000 causing persistent bafflement, mystification, and perplexity in its victims. The exact cause remains unknown although more recent research indicates that the condition worsens when observing an individual being paid astronomical sums for doing absolutely nothing.

FAX

People with this condition should not come in contact with Ryan Sims, as this may cause an unsafe increase in blood pressure.

[Pioli Zombie]

Larryola. The urge to piss women off in nightclubs
Posted via Mobile Device

[FAX]

Johnson's Typhus: Manifests itself in constant spitting, crying, and a compelling urge to jam one's head up a large man's ass.

FAX

[FAX]

Gonzo's Pox: Presents as an uncontrollable desire to win a playoff game.

FAX

[Smed1065]

Originally Posted by OnTheWarpath58

I love how a guy that is universally thought of as a better prospect than Jay Cutler and Matt Ryan is just an "OK" QB.

Link? I am open minded but better than?

[Pioli Zombie]

Meccasexual

The biological attraction of a poster to be sexually attracted to any point of view expressed by Mecca
Posted via Mobile Device

[FAX]

Hermo-Verbo-Phemia. Sufferers complain of constant, nonsensical jabbering, total loss of language skills, and an unexplained attraction to microphones.

FAX

[OnTheWarpath15]

Originally Posted by Smed1065

Link? I am open minded but better than?

Scott Wright ranked them this way:

Stafford
Cutler
Ryan
Sanchez
Flacco

Kiper made the comment before the combine on ESPN.

It's actually pretty obvious if you know what you're looking for.

[FAX]

You know, I almost started a poll the other day (I came "this" close) on the subject of comparing Stafford and Sanchez to Cutler.

It would have been very helpful to me because I haven't seen much of Sanchez and very little of Stafford (I was far too occupied last year to watch college football). I have, however, seen a lot of Cutler.

Knowing how these guys compare to him would be extremely useful in terms of arm strength, accuracy, headiness, etc..

FAX

[Smed1065]

Originally Posted by OnTheWarpath58

Scott Wright ranked them this way:

Stafford
Cutler
Ryan
Sanchez
Flacco

Kiper made the comment before the combine on ESPN.

It's actually pretty obvious if you know what you're looking for.

I am all for Stafford but not anyone after for QB. At any cost attitude. That is BPA also. Last year was the dumb asses saying we need to reach beyond the BPA, Now this year it is not BPA and needs? But I thought we are still rebuilding?
Just IMO.

[Pioli Zombie]

Kiperticulitis. Being wrong all the time.
Posted via Mobile Device

[blueballs]

Al Davisness -rigor mortis

[FAX]

Hamasosomiasis. When you kill yourself over nothing, really.

FAX

['Hamas' Jenkins]

Originally Posted by blueballs

True Fanism is yet to be defined

Do you remember the 350 post thread about the symptoms of TFS not two months ago?

[kcbubb]

Originally Posted by CrazyHorse

They are all pretty funny. Even PZs.

I have one.

Constipational blindness:

It's when a person has thier head so far up Mark Sanchez's ass they cant see anything else.
The 1st step to recovery is to admit you have a problem.

that's great!